Fav' TV Characters

DCI Gene Hunt


"Blimey, if that skirt was hitched any higher I could see what you had for breakfast."

"Special Branch are as nervous as a virgin in a brothel."

DCI Gene Hunt: D.I. Bollyknickers, you appear to be drunk in charge of a handbag and dressed like a tart again.
DI Alex Drake: Oh piss off you lardy fascist.
DCI Gene Hunt: We'll make a copper of you yet.

Homer Simpson


"Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

[sings] "I get knocked down, I get knocked down again, you're never gonna knock me down... I take a whiskey drink, I take a chocolate drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink! I sing the song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

Pam De Beaufort


“I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.”

"I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F*ck Sookie!"

Lafayette Reynolds


"'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger... with AIDS? In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat? .. Aw baby, it's too late for that. Faggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this motherf*cker. Everything on your goddamn table got aids. Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Eat it! Bitch, you come into my house, you gonna eat the food THE WAY I F*CKIN' MAKE IT! Do you understand me?
Tip yo' waitress."

Jesse Pinkman


“Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!”

“Yo, Gatorade me, bitch”

“We’re all on the same page. The one that says, if I can’t kill you, you’ll sure as shit wish you were dead.”


Walter White


"I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!"

"Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute 'plans' in my book."

".. I came to realize it's that fear is the worst of it, that's the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can, right in the teeth."


Mike Ehrmantraut


“Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.”

“Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep, with a gun to their head.”

"You - are not the guy. You're not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don't. You - are not the guy."


Saul Goodman


"If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it."

"He said he was gonna break my legs, and don't tell me he didn't mean it because he gave me the dead mackerel eyes."

"Walter never told me how lucky he was. Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers : only the very best... with just a right amount of dirty!"

Helena


"Sestra"

Stephen Holder


"Oh snap!"

Daenerys Targaryen (Khaleesi)


"I am a Khaleesi of the Dothraki. I am the wife of the great Kahl and I carry his son inside me. The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands."

Khal Drogo


"And to my son, the stallion who will mount the world, I will also pledge a gift. I will give him the iron chair that his mother's father sat upon."

Arya Stark


"My father is Hand of the King. I am not a boy, I am Arya Stark of Winterfell. And if you lay a hand on me my father will have both of your heads on spikes. Now, are you going to let me by, or do I have to smack you on the ear to help you with your hearing?"

Tyrion Lannister


"It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on its head."

"I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence."

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane


.. *season 4* ;)

"I understand that if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth, I'm going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this room."

Saga Norén

Rick Grimes


Daryl Dixon


Michonne


Glenn Rhee

Constance Langdon


"I believe life is for the living..don't you?"

"I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things."

"One of the comforts of having children is knowing one's youth has not fled, but merely been passed down to a new generation. They say when a parent dies, a child feels his own mortality, but when a child dies, it's immortality that a parent loses."

Moira O'Hara


"Your sense of humor was and continues to be a delight."



Lana Winters


Sister Jude Martin


Kit Walker

Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren


Yvonne 'Vee' Parker

Kenzi


"Learn to enjoy your shit already, you can frickin' control people by touch, and not in a creepy hand job way. That is awesome."

Eric Cartman


"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

"I’m not fat, I just haven’t grown into my body yet you skinny bitch."

"Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two."

Vanessa Ives


"Your father loves you very much and would do anything to save you. But I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you."

Regina Mills / The Evil Queen


Rumpelstiltskin / Mr Gold


Emma Swan


Mulan

Bea Smith + Franky Doyle


Allie Novak

Phoebe Buffay


"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah."

Monica: Okay, Phoebs, you know what you're doing right?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Joey's gonna catch the ball and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: What's block?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you knew what you're doing.
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.

Karen Walker


"How did you hurt your back? Running away from good taste?"

"You know, Honey, normally my motto is "Drugs not hugs", but today I feel different."

"Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning."

Rosario: Miss Karen? We have a little visitor.
Karen: Oh, for god's sake, I'm not your mother. You know where the tampons are!

Lynette Scavo


"I love you, I love your finger painting, but if you touch me with those messy hands, I swear I will cut them off."

