Favourite TV Characters (Now and Then)

From: Sherlock
Full Character Name: William Sherlock Scott Holmes
Nickname(s):freak, The virgin, Shezza
Occupation: Consulting detective.

Quotes:

- Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

- I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them.

- Shut up everybody, shut up! Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe, I’m trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you’re putting me off.

- Four serial suicides and now a note! It’s Christmas!

- Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side.

- I’m not a psychopath, Anderson. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

- Don't make people into heroes John. Heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one of them.

- Moriarty slipped up. The one person he thought didn't matter to me was the person who mattered the most.

From: Criminal Minds
Full Character Name: Dr. Spencer Reid
Nickname(s):Doc, Kid, Genius, Spence, Pretty Boy (by Morgan)
Occupation: FBI BAU Supervisory Special Agent

Quotes:

- Look at me. Without a gun I look like a teacher's assistant!

- I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute... Yes, I'm a genius.

- I was a twelve year old prodigy in a high school. Hotch, you kick like a nine year-old girl.

JJ: Cullen. The last name of the vampire family in Twilight.
Reid: What's Twilight?

- I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind.

From: The Mentalist
Full Character Name: Patrick Jane
Occupation: Independent Consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation

Quotes:

-Do you have any tea, because this could take a while.

-Cheap power suit, phone holster, blue tooth, large watch. Has petty tyrant written all over him.

-I know, I know. You don't know whether to hug me or to hit me

-Lisbon: You killed her husband.
-Jane: Well there you go. The ice is broken. We have something to talk about.

-Yeah, you guys go find out. I'll find the couch. Oh, there it is!

-My eyes aren't, ah, windows or doors, or even keys for that matter. I use them to look at things, and what I'm looking at right now is a big fat liar.

From: 24
Full Character Name: Chloe O'Brian
Occupation: Technical analyst at CTU

Quotes:

- You know what, Miss Driscoll? I'm really not in the mood to play the part of the scared student in the principal's office.

- OK... Jack, I just want you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, as a friend, I'm here for you. Not now, but later. When things calm down.

- When we find the nerve gas, and the alert level drops, we can have some chamomile tea and I'll tell you all my secrets, okay?

- This morning I woke up with a guy in my bed that I doubt I'm ever going to see again...and one of my best friends just died in front of me. So, I guess, I'm not that great.

- Leave me alone! There's no problem, the only problem is people like you bothering me when I'm trying to do my job!

From: Criminal Minds
Full Character Name: Penelope Garcia
Nickname(s):Baby Girl, Doll Face, Sweetness, Mama (by Morgan)
Occupation: FBI Technical Analyst Co-Communications Liaison

Quotes:

(answering phone): Penelope's house of "how may I save your ass today?"

(answering phone) Your friendly neighborhood Oracle of all things knowable and unknowable at your service.

Honey, I know you love me, but the prospect of you whirling around here trying to fix this is actually more frightening than getting shot.

Reid: Garcia, we’re sending you some cigarettes.
Garcia: Why not a flesh-eating virus? It’ll be faster and far less painful.

Hotchner: You’re a genius.
Garcia: You’re just saying that ‘cause it’s true.

From: Sherlock
Full Character Name: John Hamish Watson
Nickname(s):
Occupation: Doctor

Quotes:

- We solve crimes. I blog about it, he forgets his pants. I wouldn’t hold out to much hope.

- Anytime you want to include me... "No, I'm Sherlock Holmes. I always work alone because no one else can compete with my massive intellect!"

- We can't giggle, it's a crime scene. Stop it.

From: "Dexter"
Full Character Name: Dexter Morgan
Occupation: Blood Spatter Analyst

Quotes:

-Harry and Doris did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest.

-How is it I can kill people and feel no regret, but disappointing Rita makes me feel like the scum of the earth?

-If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart?

-In a land of predators, the lion never fears the jackal.

-Tonight's the night.

From: FRIENDS
Full Character Name: Chandler Muriel Bing
Occupation: Junior Advertising Copywriter

Quotes:
-I'm not really good at giving advices. Do you want a sarcastic comment?

-Donald Duck never wears pants. But when he gets out of the shower he ties a towel around his waist. I mean, what is up with that?

-No you didnt get me, its an electric drill, you get me you kill me!!

(People not listening to Chandler talking) - Shall I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil…

From: House M.D.
Full Character Name: Gregory House
Occupation: Head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

Quotes:
-Everybody lies.

-Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?

-Thing is, hope's for sissies.

-I take risks, sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.

- Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can't die with it.

If it works, we're right. If he dies, it was something else.

From: Lost
Full Character Name: Katherine Anne Austen
Occupation: Fugitive

Quotes:

(To Sawyer) And since when did you start calling me Kate?

Jack Shephard:... Are you with me?
Kate Austen: I have always been with you.

(To Sawyer) You try to be a pig, or does it come naturally?

You know when most people are lying and they can't look you in the eye? You do the exact opposite.

Well my big dangerous adventure for tonight is gonna be doing the dishes, in the ocean.

From: Lie To Me
Full Character Name: Cal Lightman
Occupation: Psychologist with an expertise in body language, predominantly microexpressions, and a founder of The Lightman Group

Quotes:

- Well we all pay for sex one way or another. At least hookers are honest about the price.

- You can believe whatever you want. It's what everybody else does.

- I guess we're all here, then: someone who wants the truth, someone who wants to be right, and us - the idiots in the middle.

- This is Ria Torres, she's gonna determine whether or not you're a lying son of a bitch.

Clara Musso: Seems there's a lot of chemistry there between you and your ex-wife.
Dr. Cal Lightman: Yeah, well there's a lot of chemistry in Chernobyl.

