Nostalgia Critic Reviews

Note: The review is FINALLY DONE! Feel free to add your comments now! I'll keep an update notice to reflect edits and additions made.

LAST UPDATE: 1/24/16

Here are a series of additional commentaries that haven't addressed by any other reviewers and some additional details about those that have been made about the declining quality of Doug Walker's Nostalgia Critic series, including his most recent offenses from this past year. As the title suggests, this came to me while listening to the classic Bob Dylan track "Idiot Wind", off his album Blood On The Tracks. Lines from the song will be dividers. It'll also be featured as a link at the end for people to read the lyrics, as every video with the audio has been taken down, sadly. Obviously, not every line applies to Doug, but the ones that do fit perfectly.

Heads Full Of Big Ideas, Images And Distorted Facts

As many have pointed out, Doug tends to nitpick on various plot points or alleged inconsistencies that don't take much to explain if you're paying close enough attention. A prime example comes in his Matrix review, stating that the Matrix is all powerful and all-knowing, and since the Agent Smiths are the enforcers of it, they should have all that knowledge, and thus be able to find Morpheus, Trinity and Neo and kill them with little effort. Except, that literally makes no sense. If the Agent Smiths were like that, they would question their existence and why they were taking orders from the Matrix, and might even join Neo's cause. The Matrix would know that, and thus has to make them more akin to regular people in terms of intelligence and understanding.

He also tends to suffer from the idea that any stupid decisions made by characters are automatically plot holes. A prime example many use is Charlize Theron's character in Prometheus running in such a way as to end up crushed by the Engineer ship rolling over her. But her character has never done any actual field work, content to stay inside ships. She's also panicking and thus not thinking clearly. Plus, HUMANS MAKE STUPID DECISIONS IN REAL LIFE! Are you suggesting that in films, people should always be perfect?

Then there's the fact that Doug doesn't realize that the Tim Burton adaptations of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Alice in Wonderland are far more faithful to the original source material than the versions he prefers. If Doug had ever read Lewis Carroll for himself, he'd see that Underland/Wonderland is much better represented here. This doesn't necessarily change the faults that DO exist in these versions, but this is yet another moment where his lack of research is clearly visible.

Someone's Got It In For Me

Doug has an absolute irrational hatred for Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner and Matthew Broderick, and states that none of them have EVER made a good movie in their lives. So Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Biloxi Blues, The Insider, L.A. Confidential, Field of Dreams and Dances With Wolves are just big huge disappointments in his eyes, or they would be if he'd chosen to actually see them all.

Doug uses the worst films these people have been in (A Good Year, Waterworld/The Postman, Godzilla/Deck The Halls) as signs that they are incapable of doing anything good. In fact in one of his Disneycember years, he stated that Broderick's performance as Simba means he can't enjoy The Lion King and call it a classic. Same with Ferris Bueller (which is a surprise for someone who claims to be an absolute fan of John Hughes' filmography). His hatred for Crowe, in particular, means he can't enjoy any of the collaborations with Ridley Scott, especially Gladiator, and joining the crowd in attacking his performance in Les Miserables, without considering that he was singing in a style he wasn't used to or fully trained in. 

Everyone also knows about Doug's Randy Newman jokes, in which he attacks Newman as having absolutely no original ideas or talent, and is simply a waste of space with nothing to offer. Of course, he completely refuses to take into account "When She Loved Me" from Toy Story 2, "Our Town" from Cars, and the absolute simplistic beauty of "Feels Like Home." (Check out "Feels Like Home" here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dLq7I7jcIA)

He also continually pours vehement scorn on films based on Stephen King books, except his precious Stanley Kubrick adaptation of The Shining, and basically states that King should not have complained about Kubrick's deviations from the book, essentially stating "It's good, it's a masterpiece, don't fucking complain! Just sit down and enjoy it, King, you pussy!" So, clearly, King's opinion about an adaptation of his work doesn't matter whatsoever. He also of course thinks that in the miniseries It, that Pennywise making corny jokes or using balloons to signal his presence isn't remotely scary, saying "How are balloons fucking scary?!" Except, it's not the balloons that are scary, it's that it signifies that Pennywise is near and watching them. Sad that Doug couldn't see what was right in front of him.

