The Best of Jim Carrey

Truman Burbank
"Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous!"

Joel Barish
"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

Lloyd Christmas
"We got no food, we got no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"

The Cable Guy
"Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

Jeff Pickles
"Please don't use a bad word when you can use a good word."

Andy Kaufman
"I hate sitcoms, George. They're just... stupid jokes... and canned laughter! And you don't know why it's there, but it's there. And... and that's DEAD people laughing! Did you know that? Those people are dead!"

Stanley Ipkiss
"It's party time. P, A, R, T. Y? Because I gotta!"

Fletcher Reede
"Stop breaking the law, asshole!"

Steven Russell
"Love sure is a funny thing. Makes you happy, makes you sad, makes you do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. In fact, love's the reason I'm laying here dying."

Count Olaf
"I'm gonna get you kids. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll *find* you! Oh, you are so deceased!"

Charlie / Hank
"Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates. Would you like to see my weasel?"

The Riddler
"Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big, black bat?"

Ace Ventura
"If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer."

Colonel Stars and Stripes
"As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth."

Carl Allen
"Hey, Carl... you wanna give your money away to some homeless guy? Yes, yes I do. How 'bout letting him use up the phone battery so that you can't get help when your car runs out of gas? You know what? That sounds like a fuckin' great idea!"