Tom: "I never thought you'd want a fifth kid."
Lynette: "I don't, but I didn't want the first four, and they're starting to grow on me."

"Well, gotta hand it to her. Just when you think Bree's thrown every conceivable theme party she hosts a 'Shame on you for thinking my husband killed someone' dinner."

Frank Gallagher


"I had to wait 4 hours at A & E 'cause of someone queue hopping! Who cares if he was shot? He shot HIMSELF. Some people are so selfish."

""Where's your Mama gone? Where's your Mama gone?" Used to sing that to the kids when Monica fucked off, never a dry eye in the house, all shot off upstairs howling they did."

"Debbie, love. You're as miserable as Morrissey eating Kentucky Fried Chicken at an animal rights festival."

Sheriff Lucas Buck


"Conscience is just the fear of getting caught."

"Only two roads in this world. And if you're listening to anyone but me, you're on the wrong one."

"All guilt is relative. Loyalty counts. And never let your conscience be your guide."

"What I say is, be careful what you see in a man's eyes. Might not be the truth."

Caleb Temple: I hate you!
Sheriff Lucas Buck: And someday, we'll make that hate work for you.

Father Dougal McGuire


"You know me Ted, the lights are on, but there's nobody home... "

"Sorry Ted. I'm not very good at making decisions... or am I?"

"Ted, you're not going to believe it! Clint Eastwood's been arrested for a crime he didn't - oh, wait, it's a film."

"That's nearly as mad as that thing you told me about the loaves and the fishes."

Patsy Stone


"Neat? She was so anally retentive she couldn't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture!"

"One snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high the whole world's your gynaecologist."

"The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford Clinic."

"Darling if that woman has one more face lift she'll have a beard!"

Eddy: What are you drinking Patsy?
Patsy: Chanel No. 5

Sylvia 'Bodybag' Hollamby

+ Yvonne Atkins + Nikki Wade


"There's about as much chance of Zandra Plackett coming off the nasty as there is of Cliff Richard inviting me up to his hotel room for cream cakes and sex."

"Zandra Plackett's got more junk in her than Steptoe's back yard."

Sylvia Hollamby: Do I look like I was born yesterday?
Yvonne Atkins: Not unless you age at the speed of light.

Sylvia Hollamby: All right, lets have you.
Nikki Wade: In your dreams, love.

Blanche Hunt


"There's nowt worse than folk poring over other people's misfortune for their own entertainment. Now pipe down, I can't hear a word of Trisha!"

(about granddaughter Tracy -) "She's a cow, but she's our cow."

(to Steve McDonald -) "That's the second fiancé to chuck that ring away. You'd be better off buying a boomerang!"

Norris: "Speed bumps? Oh no, they are so ugly and unattractive."
Blanche: "So are you, but at least they have some use."

Roseanne Conner


"You've got to give a guy his dreams, then he won't notice that you control his reality."

"No, the only thing I've ever wanted for my kids, is that they're happy, and... that they're out of the house. And I tell you what, happy ain't even *that* important."

"Dating's just like hunting: you get lucky, you go home early."

Jim Royle


"Anthony, if that's the invisible man, tell him I can't see him."

"I paid a quid for these pants and I've got fifty pence worth stuck up me arse."

"Anne Robinson, my arse! Watchdog? I am watching a bloody dog!"

Boomhauer - just because I rarely understand a word he says.. ever.


"Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man."

"Yeah man I tell ya what... Did one of them snipe hunts last night... man with them dang ol' sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! man, go Woooo-loo-loo-loo!... Talk about big mistake y'all... It's right there in that cooler."

Grace Kelly


"You know Nadine, my Momma always told me.. men are like linoleum floors, lay them just right and you can walk all over them for the next thirty years."

"We don't worship Satan on Halloween. We do that on Mother's Day."

Wade Swoboda: I love you like a Sister.
Grace Kelly: Oh, Wade. I'm Southern. Please don't tell me you love me like a sister!

Stella


"Kim, sorry to interrupt darling, I was just wondering if you had any spare batteries.."
PAUSES & realising that Kim has her electric toothbrush running under the duvet(!)
- that you weren't using. Not to worry I'll nip into town. Can I get you anything - Diva magazine? KY?"