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"I've missed you!"
All my worst fears were confirmed when I took my seat in the cinema to watch this ineffective, appalling horror film. Prom Night firmly takes the title of the worst film of 2008 so far; this remake of the classic slasher film is every bit as horrible as anticipated.
The name-only remake is just about some teenager who is being stalked by some insane psycho who's obsessed with her. On her prom night this psycho turns up and starts killing her friends.
So what makes this one so horrible? Gee, where should I start...
First of all, the film was toned down to a PG-13 in America so it will be a hit at the box office (Sadly, it currently is). But PG-13 means no gore, no sex, no profanity and tame horror scenes. Instead of gore, we're shown tiny amount of blood spatter that doesn't even look realistic (The blood all over the knife didn't look natural at all). This is a slasher movie. How can a slasher film be considered good when the violence is toned down?!
The original also contains drug use and sex. None of that here. The word 'sex' isn't even said. Instead they just hint at it. Top points for realism here! I am a teenager and I know it as a fact that teens use explicit sexual dialogue in everyday life.
And no profanity? There's mild use of the word 'shit' but nothing else. Another perfect way to portray teenagers; exactly what they aren't.
Secondly, the script was woeful. Dialogue was laughable and cheesy even for the genre. It was all so by-the-book. When there are mysterious noises the characters just venture over and ask "Hello?" or "Is anybody there?" into the darkness. On top of this the characters were stupid, illogically developed and could be out-witted by a stuffed animal. An example of this? They hear the killer in on the loose. Do the police remove the teenage girl in trouble? Nope. Instead they let her continue her prom night in fear of messing it up. Well isn't that intelligent. A prom night would mean nothing if the girl in question winds up dead. And of course when the hunt is on they just have to bring in the S.W.A.T. unit. I mean one man with a knife...now there's a massive threat. Let's pull every available officer into this situation to hunt the guy. And of course S.W.A.T. team turn up armed with massive machine guns.
The scares occur exactly when we expect them to. There were no surprise scares at all. At least the scares were hilarious.
Thirdly, the acting was terrible. The so-called teenagers look like they're in their mid-to-late twenties! The dialogue was already bad enough, but the actors made it sound even worse. There was no intensity while delivering dialogue, and there was no evidence of people actually acting. No more needs to be said on this issue.
Finally, I couldn't believe how badly the film was made. The editing was horrible and the directing was terrible. In the cinema where I was, there were sheer roars of laughter when it was meant to be scary. The editing was slow and ineffective. The music makes the film even more predictable.
Prom Night is a terrible movie. I never thought I'd ever say this...but I wish Michael Bay's company commissioned this remake because then it would have at least contained some actual gore as opposed to this teen-friendly flick that was more of a comedy than a horror.
1/10
