Hitch Reviews

There was a time when the box-office was ruled by movie stars. During the last decade, there were however only 3 stars who were still a guarantee of box-office success (Johnny Depp, Will Smith and Adam Sandler) but those days are gone as well. Indeed, in 2013 and 2014, all their movies flopped (‘Transcendence’, ‘The Lone Ranger’, ‘After Earth’, ‘Blended’, ‘That’s my boy’). Anyway, 10 years ago, Will Smith was pretty much the box-office king and pretty much everything he touched became gold at the time. Can you imagine if he would release a romantic-comedy today? I’m pretty sure it would be a flop. Back then, it was pretty successful though and I thought it was not bad at all. Indeed, one thing I have always enjoyed with Will Smith is the way he tackles some mainstream genres (here, the rom-com) but manages to give it an interesting twist. I mean, this movie is actually nothing amazing whatsoever, it remains way too faithful to the formula, but I actually liked the concept and Will Smith was really charismatic. Back in those days, Kevin James was not yet another annoying Sandler’s sidekick and he was actually bearable here. To conclude, even though it didn’t grow very well, I thought it was a decent romantic-comedy and it is worth a look, especially if you like the genre.

Hitch just doesn't work. Plain and simple. The cast tries hard (for the most part), but this film just simply isn't funny. Featuring a bloated run time of nearly 2 hours, I laughed only once or twice. Yes, Hitch is that despicable kind of movie; a comedy that's not funny. And worse still, it's also absurdly predictable. Formula, formula, formula, and not a single unique character, gag, or plot point. If it wasn't for the big name cast, I might've assumed this was a made-for-TV film.

The paper-thin plot (that is stretched to the breaking point) is about a dating adviser named Alex Hitchens (though he goes by Hitch). While Hitch has matched many people up with their perfect partner, Hitch himself has not had a long-running relationship. So Hitch finally hooks up with a girl, though unfortunate events may destroy his relationship, and his reputation.

You want cheesy pick-up lines? You got it. You want slapstick? You got it. You want kicks to the groin? Heck, we've got that too. But you want laughs? Good luck buddy, nothing here but groans.

And the story is so predictable, I almost felt like I had seen this film before. This film is also ridiculously cheesy, as it tries to make the ending as perfect and happy as possible.

I haven't even mentioned the product placement, pacing issues, and some of the most clumsy dialogue I've ever heard in a romance film. I know this is a chick flick, but come on! Even the most easily moved individuals won't be able to resist a few eye rolls.

The cast, however, seems very committed. Will Smith gives it his all as Hitch, while Kevin James is very energetic as Albert Brennaman. The actors are so into their roles, we almost want to believe what they're saying is actually funny. But no amount of acting could ever fool the audience into believing this script is any good. Also, Eva Mendes is entirely bland as Hitch's love interest Sara Melas (though the character itself is fairly bland too).

Surprisingly, the score by George Fenton is pretty decent. Yes, it feels very dated. And the more sentimental bits are cliched and forgettable. But there is some really fun music and piano pieces throughout, so the score was a pleasant surprise.

As I watched Hitch, I just shook my head in amazement. Insulting doesn't even begin to describe the kind of immature "humor" is on display here. These are the kind of gags I might expect in a TV show on the Disney Channel. Why must Hollywood throw us all of this garbage and expect us to eat it and like it? I like to see some actual effort and creativity in the films I watch!

Staring at the screen in utter disgust, I began wondering how anyone could possibly find this film funny. And yet, 3 of my friends were laughing their heads off as they watched Hitch, repeating lines they found amusing (which was nearly all of them). Sigh. Looks like Hollywood wins again.

Strange to see Will Smith in anything other than an action summer blockbuster, but in this chick-flick comedy Smith trades in his acting talent for sappy romance. The ending is awful, but overall it was pretty entertaining and funny.