Top 10 worst movies 2023

Notes: To be honest, I wish that the very first ‘Spy Kids’ had turned out to be a huge box-office flop when it was released because Rodriguez would have hopefully dropped the concept right away back then. Seriously, the guy has spent pretty much half of his career making such kids flicks which are just terrible and this new installment was not an exception, I’m afraid. The only interesting idea was the fact that spies have to lie all the time, that’s basically part of the job, but, in this case, how do you raise some children by telling them to be honest and to always tell the truth? I actually liked this paradox but, unfortunately, it was only quickly mentioned by one of the characters at some point but they really did nothing with that after all. The other thing that I enjoyed was that Gina Rodriguez not only did look lovely but she was pretty badass and she also managed to be a convincing mother at the same time. Unfortunately, all the other characters involved were just so underwhelming. I mean, Zachary Levi was not awful but he did really nothing interesting with his character at all. Even more problematic was the fact that, once again, they picked up some of the worst children actors I have seen. Seriously, they were both rather cringe-inducing to behold and it is in fact very often the case in Rodriguez’s kid flicks. Seriously, I’m rather flabbergasted that some critics actually praised these kids for their work on this movie.

Notes: In fact, it was a sequel from a movie I never saw which was based on a comic-book I never read but I don't think that my lack of familiarity with the material was the reason why I didn't like this movie at all. But how did I end up watching the damned thing in the first place? Well, it's fairly simple, I was on holiday in France, visiting my relatives, but the weather had been terrible the whole week so, instead of staying (again) inside, I decided to bring the kids to the movie theater. Since almost all foreign movies are dubbed in French, I decided to watch at least a French movie (I can't stand dubbed movies). On the other hand, maybe I should have chosen 'Yannick' by Quentin Dupieux but I'm not sure if my nephew and niece would have been really pleased with Dupieux's usually weird movies. Anyway, coming back to our main feature, well, the damned thing was definitely lame, I'm afraid. Indeed, the plot was completely predictable and tedious and the jokes were usually rather pathetic. Concerning the cast, they didn't even bring back the same boy to play the main character but, at least, this new kid did seem slightly more charismatic than his predecessor. Still, I can't say I was really impressed by his acting skills but, on the other hand, I have to admit that he wasn't helped with the poor material he was provided.

Notes: First of all, it didn’t strike me before but Adam Sandler basically gave here his own cheap spin on the ‘Knives Out’ concept but, on the other hand, you might argue that both franchises started in 2019 so it was probably not on purpose. Anyway, even if it was far from being one of the worst movies I have seen starring Sandler, it was still pretty weak though. At least, it wasn’t worse than the first installment, I’ll give you that. In fact, I have to admit that, this time around, Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston were now actually a convincing couple which wasn’t really the case the first time around. Unfortunately, it was probably the only thing that really worked in this movie. Indeed, the characters were just boring and poorly developed and the story was hardly entertaining. In fact, I have to admit that it wasn’t such a bad idea to have them becoming private detectives, it actually made sense following the events of the previous movie, and to have them being very bad at this job seemed to be a no-brainer. However, once again, the writing was just so lazy and the makers did really nothing interesting and/or funny with this concept. I mean, somehow, they still managed to crack the case way too easily and their incompetence was never properly exploited. Seriously, it is the kind of movie you are actually glad that they last only 90 mins because it is over before it really starts to get on your nerves.

Notes: Basically, it strongly reminded me of 'The Holiday', another romantic comedy with a decent reputation which already didn't impress me at the time. The tricky thing with this movie is that it needed to convince the viewers that the two leads were completely in love with each other without, first, showing how they actually fell in love and, second, without having them actually spending some time with each other except on the phone and face-timing. Well, in my opinion, it wasn't really convincing, that's for sure. I mean, I do believe that Ashton Kutcher's character was actually in love, they were enough hints, but I don't really know why. For Reese Witherspoon's character, it was even worse though. Indeed, through the whole thing, there was not a single moment during which she gave the impression that she was actually in love with her old friend. In fact, it was even worse, it seems that she was completely into another guy who was attractive, charming, rich and shared the same interests. However, suddenly, during the 3rd act, she dumped this other guy when she found out that Peter was actually in love with her and not because of her own feelings which was rather awkward. At least, even though Ashton Kutcher is still a terribly bland actor, Reese Witherspoon is still so charming and charismatic after all these years. I also love the fact that she looks so lovely and, yet, at the same, she still is convincing as a middle-aged woman without plastic surgery, heavy use of a personal trainer or starving herself.

Notes: From all the ‘blockbusters’ released by Netflix, it is probably the most disappointing I have seen so far, I’m afraid. I mean, Gal Gadot was as usual so charismatic, she was pretty badass and it was just neat to have her playing the lead in an action flick like this one. Unfortunately, she was pretty much the only thing that did work in this movie though. Seriously, the whole ‘Charter’ concept was just so tedious. Sure, I understand that it was supposed to be super fancy and high-tech but it looked actually rather lame but, above all, what was the added value after all? I’m fairly convinced that, without it, it could have been a fine gritty action flick. Obviously, the whole point was to have Gal Gadot’s playing a double-agent which was not a bad idea but why would you go for a fake and completely far-fetched organization like this one? To make things worse, they also gave us another completely lame twist revealing that Jamie Dornan’s character was the bad guy after all. Seriously, it has been a while since I have seen a movie featuring such completely tedious and uninteresting twists. You could also blame Dornan but the main issue was that his character was just weak, in fact, except for Rachel Stone, none of the characters involved was interesting at all.