And of course, there's Doug's massive vendetta and hate against Christopher Nolan. Need I say more? He also has a massive hatred of Neill Blomkamp, especially District 9, referring to it as a pretentious, absurd and overhyped film. So clearly, he would be dismissive of Blomkamp's planned Alien film, simply because of who's directing it, in spite of it essentially undoing the blights of Alien 3  and Alien Resurrection, and restoring Hicks and Newt into the story, as well as a triumphant return by Sigourney Weaver to the role that made her famous. (Of course, Doug isn't the only Channel Awesome contributor to make gross overgeneralizations to dismiss something or someone worthy. Film Brain despises every single Tim Burton film, (Doug only likes Batman, Beetlejuice, Batman Returns and half-likes The Nightmare Before Christmas, and despises all else) and is so hateful of The Hangover to the point that he despises Bradley Cooper and considers him a talentless hack, because he'll only be Phil. Todd in the Shadows absolutely abhors the music of Chicago, except he refers to the period of their schlocky '80s ballads and believes that's the only incarnation. He absolutely either doesn't know or doesn't care about their late '60s/early '70s beginnings, and what made them so influential and worthy of their recent induction into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.)

What's Good Is Bad, What's Bad Is Good

I could spend ages talking about Doug's contrarian stances, but I'll just hit the lowlights. After all, we have his most recent grievous offenses to get to.

There's Doug's famous "Seuss Nazi" stance about the feature length film adaptations of Dr. Seuss' work. He's not content to just address the flaws of The Grinch (which is far better than it has been given credit for, as in spite of being dogged by very jarring adult humor, it still perfectly keeps its Seuss-ian identity and stays true to the values of the book) and The Cat In The Hat (which was a colossal misfire that rightfully deserves its rock bottom reputation), but the better works like Horton Hears A Who and The Lorax. He dogmatically and self-righteously attacks every single change and performance, failing to comprehend that certain things are necessary in order to get a 90-minute run time, and were all blessed by Dr. Seuss' widow, Audrey Geisel, who clearly knows and understands what her husband would have wanted in a film. Is the film perfect by any means? No, and there are indeed areas that could have been improved, particularly in terms of morality, but it's still a very wonderful and understanding adaptation to inspire a sense of hope and change. And referring to the Once-ler as the Hipster and a "rejected Michael Cera character?" Take a look in the mirror, Doug.

Disneycember tends to be among some of his worst material where his lack of understanding/research tends to come through the most. He attacks virtually every single post-Lion King Disney Renaissance film as worthless, too dark and violent, too cutesy, or too idiotic (Pocahontas, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, Hercules, Mulan, Tarzan). He joins Nostalgia Chick in attacking deviations from source material/historical record, and character arcs and designs (Quasimodo's too naïve, Herc's a muscular idiot, Mulan has nothing for her, and is just there to give a cliché girl power narrative, doing absolutely nothing heroic). Both also attack the fantasy elements of Pocahontas and Don Bluth's 1997 animated film Anastasia, despite the fact that the filmmakers said in interview junkets that these were NEVER INTENDED TO BE BIOPICS! Doug also hypocritically states that deviations from historical record can work if the narrative and the characters are done well enough. This is indeed true, but to dismiss films that clearly meet that standard simply because they're not as epic in scale and production as Braveheart is too ridiculous for words. And Doug's not even bothering to understand Japanese culture and judging manga/anime by Western standards fully discredit his reviews of the Studio Ghibli films and Sailor Moon.

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His contrarian streak also reveals itself in his Disneycember skewering of The Princess And The Frog, Tangled, Wreck-It Ralph and Big Hero 6. He pulls out his canards of "I don't know," "Why is this happening (clearly missing the explanation)?" and "unoriginal" in attacking these very amazing films that contribute to the recent Disney Revival, just as important and wonderful as Frozen deservedly is. (Doug does like that film, but in describing why he likes it, he goes into full squealing incoherent fanboy lapdog mode, calling Elsa a "badass hero." Elsa is a wonderful, sympathetic and likable character, but Sarah Connor or Ellen Ripley she is not.)