- Unpleasant truths, human mortality, a mustache on a woman - three things we'd all prefer to ignore.

From: Sherlock
Full Character Name: Molly Hooper
Occupation: Phatologist

Quotes:

- You look sad... when you think he can't see you... Are you okay? Don't just say you are, because I know what that means, looking sad when you think no one can see you.
Sherlock Holmes: *You* can see me.
- I don't count. What I'm trying to say is that, if there's anything I can do, anything you need, anything at all, you can have me.

From: Family Ties
Full Character Name: Alex P. Keaton
Occupation: Teaching assistant.

Quotes:

-Look, Mallory. I don't go out with girls who have an IQ lower than room temperature, or have contagious diseases, or friends of yours. And there's certainly some overlap in those categories.

-Skippy, remember when we were little kids, and I accidentally ran over you with my bicycle?... I drive a car now.

From: How I Met Your Mother
Full Character Name: Barnabus Stinson
Occupation: ...please

Quotes:

-It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

-You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that's not a good look for me!

-Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night.

-Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome"

-The camera loves me Robin - more than loves me the camera lusts me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights, and do me as I lie there with my eyes closed.

From: 24
Full Character Name: Jack Bauer
Occupation: Federal Agent at CTU (retired) Currently fugitive.

Quotes:

-I'm federal agent Jack Bauer. This is the longest day of my life.

-Your brother was responsible for dozens of deaths. You're now responsible for thousands. Trust me, I haven't even begun to enjoy myself.

-I have killed two people since midnight, I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe… maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.

-No games, Christopher. I don’t need another reason to put a bullet in your brain.

-I can make you die with more pain than you ever imagined.

From: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Full Character Name: Gilbert "Gil" Grissom
Occupation: CSI Level 3, Night Shift Supervisor (retired). Forensic Entomology Specialist.

Quotes:

-Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.

-There's too many forensics shows on TV.

-If you chase two rabbits, you end up losin' 'em both.

-I'm sure if there is something out there, looking down on us from somewhere else in the universe, they're wise enough to stay away from us.

-Well, someone once said, What we are never changes, but who we are ... never stops changing.

From: Moonlighting
Full Character Name: David Addison Jr.
Occupation: Private detective.

Quotes:

[to pregnant Maddie]
-Louder. You're shouting for two now.

-I don't know about you, but I for one, I for one, hit my knees every night and thank the man upstairs that there is a little bit of dishonesty left in this otherwise sunny world. You just think about that. That's all I have to say.

-Hi, could you please tell me where I can find Booth Three?
Woman Behind Counter: [Stares blankly back as if she can't see or hear him]
-Ah, I see. First living brain donor.

-Yea, verily, we are married merrily... though at first
warily, and unfortunately quite sterilely.

From: The Big Bang Theory
Full Character Name: Sheldon Lee Cooper
Occupation: Theoretical physicist, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D.

Quotes:

-Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She's interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work... and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.

-I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

-I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

-Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. BAZINGA!

-I would like to point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you are at the kiddie table of yours.

From: MacGyver
Full Character Name: Angus MacGyver
Occupation: Resourceful secret agent

Quotes:

-You know, you guys are missin' out on a great deal, if you kill me. I can help you. See, I'm kind of an expert with just about everything ...

-Sometimes I just hate it when I'm right.

-You sure seem to have of lot of information for not being involved.

-If this works, it'll keep us from getting' caught. If it doesn't, it'll keep us from gettin' old.

-You know, this may come as a shock to you, Jack, but most people go out and work for a living, instead of dragging their friends from one disaster to another.

From: The A-Team
Full Character Name: John 'Hannibal' Smith
Occupation: Lieutenant Colonel/Colonel (retired). A-Team leader.

Quotes:

-I love it when a plan comes together.

-Give me a minute, I'm good. Give me an hour, I'm great. Give me six months, I'm unbeatable.

-We want you and your whole pond of Peking ducks out of this neigborhood by two o' clock tomorrow. And pal, I don't mean 2.05.

-I believe that no matter how random things may appear, there's still a plan.

From: Lost
Full Character Name: James Ford
Occupation: Conman

Quotes:


-I've got enough food now to open a chain of mini marts. Hey, you think Sayid needs a job?

-Baby, I am tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery. I just got tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a genuine Iraqi. Of course I'm serious.

-You even made Locke take a swing at you. Hell, that's like getting Gandhi to beat his kids.

(to Locke)
-Okay, Tarzan. So now that you're back from your Blow-Up-Everything-That-Can-Get-Us-Off-The-Island tour, how 'bout you tell me why you joined up with the damn enemy?

-That would all be fascinating if I was listening to ya.

From: Criminal Minds
Full Character Name: Aaron Hotchner
Nickname: Hotch
Occupation: FBI BAU Supervisory Special Agent
FBI BAU Unit Chief

Quotes:

My team, let me tell you about my team. Agent Morgan fought to protect his identity from the very people who could save him. Why, because trust has to be earned, and there are very few people he truly trusts. Reid's intellect is a shield which protects him from his emotions, and at the moment his shield is under repair. Prentiss overcompensates because she doesn't yet feel she's part of the team, she needn't worry. Every day Agent Jareau fields dozens of requests for our team, and every night she goes home hoping she made the right choices. Garcia fills her office with figurines and color, to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens. And Agent Gideon in many ways is damned by his profound knowledge of others, which is why he shares so little of himself, yet he pours his heart into every case we handle.

- Sometimes what we don't do is every bit as powerful as what we do.

- I don't make deals, I'm the guy who hunts guys like you.