Most Quotable TV Shows

Charlotte: My marriage is a fake Fendi. He can't even get it up.

Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.

Carrie: The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.

Carrie: You can't make friends with a squirrel. Squirrels are just rats with cuter outfits.

Carrie: The only thing I've ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several small fires.

Miranda: Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?

Miranda: Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.

Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.

Carrie: The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Carrie: It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, only a plane ride away.

Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with...

Carrie: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.

Carrie: I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.

Carrie: I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

Mr. Big: You're the loves of her life, and a guy would be lucky to come in fourth.

Charlotte: I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he?

Felicity: Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.

Felicity: Anyway, in my closet, I found this thing on my wall. It's a list of all the people who lived in this room before me -- it went back to 1968. Randall Clark... Melissa Stone... Keith Bradshaw... Patty Tagliabue... I mean these names, these people I never heard of... you know, I just started wondering. I wonder where they are today, you know? How much they remember of their freshman year? I wonder if they're all still alive.

Sally Reardon: The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.

Sally Reardon: I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us, and that our mission is to never let it.

Sally Reardon: I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter.

Sean Blumberg: Domestication is the enemy of romance.

Dr. Toni Pavone: Ben, everybody has to figure out who they are eventually.

Look, Amy, I know this sucks for you because of Colin and I want to be there for you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first. –Ephram Brown

Maybe love's like math. You don't get better at it but you just get used to it. Simple equations with the occasional variable. –Amy Abbott

I may not know everything about you but I know that you're the only one who makes my little sister think that it's okay to be a girl. And I know that you're only with Jay because you think he can take you where he can't. Because it's easier to say that I'm too young than to risk something you think you want. And I also know that ever since I kissed you at the DMV and every time I've seen you, I've wanted to kiss you again. And I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty certain, that you have, too. –Ephram Brown

Look, I'm gonna mess up because that's just what I do. But at least give me a chance to mess up. I mean, I'm capable of such stupidity that you'd be wasting my talent by ending this now. –Ephram Brown

When things are working right in the universe, a loss of innocence is usually followed, in time, by an increase in humanity...Time is funny like that. For everything it robs us of, it grants us something. Sometimes it's a new friend, sometimes it's a better understanding of ourselves. Sometimes, it's just a perfect day. -Narrator

Grace Manning: Sometimes people just aren't who you need them to be, at like a certain moment, and unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it.

Lily Manning: There's a difference between giving up and letting go.

Grace Manning: You know, she's just the kind of person that everybody worries whether she has a ride home. And, I guess, I'm just the sort of person people assume can walk.

Jessie Sammler: I just think that sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life.

Grace Manning: I'm all alone. Do you even realize that? Do you even know what that feels like?
Lily Manning: No, honey, I don't. I've always been too afraid to find out what that feels like. I'm so glad that you're not.

Grace Manning: I think they should invent a new word... a word that describes how you feel before you kiss someone. I think it's like when a bird decides that it can fly.

Grace Manning: Y'know, I have this weird feeling that growing up is overrated.

Grace Manning: It's like your parents want you to be grown up in the really boring ways like school, and in the cool ways like being on your own, they try to keep you a kid.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross. –Meredith Grey

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. –Meredith Grey

George, the pity thing? Not good. If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more. -Christina

Alex Karev: Why are you helping me?
Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: [yells] 'Cause it's what Jesus would freaking do!

Yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones we tell ourselves right before we fall asleep. We whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we're happy, or that he's happy. That we can change, or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves that we can live with our sins, or that we can live without him. Yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning - it will all be true. –Mary Alice

Dr. Goldfine: Bree, how does this reconciliation have a chance if the two of you can't be honest about the innermost parts of your lives?
Bree: We're, um, WASPs, Dr. Goldfine. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best.

Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn't one of them. –Mary Alice

I want to draw something that means something to someone. Like when you go see a really great band live for the first time and no-one is saying it but everyone's thinking it... I want to draw that feeling, but I can't. –Peyton

Here's my philosophy on dating. It's important to have somebody that can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, y'know, turns you on... And it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other. –Brooke

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes -- all you need is one. -Peyton

In Texas, we have what's called the "Bubba Factor," where everyone is nicknamed Bubba. Except Ross Perot... they call him Mr. Bubba. –B.J.

