Self Improvement

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.

Confine yourself to the present.

Epictectus' pupil also saw its possible to be kind without vulnerability, because submitting oneself to the whims of others, or one's own anger, stupidly brings us out of our nature (i.e. accord with oneself and others), and makes us their slaves. He renounced pleasure and pain and saw no value in doing something if it excess of it was vice, and it didn't contribute to himself and society.

Meditations inspired me to try a more ascetic and spiritual life.

Life changing. Epictetus' other key idea is besides extreme abuse, we're always in control of our responses.

Chapter 78

Nothing in the world is softer or weaker than water
Yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong
This is because nothing can replace it

That the weak overcomes the strong
And the soft overcomes the hard
Everybody in the world knows
But cannot put into practice

Therefore sages say:
The one who accepts the humiliation of the state
Is called its master
The one who accepts the misfortune of the state
Becomes king of the world
The truth seems like the opposite. (source)

★★★★★ for Wilde's essays, which I've read a lot of.

Beyond Wilde's sarcastic quotes is a treasure trove of sincere writing.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognises infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him. A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses. - Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man under Socialism

Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. - Viktor E. Frankl

In the first half, the account of Frankl's experience in the concentration camps, he says love and the belief his wife is alive kept him alive. Many survivors like Frankl found their lives were completely destroyed (Frankl lost his wife). He mentions a man who felt wronged by the world and chose nihilism and destruction; his point may have been life still has meaning and nothing's accomplished by destroying things and by extension part of yourself.

I liked the second half about his psychotherapeutic approach logotherapy even better; my favorite is the anecdote of the man who sweat anxiously and was asked by Frankl to sweat profusely in public as much as he can. The anxiety went away and he was cured. It's easy to forget how frequently misery becomes greater and sometimes more intense by avoiding it.

And then the real tragedy, as Andre Malraux wrote in The Human Condition: that it takes sixty years of incredible suffer­ing and effort to make such an individual, and then he is good only for dying.

What are we to make of a creation in which the routine activity is for organisms to be tearing others apart with teeth of all types—biting, grinding flesh, plant stalks, bones between molars, pushing the pulp greedily down the gullet with delight, incorporating its essence into one's own organization, and then excreting with foul stench and gasses the residue. Every­one reaching out to incorporate others who are edible to him. - Ernest Becker

Berne awakened me to the dishonesty, manipulation, and self-delusion present in my life. He basically says, people who play destructive games interact with other people one one level (e.g. adult to adult) while operating on another level (e.g. parent to child admonishment); moreover, they use a hook or 'gimmick' so people feel compelled to interact on their terms, and affirm their life script. A person can disabuse the initiator of their life script or just make it clear they aren't playing that game.

The destructive 'existential positions' I've learned (e.g. 'poor me', 'people are out to dominate me', 'I'm stupid') are hard to shake. They require something more constructive than simply disengaging from others. But, I'm up to the challenge.

McCloud expanded my mind on visual art and perception itself. Anybody who appreciate art should give this a try.

For the understanding, like the eye, judging of objects only by its own sight, cannot but be pleased with what it discovers, having less regret for what has escaped it, because it is unknown. Thus he who has raised himself above the alms-basket, and, not content to live lazily on scraps of begged opinions, sets his own thoughts on work, to find and follow truth, will (whatever he lights on) not miss the hunter's satisfaction; every moment of his pursuit will reward his pains with some delight; and he will have reason to think his time not ill spent, even when he cannot much boast of any great acquisition. - John Locke

This cult leader actually has sound practical advice and influenced the stoics.

Maus reaffirmed my faith in humanity; Art's father seemed to survive not despite of his integrity and humanity, but because of it.

“Learning how to think" really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think.
It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience.
Because if you cannot or will not exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.

Wallace understands unhappiness stems from contempt, alienation, and not recognizing our biases.

In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself. - Marjane Satrapi

Marji is able to live, for the most part, an honest life. Instead of letting blame stop her from maturing, Marji's troubles give her an impetus to better herself through education.

What the bourgeoisie therefore produces, above all, are its own grave-diggers. Its fall and the victory of the proletariat are equally inevitable. - Friedrich Engels, Karl Marx

This provides a good explanation why people lie to themselves or fear punishment that never comes unless they cause it. People relive the emotions of experience even if it was suppressed or forgotten, but we can rationally realize the situation's changed.

I am agnostic only to the extent that I am agnostic about fairies at the bottom of the garden. - Richard Dawkins

Dawkins' book was the the final nail in the coffin of my indoctrinated fear of living without god.

I dislike Pascal's wager 'what if you're wrong' because that's an incredibly slanted question. Dawkins response is similar to Gaunilo's greatest conceivable island, an idea mocking the logic of a god's inconceivability as its proof of existence. Most religious people are atheistic about more gods than agnostics.