Odd Spin-Offs, Prequels and Sequels

Dunston Checks Out


Type: Sequel
Plot: After a group of terrorist zoologists hijack Dunston's hotel, he's left with only one choice... Check out, load up, and kick ass. The bananas and bullets fly as director John Woo stages every sequence with his textbook slow-motion flare.

Ford's Theatre


Type: Spin-Off
Plot: Were you blown away by Steven Spielberg's masterfully heartfelt ode to America's finest President? Well be prepared to be blown back. Todd Phillips directs this wacky road trip comedy, with Zach Galifianakis starring as John Wilkes Booth, attempting to make his way to Ford's Theatre to assasinate Lincoln, traveling with a monkey sidekick.

You're My National Treasure


Type: Spin-Off
Plot: When Abigail leaves him for another man, Benjamin Gates reflects on his life, leading him to the realization that he's only ever had one true love, The Declaration of Independence. After he steals it, he hops a plane to a non-extradition country to start their new lives together. But they soon find that they're differences may be too much to overcome. Critic's are calling it a cross between Raiders of the Lost Ark, Blue Valentine, and a porno, taking into account it's graphic sex scenes between Cage and, as he calls it, Indy.

Gimp Unchained


Type: Spin-Off
Plot: After he awakens from being knocked out, the Gimp finds that Zed and Maynard are dead. This sends him on a quest to avenge his fallen rapist friends.

Indiana Jones and the Escape from Shady Pines


Type: Sequel
Plot: Indy has squeazed his way through several tight situations, but this might just be his toughest escape yet... breaking out of his old age home. Along the way he reunites with his former sideick Short Round, who is now in his late thirties and visiting his grandmother, who Indy just happens to be sexing. He must also do battle against Clause von Kreif, the sadistic head nurse, who will stop at nothing to give him his medication and send him back to bed.

Road House Origins: Brad Wesley


Type: Prequel
Plot: Illustrates Brad Wesley's rise from poor Italian immagrant, to the man who brought J.C. Penney to Jasper.

The Room 2: The Awakening


Type: Sequel
Plot: After Johnny's death, Denny is crippled by the loss. After falling into a deep, drug-addicted depression, Denny somehow integrates himself into a witchcraft cult. Once he learns their practices, he decides that he will resurrect Johnny. He succeeds, and he and Johnny set out on a quest to get revenge on Lisa and Mark, now married and living in the room.

Bitch, My Money Where Be?


Type: Prequel
Plot: Everybody knows that Yoda is the greatest Jedi in the Galaxy. This is the story of how he became so. His tale of redemption; from pimp to jedi.

Taken 3: The Final Take


Type: Sequel
Plot: When his gardener's third cousin's ex wife's hairstylist's step-son is taken, Bryan Mills must jump back in the action one last time to save Diego, and Fox's third quarter.
Update: Taken 3 is in fact being made, hopefully using this plot. $$$$$
2nd Update: It would've been better with this plot.

The Woodsman: The Musical
The MPAA will not allow distribution of the poster under the citation "disturbing" and "distasteful".

Type: Spinoff/Sequel/Prequel/Remake/Shit
Plot: Have you ever wondered what Kevin Bacon fighting his sexual urges towards children through the power of song would look like? Well, wonder no more. This summer, run, like a child attempting to escape a predator's grasp, to your local cinemaplex to see this powerfull event. With hit songs like...
"Ice Cream Truck Blues"
"Hop In"
"My McDonald's Memories"
"Our Little Secret"
and the operatic...
"Hi, I'm Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC"

How Maya Got Her Groove Back


Type: Sequel
Plot: After spending over eight years hunting down Osama Bin Laden, Maya isn't exactly on the "dating scene". That all changes when she meets a kind, intelligent black man, played by, of coarse, Taye Diggs, and he opens up her eyes. Everything seems to be going smoothly, until Maya begins to suspect that he is an al-Qaeda sleeper cell. Will Maya "get her man", or get "her man?"