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My Top 10 Least Favourite Movies of 2017
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39
5.3
5.6
I think this movie might hold a record: I immediately despised the main characters literally the moment I saw them! So at first, I was fully supporting the stranger on the phone who was tormenting them; they deserved it. Until the kidnapped parents were brought in, that is: I draw the line at endangering innocents. The film at least tries to buck the trend of horror characters acting stupidly โ our "heroes" do the sensible things almost immediately โ but that also becomes the film's undoing, as the tricks the villain pulls get to the point of absurdity. Ultimately, it's just another disposable horror flick.
MaxL's rating:
618
5.7
6.3
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
I never read the manga, so my mindset here is simply comparing one movie to another. Even though the original 1995 film didn't wow me like it did so many other people (though don't get me wrong: I still liked it), I found this remake to be an insult to its predecessor regardless. It's dull, uninspired, and it comes across like a remake of the wrong movie: the plot is literally just RoboCop! Any similarities to Ghost in the Shell are purely superficial ones, almost like those scenes were added in as an afterthought, and everything is so much smaller and less epic too.
MaxL's rating:
395
4.7
5.4
The familiar Imhotep is replaced with Princess Ahmanet, which makes this a remake in name only. It's bad enough that it's a blustering action romp that races along at a frustrating breakneck speed, and that it's arrogant enough to blatantly advertise the rest of the Dark Universe in what's supposed to be the first movie, even adding it to the opening logo. But this movie's biggest problem is that it shoots itself in the foot right off the bat, because Ahmanet's motivation is really, really stupid; I mean, talk about overkill! I foresee an early exit for Universal's Dark Universe if this is its foundation!
MaxL's rating:
101
3.5
4.2
The Bye Bye Man (2017)
This is exactly the kind of horror film that makes January a good time to avoid movies. As I was watching it, I was trying to be fair, because the bland camerawork and performances gave it the impression of an amateur production. That doesn't excuse the shoddy script, though, which tries and fails to be a clever mind trip. At times, the acting is so bad it beggars belief โ not helped by the ludicrous dialogue the actors are forced to say. On top of that, the characters are boring, the story is boring, the attempts at scares are boring โ it's just boring all around.
MaxL's rating:
74
4.8
5.6
Again, the key word to describe this one is "boring". It's so overwhelmingly dull that it's like the movie itself is aware of how derivative it is. It's about a corrupt cop trying to rescue his kidnapped son from the mob. It's nothing but a bundle of clichรฉs, and everyone on the cast and crew seems aware of it; none of the actors look invested, and the direction has no spark whatsoever. Besides, I find it impossible to root for a main character who pulls something as desperate as replacing the criminals' cocaine with sugar, as if they'd buy that even for a second!
MaxL's rating:
725
6
7.1
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
I know I'll get some flak for this one, but this movie's popularity is nothing short of sickening to me! Copying the original almost word for word is one of the absolute worst things a remake can do, because it renders itself entirely pointless. Just watch the original animated version instead; it's the exact same movie, but done a million times better! The few changes the remake does attempt just end up working against it, particularly that magic book. While obviously not the worst movie of the year, I think I can safely say that it's the most pointless. Like, this movie should not exist!
MaxL's rating:
299
7.5
7.6
Another movie that I feel like I'm alone in despising, so let me explain myself. Quite simply, I've seldom hated a cast of characters this much! The kids are loud, obnoxious hellions who had me screaming, "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" within minutes, and the mother is a truly despicable human being who deserves every beatdown that will come her way. The slice-of-life narrative style makes it even worse: it's clearly relying on the characters themselves to hold your interest, but it just makes me feel inescapably stuck with people I can't stand. And don't even get me started on the ending!
MaxL's rating:
65
5.3
6.6
The Book of Henry (2017)
This is another one that seems like it was purpose-made just to annoy me. The characters immediately struck me as purely fictional constructs (and irritating ones, at that) utterly devoid of anything grounded or relatable. The same goes for the movie itself, and yet it still believes it has the right to address the very real issue of child abuse. But I place this higher than The Florida Project because, on top of finding a new way to irritate me at almost every turn, it's completely nonsensical too. The plot gets increasingly preposterous, and makes the characters even less likable as it progresses.