For 2015, his reviews have sunk to new lows, as seen with his reviews of Jurassic World, Pixels and Mad Max: Fury Road. Those reviews are entirely sketch-driven, with him and his entourage doing ludicrous reenactments of the scenes, because rather than wait for an appropriate time to review, he chose to review the first two while still in theaters, and gave the last the same treatment despite the fact that the DVD/Blu-ray release had just come out! After a very forced joke relating his decision as to avoid copyright infringement police and then comparing his freedom of speech being trampled on to the situation Sony faced with The Interview, he goes well off the rails. Of course, there's plenty to gripe about Pixels, like there is with any Happy Madison film these days, (seriously, will you ever change, Adam Sandler?!), but his attacks are some of the most vicious and mean-spirited, including having Malcolm-as-Obama in the Kevin James role. We then have dinosaurs represents by paper plates to attack the CGI and call it subpar (refusing to look into the fact why the dinosaur visuals aren't completely the same are because Stan Winston died in 2008), forced Bane-as-Max jokes during which he keeps repeating "Nolanize it!", refusal to believe that 90% of the vehicle chases were done with practical effects (much like how he ignored the main uses of practical effects and models in the Star Wars prequels along with the much-noted CGI), and referring to Charlize Theron's performance as Furiosa as "a shill to pander to the SJW and radical man-hating feminist crowd." He even goes so far as to call Theron a pretty face with no talent behind it, based on his seeing her in various romcoms. And Doug readily admits that he has never bothered to see Monster, and won't because of Theron being in the film. Seriously, you bitch about how you want to see more strong, independent female characters in current movies, and when you get an example of one, you slag her off simply because of who plays her, regardless of how credible the performance is. Next, you're gonna tell us that Thelma & Louise is an awful film, I'm sure.

You Find Out When You've Reached The Top, You're On The Bottom

2015's Disneycember is one of the worst ones yet. Clearly running out of ideas, he chooses to review every Marvel film from Iron Man on, EVERY Star Wars film (all 20th Century Fox-distributed films and the current film, despite still being in theaters, and of course violating the standard that using only 2008- Marvel films established along with a promise to never touch those films, and THEN after finishing that series, CONTINUING by addressing the Special Editions, and then setting up the current film as his recent NC review proper, which will be yet another sketch and reenactment one, even if he praises it to the heavens-UGH!), and various "personal requests" (meaning things like the recent live-action Cinderella film directed by Kenneth Branagh, which was ciritically praised and a massive box office success, and even Rob admitted he could get behind, but Doug slammed as the most inherently evil thing in the world). He of course continually pulls out various points refuted a thousand times involving the Star Wars films (continuing the Jar-Jar is a racist caricature meme. Seriously, his voice and mannerisms are baby talk, not black/Caribbean, and his ears don't look anything like dreadlocks!), continues his inability to pay attention with Marvel films, and so on. (Now, indulge me, as I go a bit off topic here: For those who say that Doug is the George Lucas of film reviewers, keep in mind, we only get that idea from Gary Kurtz, who wasn't involved in the prequel films or in Disney's current slate, and it appears that everyone actually liked, even loved, Lucas' ideas for the prequels, and apparently even contributed heavily. So when it appears no one challenged him, its because no one on that team thought there was anything to challenge. And the prequels are mostly solid, with the exception of Jar Jar and the clunky dialogue. Granted, having someone like Lawrence Kasdan helping with the scripts would've helped smooth over the flaws and improved them considerably. I understand of course that this is probably the case with Doug and Rob, in which case, the aphorism still applies perfectly, but many use it to refer to Doug and Lucas as bullying people into submission. So think before you say something, next time, if you please. Now back to the review!) When addressing the Robert Zemeckis-directed 2009 version of A Christmas Carol, he admits he likes it and thought Jim Carrey's multiple performance was an ambitious idea, but feels it doesn't pay off well, giving off an insulting remark that "I can't buy it because it's still Jim Carrey, still Ace Ventura. Much like I can't buy anything from Leonardo DiCaprio these days, because at the end of the day, he's still Jack Dawson." Sadly, his dismissal of DiCaprio's obvious talent and choice of roles will continue, even after he sees the brilliance of The Revenant. To be fair, he ended Disneycember with a more positive and laudatory review of Inside Out , which he had been previously dismissive of, saying it was unoriginal, comparing it to Osmosis Jones, and saying that "just because it's relatable doesn't make it good, as Nickelback songs have shown." It's fairly nice that Doug actually took the time to revisit it and realize how great the film was (admitting that "it just gets better and better every time I see it, and I'd love a sequel showing Riley and the emotions growing up,"), but while doing so, he threw more poisoned barbs at Pixar, excoriating it for its plans for Finding Dory, Cars 3, Toy Story 4 and The Incredibles 2, referring to it as a soulless decision. If this isn't a sign of completely losing your touch, I don't know what is.

Your Corrupt Ways Have Finally Made You Blind

And then of course, comes the coup de grace as to why Doug has become so unlikable now: his off-camera behavior with several of his compatriots, most notably Spoony, Obscurus Lupa and Phelous. Doug has lately been in the habit of siphoning crowdfunding monies from their projects for his own gain, monopolizing YouTube's version of airtime and generating the vast majority of Channel Awesome's content while still requesting for more people to join the site, and of course making unfounded and uncalled for insults about them behind their backs, most notably Lupa. Phelous of course stood up for her, which led to him being given a miniscule special-effects budget for To Boldly Flee, and then being accused of half-assing his job!

