Top 10 worst movies 2019

Notes: If Brian De Palma always did have some ups and downs during his prolific career, this was probably his lowest point so far, I’m afraid. Seriously, pretty much nothing worked in this flick. The first thing that bothered me was the music. Indeed, not only it was completely generic, but it was also omnipresent, and, above all, it almost never matched the scene that was taking place. Then, if the cast seemed interesting enough, they all gave some rather weak performances, especially Carice van Houten who was pretty pathetic but, on the other hand, she wasn’t helped with this material. However, eventually, the biggest issue was with the story though. Indeed, even though it was again pretty generic, it still managed to be quite confusing and the end-result was just a boring mess. I mean, it was apparently supposed to be some kind of international spy thriller dealing with terrorism with several international locations but , while it might sound ambitious, it was never convincing, interesting or entertaining whatsoever. It’s such a pity that Brian De Palma could deliver such a weak movie in this genre when the guy actually used to be a thriller master back in the 80’s and 90’s.

Notes: To be honest, it turned out to be even worse than I expected. Basically, they took a very generic and boring action flick and they thought it would be so clever to mix it up with an internet streamer/journalist. Seriously, it has been a while since I have seen a movie with such a ridiculous concept (and I saw recently ‘Down’ which was about a killer elevator… but it actually worked better than this movie). First of all, there is absolutely no reason and no explanation whatsoever why this cop would accept that this girl would tag along while he is working on a case. Seriously, what was the upside for him? Then, it was just so annoying to hear this girl constantly hammering the fact that she was supposedly searching for ‘the unfiltered truth’ when, in fact, what she was doing was the worst kind of sensationalist journalism. Finally, there is absolutely no way that any network would broadcast this kind of live feed with people getting shot at and even getting killed live on the air. Even on the internet, after a while, they would have just shut this sh*t down. Concerning Aaron Eckhart, he was actually not bad and he did what he could with this abysmal material but it‘s a pity that the guy is spending his time nowadays with such worthless action flicks. Seriously, it is quite a downfall after playing Harvey Dent in ‘The Dark Knight’ more than 10 years before.

Notes: I found it slightly difficult to judge this movie as I’m completely unfamiliar with the musical it was based on. I mean, putting aside the countless issues regarding this adaptation, it still seemed to be a really weird and surreal musical focusing on some anthropomorphic cats. The lack of plot is basically hidden behind a non-stop succession of songs but, to be honest, it does seem narratively rather weak. Anyway, even if I’m still not convinced by the actual potential of the original classic musical, there is no doubt that they completely botched this adaptation though. Indeed, instead of wearing some silly cat costumes, they thought it would be a great idea to go full-on CGI but the end-result was just awful. The CGI team complained that the production had been rushed but, even if they had been given more time, it would still have been ugly as hell and the concept was just completely misguided. At some point, Spielberg was actually trying to adapt it as an animated feature which might have been a better idea. Coming back on the CGI, they also took the opportunity to completely white-wash Francesca Hayward. Indeed, even though Hayward is a beautiful black woman, she actually played the whitest cat of the bunch which was again another misguided choice. Concerning the songs, I have to admit that they were not bad but, like the rest of the movie, they all felt weird and surreal. On the other hand, I still think that Jennifer Hudson’s solo song was actually quite beautiful and actually saved this movie from becoming a complete disaster.

Notes: Even though it didn’t expect much from the start, it still turned out to be seriously lame though. Where should I start? First of all, in my opinion, car racing is rather dull but this dirt racing seemed even more pathetic but it wasn’t even the main issue here. Indeed, the whole thing was just so cheap and, above all, so flat. Indeed, the plot was also really generic and completely predictable and the fact that it was all done and wrapped up in 80 mins was also another bad sign. Concerning John Travolta, even with such trash, the guy was still charismatic but it was pretty much the only thing he gave here and his performance was just really weak. Concerning Becca, I was wondering who was this really charismatic actress who looked like Shania Twain and it’s only when the movie was over that I discovered that it was actually Shania Twain herself. Well, I’m glad she was involved because she was really lovely but, to be honest, it seemed to be a rather weird career move to show up in a cheap flick like this one that very little people will watch after all. At least, you could say this movie did finally procure some kind of reunions of the Vega brothers but, since Travolta and Madsen were both rather pathetic, even the Tarantino fans won’t be pleased, I’m afraid.

Notes: When it was released, it was a commercial and critical flop and, indeed, I'm afraid it turned out to be really lame. Of course, it's pretty obvious that they got their inspiration from 'The Lego Movie' but the end-result with this rather shameless ripp-off was even more disappointing than you could possibly imagine, that's for sure. I mean, where to start? At least, I have to admit it was neat that this world did combine all kinds of playmobil toys all together but it was probably the only thing that did work, I'm afraid. Indeed, they started with an intro in the real world which is such an overused and vastly ineffective gimmick but, in this case, it was even more cringe-inducing than usual. On top of that, to do like anyone else, they also had to add some songs but they were all so pathetic. The story was not much better though as the concept was just generic and tedious and the fact that none of the characters involved was actually entertaining whatsoever probably didn’t help. Concerning Anya Taylor-Joy, it was a rare misstep in an otherwise rather flawless career. Eventually, you can't blame her for getting involved in an animated feature like anyone else and, on top of that, a few years later, she would redeem herself with 'The Super Mario Bros. Movie' which was, at least, a huge box-office hit.