MaxL's rating:
250
4.3
5.2
Yeah, anyone who knows me saw this one coming from a mile away! I really thought I'd be numb to this abysmal series by now, but Michael Bay did everything in his power to make this instalment as annoying as possible! The humour is intolerable, the pacing is so fast it has no regard whatsoever for letting any scene sink in, and it's still plagued by everything I detest about Michael Bay's work: the god-awful performances, the incompetent, restless camerawork and the headache-inducing editing. Still, to its credit, at least the climax finally gives us something other than a tiresome hour-long battle in the city.
MaxL's rating:
335
5.8
6.7
God, where do I start with this one? Its tone is bombastic and abrasive, so the sequences told in a nonlinear fashion, clearly trying to look clever, just come off as conceited and egotistical. In fact, the storytelling as a whole is confusing and downright nonsensical. It's also barely recognisable as Arthurian lore; there's hardly anything that novices like me can recognise. No Lancelot, no Guinevere, no Morgan le Fayโฆ even Merlin is barely mentioned. Come to think of it, it's no wonder he got tossed aside: giving Arthur mage-like abilities kind of renders Merlin useless in a way. But the main reason I'm putting this at number one is because it's the only movie on the list that does absolutely nothing right from a storytelling or filmmaking perspective. Other movies this year might have had more annoying elements, but this is the only one that gave me no enjoyment whatsoever โ just endless frustration โ which is why I can easily declare it the worst movie of 2017.
MaxL's rating:
It's that time of year again: the time when I look back on the year that's passed and pick out the high and low points of its movie output. This is the seventh time I've done a year-end pair of lists like this.
If you're not familiar with the criteria I set myself, I judge a movie's release date according to its first public release listed on IMDb. So movies that premiered at film festivals in an earlier year but weren't released to the public until 2017 are still applicable in my book. Another thing to consider is that movies like La La Land and Moonlight were released early in 2017 in my country despite coming out in the US the previous year. That doesn't count; I feel like including cases like that would be cheating. Keep in mind also that, obviously, I can't include movies I haven't seen, because that simply wouldn't be fair.
Let's get the ones I didn't like out of the way first. Keep in mind, this is all my own opinion, so you're probably not going to agree with all of my picks. I do have some very popular movies on my worst list, after all. But that just goes to show why art, especially film, is so subjective: there's no telling how a certain piece of entertainment will rub off on a particular person.
Let me also re-emphasise the point that this is just going by what I've actually seen. While I do try to see as many bad movies as possible just for the sake of this list, there are some reputedly awful 2017 movies that I've been able to avoid. For example, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, Fifty Shades Darker, Death Note, Flatliners, The Emoji Movie, The Dark Tower, CHIPS, Unforgettable, Hangman, Just Getting Started and Rings.
Okay, let's get to it. These are the ten movies this year that I found to be the hardest to sit through.
Runners-up:
Baywatch
Geostorm
John Wick: Chapter 2
Mother!
The Snowman
The Wall
If you're not familiar with the criteria I set myself, I judge a movie's release date according to its first public release listed on IMDb. So movies that premiered at film festivals in an earlier year but weren't released to the public until 2017 are still applicable in my book. Another thing to consider is that movies like La La Land and Moonlight were released early in 2017 in my country despite coming out in the US the previous year. That doesn't count; I feel like including cases like that would be cheating. Keep in mind also that, obviously, I can't include movies I haven't seen, because that simply wouldn't be fair.
Let's get the ones I didn't like out of the way first. Keep in mind, this is all my own opinion, so you're probably not going to agree with all of my picks. I do have some very popular movies on my worst list, after all. But that just goes to show why art, especially film, is so subjective: there's no telling how a certain piece of entertainment will rub off on a particular person.
Let me also re-emphasise the point that this is just going by what I've actually seen. While I do try to see as many bad movies as possible just for the sake of this list, there are some reputedly awful 2017 movies that I've been able to avoid. For example, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, Fifty Shades Darker, Death Note, Flatliners, The Emoji Movie, The Dark Tower, CHIPS, Unforgettable, Hangman, Just Getting Started and Rings.
Okay, let's get to it. These are the ten movies this year that I found to be the hardest to sit through.
Runners-up:
Baywatch
Geostorm
John Wick: Chapter 2
Mother!
The Snowman
The Wall
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