A guide to ruining a cult favourite...

In the popular Hollywood guide to making a quick buck, the word "sequel" is one that ranks quite highly in the lexicon. Methinks it was Disney that shamelessly introduced the breed of direct-to-DVD sequels with ludicrous follow-ups to The Lion King and Aladdin that continued to assault the shelves of DVD retailers. Before long the DTD breed expanded to the live-action arena. Victims of this trend included: Bring It On (the first film was already a tragedy, though), American Pie, Starship Troopers, and even The Scorpion King (funny thing is...the DTD sequel surpassed the original). The much-awaited, much-delayed and much-rumoured sequel to Joel Schumacher's 1987 hit The Lost Boys was next to join the ranks of the aforementioned direct-to-DVD realm. The sequel was in development hell for 21 years. (The much-anticipated and delayed fourth Indiana Jones adventure was only in development hell for 19 years!)

Schumacher's The Lost Boys has risen to cult status over the years with many dedicated fans still enjoying the nostalgia of the romp. This original film (despite being dated and featuring frightening haircuts) was fun and entertaining. Rumours of a sequel circulated for decades. Apparently one of these proposed productions was tentatively entitled The Lost Girls. While that concept had a stake driven through its heart before getting the chance to crawl out of its coffin, the dream at long last became a reality with 2008's Lost Boys: The Tribe. Unfortunately, sometimes it really isn't a good idea to reawaken sleeping monsters from their slumber.

Even after 21 long years of development, Lost Boys: The Tribe is a pale and lifeless imitation of its former self. The loyal fans of Schumacher's The Lost Boys wanted to experience a fun and enjoyable continuation of the saga, yet this sequel ended up being a fundamental remake that reinvented the legacy for a more modern audience. Lost Boys: The Tribe strived to pay homage to the original film with repeated lines, repeated scenes and a small amount of returning characters. But the film fails on almost every level. Instead of a fun vampire romp with a few amusing one-liners and a slight touch of comedy, (I must admit the original Lost Boys wasn't as funny as people made it out to be, but it was worth a chortle or two) this sequel is darker in tone and without any charms. The young teen actors are replaced with actors over 20 trying to pass off as teens (a 17-year-old character is played by an actress who's 28). One of my criticisms of the first film was the lack of a darker tone, as well as the presence of annoying young teens. Therefore the sequel fixing these criticisms could have been a good move...but this sequel is just too damn ludicrous, too vulgar and too bloody sleazy! This is merely The Lost Boys given an iffy and questionable 21st century makeover.

The story finds two teenagers (Hilgenbrinck and Reeser) moving to the seaside village of Luna Bay, California after their parental units died in a car crash. In a financial crisis they move in with their aunt (who ends up charging them rent for their stay). Before long, the two are thrust into the collective grasp of several suave vampires who spend most of their free time playing video games and surfing in the moonlight. If you've seen The Lost Boys, chances are you know exactly where this train is headed: one sibling is simply taken by the charms of the head vampire (Kiefer Sutherland's younger half-brother Angus plays this role), while the other sibling teams with vampire hunter Edgar Frog (Feldman).

Interestingly, while this is just a modern re-imagining of The Lost Boys, this is also an hour of nostalgia. According to a comic series and a few theories, the two main characters are the offspring of Michael and Star from the first film. After all, these new main characters have the same last name. It seems a little too coincidental to me that the same family would endure the same adventure twice. Also, Feldman's Edgar Frog is up to his usual tricks. At least 5 times he mentions his brother (we presume his brother has become a vampire...but it's really vague), and there are a few lines from the first film that he recites again here. The film is driven to the point of becoming a self-parody when the DVD of The Goonies is displayed by one of the characters.

But the failure of this film is hardly surprising. I mean, the talent we're looking at is the furthest thing from impressive. Dodgy director P.J. Pesce previously worked on Sniper 3 and From Dusk Till Dawn 3. With Lost Boys: The Tribe, another title has been added to the list of cinematic mistakes he has partaken in.
Screenwriter Hans Rodionoff is no stranger to garbage. Those who've had the regrettable pleasure of suffering through National Lampoon's Bag Boy should already be familiar with this guy's talent of selling vomit to bulimics. Rodionoff's script for Lost Boys: The Tribe is a hodgepodge of tricks and gimmicks gleaned from various other movies. As a result, there ain't a scrap of originality, nor is there an inspired idea anywhere throughout the entire flick. This is basically a mere carbon copy of the first film. I experienced severe déjà vu as the story unfolded. It genuinely feels like Rodionoff just changed the character names of the first film before stripping away most of the pizzazz and replacing it with excessive bloodshed, profanity, nudity, and sexual situations. Normally I have no problem with any of the above. But all this content is present for the sake of being present. The first dialogue scene alone contains about 20 uses of the word "fuck" and its derivatives before moving onto a brutal beheading that seems entirely unnecessary. The evidence of a plot soon dissipates as the script moves through too many laboured contrivances. Meanwhile the characters are paper-thin and repugnant. Needless to say, the entire bloated affair is as original as a pimple on prom night. In a nutshell: this is Hack Writing 101.

The actors do little to help alleviate the pain associated with the horrible script. Hilgenbrinck and Reeser possess the spark and allure of Disney Channel has-beens. Their emotionless faces and contrived line deliveries are the type we'd usually witness on a commercial advertising the newest product for impotent men. This leaves their vampiric co-stars to chew scenery amid failed attempts at macho posturing.
On the other hand Corey Feldman appears rather eager to reprise his role of Edgar Frog. He is, without a doubt, the best part of the whole flick. Unfortunately, that's really not saying too much. Anyway, Feldman plays with his trademark toys and disperses a few worthy one-liners. His unnaturally deep voice is a bit of a problem; nevertheless he seems committed to giving his character something worthwhile. It's a shame he was so underused. If only this film just focused on the escapades of Edgar Frog, as that would have at least been fun.
Oh, and just for the record, there's a good reason why Angus Sutherland isn't as famous as his older half-brother (who was the head vampire in the original). Angus is a greasy blank slate, preferring to convey his woozy seductive qualities as though he was blitzed on wine coolers. It may be cute casting to put Kiefer Sutherland's half-brother in virtually the same role, but young Angus isn't an effective menace and he's also a barely alert actor.
Then there's Corey Haim...kinda. There's a scene during the end credits that brings back Haim's character. He wasn't given a bigger role in the film due to a number of difficulties. The two Coreys (as in Haim and Feldman) were great friends for a long time...but they apparently bitterly hate each other now.

For what it's worth, Lost Boys: The Tribe does provide a bit of good entertainment and it'll pass the time on a rainy evening. But that's the furthest thing from an enthusiastic praise. A fundamental remake of a cult classic was not a wise move. With an intolerable cast (Feldman is the sole exception to this wide-ranging criticism), rotten visuals (suffering the usual MTV syndrome that likewise plagued the original film), and a soundtrack that will make you hate the very concept of music - Lost Boys: The Tribe is an awful movie. There's simply no imagination being displayed here at all! I was not an avid fan of the original Lost Boys, but every second of this sequel's bumbling uselessness made me want to embrace Joel Schumacher's film even tighter.

If talent like this is producing rubbish sequels to hit films, I should sign up and make my mark. Maybe I'll pen a script for Fight Club 2: More Soap and Fighting. Hold on...I'll have to find out whether Edward Norton has a half-brother who wants to try his hand at acting (it's the thought that counts...skill is not a requirement).

2.8/10