Notes: Well, it was fairly abysmal, I'm afraid. And yet, Diane Keaton and Jacki Weaver are both such fine actresses, it was actually rather impressive how much they managed to get from such poor material. I mean, the whole approach was so misguided starting with the fact that the main character was dying of cancer or the fact that she couldn't stand her new neighbour at first. These were such tired old boring narrative tropes. I mean, I could imagine a completely different story during which Martha met this new gal who was having fun with some poker games and other more or less illicit affairs. Suddenly, she would discover that, even in the twilight years of her life, life could still be an adventure. Above all, instead of being lonely, she would have a great friend from now on. Unfortunately, instead of focusing on this great couple of friends, for some reason, they decided to have them start a geriatric cheerleading club because it was exactly what this movie needed at this point, a seriously tedious and completely predictable gimmick. I mean, I have nothing against cheerleading, as a European, I have very little affinity with this 'sport' but I'm pretty sure it would have been more fun and/or more rewarding to see Martha and Sheryl running instead some illegal poker games in this retirement community. The other annoying thing with this approach was that all the other women were even less developed than the two leads, they had barely any personality whatsoever and were reduced to some caricatures just to get some cheap laughs.

Notes: Even though I have to admit that I actually have a weak spot for romantic comedies, I actually dread the Dutch ones and this one was a perfect example why. In this case, the first thing that bothered me was how messy the damned thing was. Indeed, for some reasons, 1/3 was taking place in Curaçao and 2/3 were taking place in the Netherlands and the random jumps between the 2 locations were just jarring. The other issue was that there were just way too many characters involved. I mean, there were 5 couples involved, even one love triangle, which was obviously too much to handle in 90 mins. In fact, if they had focused only on the love triangle, the relationship between Jack and Cindy and the relationship between Lisa and Jim, and threw away pretty much everything else, it could have worked. However, since there were so many characters involved, none of them were developed enough. The only one who still managed to make his character fairly interesting was Thijs Römer which was quite an achievement considering the material he was provided. The most disappointing one was Yolanthe Cabau whose character was completely one-note and not entertaining whatsoever. Finally, the foul language didn’t really bother me (I mean, with such a title, what did you expect?) but some of the jokes were just downright inappropriate. For example, there was a very young boy who did swallow some Viagra by accident and ended up in a hospital and it was just bewildering that this cringe-inducing scene was actually supposed be funny.

Notes: Even though I have a weak spot for the genre, I’m afraid it must be one of the weakest romantic comedies I have seen so far on Netflix. It’s not that it was really awful, it’s just that the concept was really weak (starting with the title). I mean, couldn’t they find another way for her to end up with the Inn? Like simply buying it for cheap, for example, instead of joining some completely unbelievable contest? Then, there was the renovation issue. Indeed, I’m definitely not an expert, but such vast renovations should take at least 6 months, maybe even a year. Ok, if they did hire a whole team of construction workers working around the clock, maybe in 3 months, but she was doing everything with one guy. Then, finally, there was also the price tag. Apparently, since they replaced virtually ALL the furniture, without mentioning all the modern high tech stuff, I can’t imagine how much it did cost but I assume it was just way too expensive for her. To make things worse, the rest of the story was just so generic and predictable. Indeed, the fist person she met was of course the guy she would eventually fall in love with. At least, they usually start arguing at first but they didn’t even bother here. And, then, through the whole duration, she kept saying that she was going back to the US but it was so obvious that she wasn’t going anywhere. On the positive side, Christina Milian was charming and charismatic and this community in New-Zealand was really sweet but everything else was just so disposable and really tedious to behold.

Notes: I was pretty sure that it was a remake of a vintage horror flick (which I haven’t seen) but I didn’t realize that it was yet already the 2nd remake less than 15 years after the previous one (which I haven’t seen either). Well, the only remarkable thing about this 3rd version is that it turned out to be even worse than the previous one which already had a seriously lame reputation. In fact, I think the concept actually had some potential. Indeed, it turned out to be some kind of feminist slasher flick involving some sorority girls but, unfortunately, pretty much nothing worked with the damned thing, I’m afraid. First of all, even though Imogen Poots was not bad in spite the rather abysmal material, the rest of the cast was just so completely forgettable but I have to admit that they were not helped by the fact their characters were all so poorly developed. Another huge mistake was to add some really convoluted and totally unnecessary mythology about black magic. Seriously, what was the added value? Furthermore, it didn’t make much sense. Sure, this fraternity might get away with killing one girl but you might wonder what was supposed to be their next move after wiping out whole sorority houses like that. Finally, and it was probably what bothered most the horror fans, the action was just really tame and you might wonder if aiming for a PG13 rating was really the best strategy.

Notes: Even though it didn’t turn out to be one of Sandler’s worst movies, it still turned out to be one of his laziest. The best example would be how, out of the blue, the main character decided to go on a trip in Europe with his wife. I mean, sure, they didn’t seem to be poor but they definitely didn’t have the financial means to take such a sudden trip. Then, even if Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston have been friends apparently for years, they didn’t really have much chemistry as a couple. Furthermore, it didn’t help that if Sandler was rather believable as a loser police officer (not exactly a huge challenge for him though), Anniston was not convincing at all as a blue-collar hairdresser. Concerning the plot itself, well, like most movies involving Sandler, I don’t think it was such a bad concept but, unfortunately, it was again so poorly developed. Basically, it felt like some kind of weak mix of a Cluedo game and an Agatha Christie mystery novel. Indeed, to parody a genre which is already rather silly to start with like the mystery novel is rather tricky and the makers here just failed miserably. Seriously, all the characters were just rather tedious and most of the jokes were lame.