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Steve (Jack Black) maintains a lifelong obsession with mining, and he breaks into a local mine where he discovers an Orb and a Crystal. Combining the two creates a portal to the Overworld, where easily manipulated cubes comprise the landscape, buildings, and wildlife, and where Steve constructs a paradise for himself. However, a creature named Malgosha (Rachel House) imprisons Steve because she despises creativity, and she seeks to obtain the Orb, which would allow her to rule the Overworld. Luckily, Steve manages to send his dog back into the real world with the Orb and Crystal. Years later, the Orb and Crystal enter the collection of Garrett (Jason Momoa), who owns a video game store in Chuglass, Idaho. Meanwhile, after the death of their mother (oh, that old chestnut), Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and his big sister, Natalie (Emma Myers), move to Chuglass. During a visit to Garrett's store, Henry combines the Orb and Crystal, which leads them to Steve's mine. They are followed by Natalie and her, um, real estate agent, Dawn (Danielle Brooks), and all four are sucked into a portal to the Overworld. They soon meet Steve, and they try to defend themselves from Malgosha's Piglin army as they work to find a way home.
The creators behind A Minecraft Movie (including a staggering five credited screenwriters) are in tune with contemporary internet culture, designing the movie for a generation with short attention spans accustomed to YouTube skits and short-form TikTok content. The characters frequently speak in idiotic catchphrases that 10-year-old boys will now start using in school ("Release!", "Ninja roll!"), while recognisable meme sounds ("Let me tell you something!") and songs ("Lil Boo Thang") also make an appearance. There is no downtime between the consistent attempts at humour, and the result is the cinematic equivalent of being stuck on a plane with a screaming baby. It is not unreasonable to expect more from director Jared Hess, who demonstrated his talent for witty comedy in his 2004 film debut, Napoleon Dynamite. A Minecraft Movie is the polar opposite of Napoleon Dynamite, replacing clever comedy with broad silliness as the actors perpetually mug the camera for laughs.
It is difficult to care about anything that occurs throughout A Minecraft Movie, as it never feels like the characters are in any danger, and there are no meaty, emotionally cathartic character arcs. In fact, the movie does not even know who the main character is. Ostensibly, the protagonist is Steve, who is also the main character in the games. However, Steve does not grow or change throughout the movie, despite the movie opening with voiceover narration from Jack Black that reveals his character's background. Meanwhile, Garrett sometimes seems like the main character, but the story is not told from his point of view. A third potential protagonist emerges in Henry, but his presence has minimal bearing on the story, and you could be forgiven for forgetting he even exists. There's also a Token Black Woman(TM) who has no compelling reason to be in this story. It appears that several writers submitted various versions of the script with different main characters, only for the final draft to haphazardly combine them without proper consideration for the basic tenets of storytelling. The sole focus was on broadening audience appeal - Steve for older viewers, the cool-looking Garrett for teens and young adults, Henry to attract younger children, and Dawn for the diversity points - rather than creating a proper story.
Before the SAG-AFTRA strike in 2023, Matt Berry was set to play Steve, but he had to vacate the role due to his shifting schedule. Although Jack Black is no slouch, he cannot elevate the extraordinarily pedestrian screenplay, despite his best efforts. Additionally, moviegoers are growing tired of Black's shtick, as the actor appears to lack range and nuance. One cannot help but imagine how much better the movie would be with Berry leading the ensemble cast. Berry still has a voice-only role as a villager, but unfortunately, he does not make much of an impression. Jason Momoa fares better than Black, bringing wonderful energy to this beefy, jock-like retro game enthusiast. The movie's only laughs (there are not many) are thanks to Momoa, although Dawn's random alpaca also generates a couple of giggles. Elsewhere in the cast, Sebastian Hansen and Danielle Brooks are incredibly nondescript as Henry and Dawn, with their presence only taking away narrative focus. Emma Myers at least brings genuine charm to the role of Natalie, and she does her best with the slipshod screenplay. The voice acting cast is not much better, as Rachel House sounds completely uninterested in the role of the villainous Malgosha, reciting lines as if she were standing in a recording booth reading directly from a script.
Since Warner Bros. spent a considerable amount of money bringing A Minecraft Movie to the big screen, it is a competent and slick blockbuster with colourful production design and top-notch digital effects that bring this videogame world to vivid life. The movie also attempts to convey a message about the importance of creativity, but the message is somewhat muddled, and The LEGO Movie already explored the same themes over a decade ago in a far more effective and poignant manner. A Minecraft Movie is mindless, hackneyed slop, and it is impossible to recommend that anybody waste their time on it. It's not even ironically enjoyable - it's just soulless, corporatised filmmaking. For many adolescent boys, A Minecraft Movie likely represents a culturally significant moment due to its rampant popularity, and the internet memes and unruly cinema behaviour it generated. But children deserve better.
3.7/10
