The Cottage Reviews

When two brothers in need of money kidnap a girl who’s family has money, the cottage is the absolute worst place for them to go; to bad they won’t know until once they get there how truly bad it is. Showing that not every movie has to have a hero to make it memorable, but just some scenes of laughter and dismemberment will more than suffice. David and his brother Peter are running out of options in a cottage by a farm in a strange town after being discovered by they’re hostage and proven to be less than sufficient thieves and criminals. When the plans goes even worse than could be imagined and the kidnap victim (Tracy)’s step brother shows up with nothing but a bag of tissues, desperation kicks into high gear and David takes a drive into town to use the phone. After meeting just about an entire town of strangers (fronted by Hellraiser’s own Doug Bradley), he heads back to the cottage with a bunch of warnings from the people; when the REAL trouble begins. Finding a farm while being taken over by the hostage herself, Peter and Tracey run into trouble they did NOT see coming. Not a whole lot of backstory was added to this part of the movie which left me confused about why exactly this madman came to be so vicious, but it seems he has a soft spot for wedding pictures which could be him and his wife; before some accident left him alone and disfigured. After about 30 minutes of film, I almost began to wonder if this was going to be just a comedy about kidnapping gone wrong, much like an English version of Screwed, but before I knew it, the man on the DVD cover made his appearance and the slaughter began. Every scene of death was not only a surprise, but original in it’s own way; no one leaves this film unharmed. Both aspects of the film were awesome and kept me entertained throughout, and I was pleased for sure with how it ended. This movie was an absolute delight.

David: I found the other part of your foot.
Peter: o yea? what did you do with it?
David: i lost it, sorry.