Notes: In spite of its rather convoluted title, this movie did sound promising. Indeed, it could have been a really cool Mission Impossible-like action flick with Statham leading a team of expert spies with some awesome action scenes and some cracking signature dialogues by Ritchie. Well, eventually, I was surprised by how underwhelming this movie actually turned out to be. Above all, the damned thing was just so flat, seriously, there was barely no pulse whatsoever. It also felt and looked rather cheap. I mean, why were there only 2 agents in this spy team? At least, Aubrey Plaza was fine, even if she was not given enough to do but Bugzy Malone who apparently barely had any acting experience was rather dull. But, that was basically the whole issue, the action scenes, the characters, the story, the dialogues, everything was just so boring. Eventually, the only thing that stood out was the weird relationship between Danny Francesco (played by Josh Harnett) and Greg Simmonds (played by Hugh Grant who basically stole the show every time he was on the screen). Indeed, somehow, these two men got along so well, it was actually quite fun to watch but it was just a tiny bit in this movie which was supposed to be actually focusing on Jason Statham who gave here a completely forgettable performance. Compared to this movie, 'The Man from U.N.C.LE' was actually pretty much a masterpiece after all.

Notes: At least, this movie couldn’t possibly be worse than ‘Spy Kids: Armageddon’, that was my first thought. Well, even though it was indeed not worse, it wasn’t really much better either, I’m afraid. It’s too bad because it was something Rodriguez had apparently been working on for about 20 years and I have to admit that it did have some potential. Indeed, there were some scenes which did feel sometimes like an episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’ which was neat. However, it was pretty obvious that such a vibe was never what they attempted to do with this movie. Furthermore, in spite of some decent effort from Affleck, pretty much everything else was rather underwhelming with this movie. The first thing that you have to let go while watching this movie is that it didn’t seem to make much sense that a ‘hypnotic’ could take control of someone pretty much instantly, with barely any contact whatsoever. Eventually, it was basically the logic in this movie and, even if it was never really convincing, it didn’t really bother me that much. However, the concept was still rather half-baked and there were also too many twists which were obviously added to make this movie more complex than it was. In fact, I read some comments from some guy on the internet who described this movie as some kind of B feature which tried to emulate Christophe Nolan’s style and I think that this description was indeed pretty accurate.

Notes: To be honest, I don’t think it deserved such harsh critics though as I don’t think it was such a disaster after all. Indeed, I always had a weak spot for such epic Sci-Fi adventures and the damned thing was definitely ambitious. Still, even if I don’t think that it was really abysmal, it was still not good either though. I mean, it was visually not bad and it actually had some potential but, at the end of the day, I’m afraid most of it didn’t work. The most frustrating thing was probably the fact that, even though this first part was more than 2 hrs long, the story still felt curiously empty. Another issue was the fact that the characters were either poorly developed or barely entertaining or probably a combination of the two. A perfect example would be Gunnar. Indeed, the idea of a simple farmer getting involved in some intergalactic rebellion against a ruthless seemingly almighty empire was actually pretty cool but, unfortunately, Michiel Huisman did nothing interesting with this character. In fact, it was in fact exactly what he did, nothing, as he looked stunned and wooden through the whole duration. However, the worst of the bunch was probably Sofia Boutella though. Indeed, as long as she didn’t say anything, she was quite charismatic and badass but, as soon as she was speaking, it was seriously rather cringe-inducing. Sure, she wasn’t helped by the rather pathetic dialogues she was provided with and, in the contrary to the rest of the cast, she basically had to carry the whole thing on her shoulders but still. It is too bad because the fact that Netflix is still willing to put so much money in something new should be celebrated but the damned thing felt like a huge waste.

Notes: To be honest, even though I did see 'The Meg', I have to admit that I barely remember it. Anyway, how was this sequel? Well, unfortunately, the first half turned out to be such a drag and, at some point, I was worried that this movie would turn out to be really lame after all. Basically, it started out as some kind of cheap 'Jurassic Park' ripp-off but, when they started to go deep in the sea, it was probably even worse. Indeed, it was just so dark so you barely could see anything but, above all, the whole survival thing was just so generic and tedious. However, at some point, when they finally got out of the water and started to make some damages to this Fun Island, they suddenly completely changed the tone and, somehow, it actually started to work. Even though Jason Statham was apparently not pleased with this lighter tone, I thought it was more than welcome though. Indeed, from this point on, it became really silly and over-the-top and, in my opinion, it was a much better approach for a B monster feature like this one instead of what they tried to do in the self-serious first part. As a result, you get some huge monsters fighting each other and also Jason Statham killing not one but several megalodons in the most ridiculous ways you could possibly imagine. It's too bad that they didn't handle the whole movie this way and this change of tone was bewildering and rather jarring.

Notes: To be honest, I thought it was a rather difficult to judge the damned thing after all. Sure, it was another completely useless live-action remake from Disney, there was also the issue that I have seen already so many versions of this story and the fact they did nothing really interesting with it this time around certainly didn’t help. Basically, the first act was so faithful to the classic animated Disney feature and, while it was pretty to look at, it felt rather pointless. In the second act, they finally tried to give their own spin on this timeless tale by focusing on Peter Pan and Captain Hook’s relationship in the past which wasn’t necessarily a bad idea but it was also never really dazzling, I’m afraid. Finally, another thing that really bothered me was the fact that, even though Alexander Molony did look fine, he was by far the most underwhelming Peter Pan I have ever seen. So, indeed, the damned thing was pretty weak and even seriously tedious to be behold and, yet, I still don’t think it deserved so much hatred though. Indeed, visually, it was fine, Jude Law was pretty good as Captain Hook and it was probably the best depiction of Tiger Lily I have seen so far.