Of course, Doug isn't solely to blame here. Clearly his relationship with founder Mike Michaud is such that Michaud will bend over backwards to satisfy anything Doug desires, regardless of how it affects the other contributors. And so Michaud and his bureaucracy will only be set up to benefit their star. As a result, Doug had Michaud fire Spoony, and Phelous and Lupa had no choice but to leave Channel Awesome. People like Film Brain, Cinema Snob, Todd In The Shadows and so forth are still with the site, but they don't make videos at the pace that they used to due to Doug's monopolizing time and space, problems dealing with the shuttering of Blip (and they didn't backup most of their videos, UNLIKE DOUG!), and possible problems with their Patreon accounts.

Hounded By Your Memory, And All Your Raging Glory

I say all this because I remember how great Doug used to be, and how easily it came to him. Someone who was great once can be great again, as Bob Dylan's late-career renaissance shows. But sadly, Doug simply isn't up for that, and wishes to pander to the hipster crowd and unleash the venom of his personal problems on his adoring audience. I hope someday, Doug, and by extension Rob and Mike Michaud, will take a look at themselves and see what they've become, so they can change before it's too late. That, or just hang it up, and let all the other Channel Awesome content creators, along with Phelous, Lupa and so on, form their own company, one that won't repeat Doug, and by extension Channel Awesome's mistakes.

("Idiot Wind": https://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/idiot-wind)

Back in 2007, an episode of The Angry Video Game Nerd involved the titular character reviewing the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. This was a change of pace to his regular videos as he would normally only review video games, however, I particularly loved this one video and wish he could have done more like this, or that someone would come around and be The Angry Video Game Nerd of movies. In a number of respects, this was The Nostalgia Critic (portrayed by Doug Walker). This is what first attracted me to the series when I first discovered it in 2009, and after watching a few episodes I was hooked. The series debuted on YouTube in 2007 before moving to Doug Walker’s own site That Guy With the Glasses.com (later re-titled Channel Awesome), a website which showcased of people involved in the increasingly popular genre of satirical reviews.

That Guy With the Glasses wasn’t entertainment being churned out by a corporation or by Hollywood executives, it was entertainment for the people by the people with no concern for financial gain but creating content purely out of passion which could be shared with a mass audience thanks to this thing known as the internet. I had my own aspirations to be on TGWTG, of course, nothing ever materialized, but to even be a follower of the site it felt like being part of something truly special and unique. All the great personalities the site had to offer; Spoony, Angry Joe, Todd in the Shadows, Linkara, Paw, Film Brain - the list goes on. Online videos like these have more heart, soul, and personality than contemporary Hollywood blockbusters or anything currently on TV.

But let’s talk about The Nostalgia Critic. Doug Walker was a natural comedian, he made the art of reviewing while cracking jokes, pop culture references and comedic over reactions look easy. Surf Ninjas is my favourite NC review, I have watched a good 30 times; a masterpiece of sarcasm. I remember I used to stay up on Tuesday nights to see each new video as soon as it was uploaded and I considered Doug Walker to be one of my comedic influences.

Various ex-fans of The Nostalgia Critic have different dates as to when he went downhill, so I can’t speak for everyone, but for me personally, 2011 was the beginning of the end. Right from the start of 2011, the cracks were showing. Sequel month was a lazy idea, just rehashing previous review source material, but I presumed this would just be a minor blip. Despite a few good videos over the following year, the quality had declined. Also while I absolutely adored the two year anniversary special Kickassia, the following anniversary special in 2011 Suburban Knights simply wasn’t funny, not to mention it felt like a very anti-climatic follow up to Kickassia in which they made the special in cooperation with an actual micro-nation. Going from something as large-scale and ambitious as that to a special filmed is suburban neighborhood felt like a bummer. When Star Trek month rolled around in January 2012 I gave up. Now at this point, The Nostalgia Critic’s video wasn’t awful, but more so just really boring.

I was glad when Doug brought the series to an end in August 2012 and began a new project called Demo Reel. Perhaps Demo Reel had potential but what I have watched of it is seriously dull; although at least it was something different and showed Doug didn’t want to be The Critic all his life. However, due to the failure of Demo Reel Doug revived The Nostalgia Critic. I haven’t seen everything he has done since the series revival but what I have is unbelievably awful. For this review, I had to try and watch more recent videos of his which I hadn’t seen, and doing so was the biggest chore, such a contrast to his older work which had such a natural progression and the best of which were consistently funny from beginning to end.

