Nostalgia Critic's closing thoughts

It's right up there with Batman & Robin. I mean the hanus factor's off the charts. The plot's all over the map, the lines are terrible, the characters are cardboard devices. It just sucks. It's lost in space it also sucks in space.

In my world Godzilla is over. Why? because this movie bombed big time. Bringing down the special effects disaster movies that were truly disaster movies.

I mean even if you don't like the other Ernest movies, you can sense there's a passion and energy going through them like the people were at least having fun while making them. Sadly, you don't get that here. Everything seems forced, tired and even unpleasant. It's definitely, the weakest of the films to be released in theaters. Aside from Eartha Kitt overacting it's pretty forgettable. Jim Varney, God bless him I'm sure he's trying, but he just needed better direction. It's that horrible combination of boring and unpleasant. In fact, I think Ernest Scared Boring would have been a more appropriate title. But what can you do?

Bottom line, this movie is stupid. It's stupid because it's boring, it's boring because it's confusing and it's confusing because it's stupid. Even the moral makes no (bleep)ing sense. So how am I supposed to trust the rest of it?

This movie is wretched! A festering sack of (bleep)!

It's amazing how unfunny it is and what they confuse for comedy! If you gave your toddler a camera and asked them to film something funny, I'll bet you a million bucks they'll come up with something funnier than this! It's one of the worst comedies of all time and for good (bleep)ing reason. Even if it did have that one joke that worked, even the movie found a way to kill it dead in it's tracks because that's what the movie does: it kills comedy.

I'm not going to act like the first movie was perfect but it was a basic fun survival flick. This... This just seems foamed in, the characters are forgettable when they're not incredibly stupid, the story is unbelievably forced and the whole animal rights thing really backfires when the people who are trying to promote it are CONSTENTLY MAKING THINGS WORSE! There's no sense of wonder, no sense of adventure, just setup scenes for the dinosaurs to walk in and destroy. That's it. It's a bad sequel plain and simple.

Maybe it was supposed to saved for the sequel: Last Action Hero 2 Death Takes a Holiday. Well luckily nobody saw it because this film taked at the box office. And why shouldn't it. It's dull, I mean it is so boring. Granted, some of the ideas have promise and there were one or two jokes that worked but aside from that it's a very clumsy boring action film.

And that's Rover Dangerfield or as I like to call it UNFUNNY RODNEY DANGERFIELD STANDUP! It's basically the same thing as celebrities writing kids books, everyone thinks they can do it but it takes a lot of talent to do it right. And this film does not do it right. While the animation can be pretty to look at, it's not worth the constant one liners and extreme lack of any development. It's a clumsy story at best and probably not worth the time it took to make it. If you want to see Rodney at his best, see some of his standups. If you want to see him at his worst, go find this (bleep) movie and see why a bad idea should stay a bad idea.

Remember how I said Tarsom directed the Cell, a poorly made movie that dove on the mind f a serial killer. Well Tarsom got it wrong. THIS IS THE POORLY MADE MOVIE THAT DIVES IN THE MIND OF A SERIAL KILLER, IT JUST FORGOT TO MENTION THE SERIAL KILLER PART! Not only is the movie horribly written, awkwardly acted, filled with lame as (bleep)effects and using way to many (bleep) wide angle lenses, it is scary!

So how bad is Steel? Really bad. People say this killed off the comic book movie for a while, well I can see why. It was just an attempt to give someone who wasn't supposed to have a movie career a movie career. So they thought making this guy a D.C. comic superhero would certainly be the way to go.

What a piece of (bleep). I know nothing about this show and this movie didn't do anything to fix that. All it did was turn me off to it even more. They said it was 3 movies cut together, you know what? I believe it. There is no care about what happens to these main characters or if the story makes any sense whatsoever.

Whether you like the original musical or not I think we can all agree this is beyond a serious downgrade. The childish antics are so painful and so out of place that I keep expecting to see the Saturday Fun House Logo pop up from SNL. I've learned more about Thailand by eating at a Thai restaurant. It cares nothing for it's main characters and instead wants to focus on it's comedic side characters which even then aren't even that developed either. And when you get down to it, it doesn't even make sense. Why make a family version of this anyway? Did they think there was going to be a big enough crowd for it?

This is not only one of the worst holiday specials ever made, this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Period. I cannot believe how unfunny it is. Sandler's voice acting is probably the worst I've heard in my life and the movie couldn't even keep it's mean spirited tone. In a strange way, I could at least have a touch of respect for it if it was meant to be unlikeable from beginning to end. But, no! They fed in this emotional (bleep) that they actually think is going to make you feel that special holiday feeling. Seriously guys, after this (shows deer crapping)? The only holiday feeling I got from this is similar to when I puke from drinking to much eggnog and every time I see this incredible animation mixed with it, it makes me want to punch those (bleep)s who keep Happy Madison popular when better talent could be utilized for better stories. (Bleep) this movie!