A rundown of the problems with The Nostalgia Critic beginning in 2011 and spiraling out of control in 2012:

Firstly he started going to way of MTV, he’s become The Nostalgia Critic in name only. This problem began in October 2011 when he reviewed Exorcist II: The Heretic and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2; two films totally outside of his territory as there’s nothing nostalgic about them to the Critic’s target audience. He once had cut off date of 2000 (aside from the odd exception), however now it’s clear he’s run out of nostalgic movies and TV shows from his time frame and now reviews whatever he wants. He was at his best reviewing stupid and nonsensical Movies and TV shows from the 80’s and 90’s; that was the kind of material that worked best with his brand of humor.

His jokes are now forced beyond belief, an example? In his Top 11 F-Ups Part 3, he makes a joke about how people get the titles of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith mixed up. Not only is this joke shoehorned in out of nowhere, it’s creating a situation that doesn’t even exist. However it’s bad enough when a joke is unfunny and forced, it’s even worse if it goes on for ages. I don’t mind long jokes if they’re done well as Doug himself has done so in the past such as the dream sequence in the Junior review. For an example of a joke which goes on for an eternity; the “Allen” gag in his Jurassic Park III review. I was in a state of disbelief and non-existent laughter at just how long it lasts. I could make a huge list of the individual jokes in his new videos and why each one doesn’t work.

Other reviews are simply unpleasant, hateful and mean-spirited. In his review of Eight Crazy Nights, he had recurring gag throughout the video making fun of Happy Madison fans as lowest common denominator yokels. Regardless of how terrible Happy Madison films are, I did not start watching this guy’s videos in the first place to see such mean-spirited gags such as this.

The other major source of increasing annoyance is the lack of research he does for his videos. In his Patch Adams review he clearly has no knowledge of film’s subject matter, or in his Jurassic Park review, he criticizes the science present in the film and even has a sketch about it despite having no apparent knowledge of it. This brings me to what annoys me most of what the critic has now become. He’s become a self-righteous know-it-all jerk, and not in an intentional self-aware funny way. His review of Patch Adams is just one huge snob fest, while in his reviews of generally well-liked films (Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Matrix), he parades like his opinion is fact even though his criticisms on these films are just stupid nitpicking. There was once a time when watching a Nostalgia Critic review was simply fun, now it’s about having Doug Walker’s self-righteous, poorly researched, incorrect or simply illogical statements shoved down your throat. The dividing line between Doug and his fictional creation is becoming increasingly blurred; in his Top 11 F-Ups Part 3 he makes a list entry related to videos he made speaking as himself and not the Critic.

Since Demo Reel failed the people Doug has hired to appear in that show are now regulars on the revived series of The Nostalgia Citric, and none of them of any charisma; it makes me miss the days of Ma-ti. His new videos also look too sterile and washed out; what happened to that warm inviting yellow background?

He’s also stopped using creative title cards and instead now uses lazy photoshopped title cards; ironic considering in his Drew Struzan tribute he criticized movie studios for using lazy, uninspired photoshopped movie posters. Also, all these new title cards have an exaggerated facial expression from Doug which is increasingly obnoxious. I’m sure there are many other problems I could mention, but trying to watch his more recent videos for the sake of this review is excruciating with how bad they are.

Then there’s his NC: Editorials. These annoy me for two reasons. Firstly it’s the constant retreading of this mentality that you’re simply blinded by nostalgia if you dislike some aspect of contemporary popular culture. Secondly, they’re pretentious, giving an over important emphasis to questions no one was asking the answers to (Is It Right to Nitpick? Why Do We Love Stupid?), or questions which have obvious answers (Have we gone too deep into CGI?, Why Is Tom & Jerry Genius?).

I can’t comment on the current state of other TGWTG contributors as I gave up on the site as a whole long ago (expect Todd In the Shadows who is the only one I still watch), but I know some of the longtime members such as The Nostalgia Chick, Oancitizen, Phealous, and Obscurus Lupa are no longer there.

When writing this review I was wondering if it was a mistake to undertake as I much prefer to write reviews of stuff I love instead of contributing to an internet full of negativity, but this show used to mean so much to me and bring me such joy, now it does the complete opposite. I have witnessed two things in my life degrade from being something I loved so dearly to becoming one of the worst pieces of so-called “entertainment” I have ever seen - The Simpsons and The Nostalgia Critic. It’s hard to watch his old videos now without thinking about what a joke he is now. Congratulations Doug on destroying your own creation.