I asked this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" And she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?" –Charlene

I was waiting for the universe to dispense some justice but sometimes the universe is just too damn slow. The effects of putting Nair in someone's styling gel, however, only take a few minutes. –Murphy

Oh, good morning, my little worker ants! That's just a figure of speech; I would NEVER compare you to insects. At least not after that sensitivity training seminar those maggots at the network forced me to attend! –Kay

[during a "Diversity Day" exercise; Angela is wearing a sign on her forehead that says "Jamaican."]
Kevin: Hey.
Angela: Hey.
Kevin: You wanna go to the beach?
Angela: Sure.
Kevin: You wanna get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon.

Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.

Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

Dwight Schrute: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none: you're picking a healthcare plan.

[In response to a stupid comment]
Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.

Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it's *not* that common, it *doesn't* "happen to every guy, " and it *is* a big deal!
Chandler: [pointing] I *knew* it!

Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.

Janice: Oh... my... God!

Ross: We were on a break!
Chandler: Oh, my God! If you say that one more time, I'm going to break up with you!

Mike Hanigan: You're not gonna try and make me join a cult are you?
Ross: No...
Mike Hanigan: Oh okay. You just have that look.
Ross: [to himself] Damn SuperCuts!

Joey: Want some jam?
Chandler: No thanks, I just had a jar of mustard.

Kenneth: Fine, I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.

Liz: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.

Tracy: You know how pissed off I was when U.S. Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack - I'm straight-up mentally ill!

Jack: We may not be the best people.
Liz: But we’re not the worst.
Jack and Liz [in unison]: Graduate students are the worst.

Tracy Jordan: I love you so much I'm going to take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.

Liz Lemon: Blurg.

Liz Lemon: I want to go to there.

When you're a little kid you're a bit of everything; Scientist, Philosopher, Artist. Sometimes it seems like growing up is giving these things up one at a time. –narrator

All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone that makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us. –narrator

The thing is, we didn't have to hate eachother for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up. -narrator

Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart. -narrator

Ms. Claire Defoe: Good work, Daria. Your cube is BURSTING out of the picture plane. You've really created the illusion of depth.
Daria: I'm thinking of going into politics.

As far as I can make out, "edgy" occurs when middlebrow, middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy - not to mention the spending money - out of the "youth culture." So they come up with this fake concept of seeming to be dangerous when every move they make is the result of market research and a corporate master plan. –Daria (defining “edgy”)

You know what's cool about that Darwin guy? When Curious George gets in trouble, he always lets him slide. –Kevin

Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone? All right, sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel. So I guess what I'm trying to say is - plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag.

Son, if we don't enforce the drinking age, the excitement of sneaking around to get wasted might disappear forever! Do you want that on your shoulders, pal? –Sheriff

I have a delicate flower... IN MY PANTS! –JFK

Angela: My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it *was*, you're lucky to get out alive.

Angela: It had become the focus of everything. It was all I could feel, all I could think about. It blotted out the rest of my face, the rest of my life. Like the zit had become... the truth about me.

Angela: When I was little I, like, worshipped Halloween. And truthfully, part of me still does. 'Cause it's your one chance all year to be someone else.

Angela: If only there were a button somewhere that I could push. To force me to stop talking.

Angela: Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me.

Angela: This life has been a test. If this had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do.

Angela: The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that you don't measure up. And that, in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.

Angela: Things were getting to me. Just how people are. How they always expect you to be a certain way. Even your best friend.

Angela: School is a battlefield... for your heart.

Angela: I bet people can actually die of embarrassment. I bet it's been medically proven.

Angela: Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart.

Angela: It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it's even you? And, I mean, this whole thing with yearbook - it's like, everybody's in this big hurry to make this book, to supposedly remember what happened. Because if you made a book of what really happened, it'd be a really upsetting book.

Angela: People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even. But every so often I'll have, like, a moment, where just being myself in my life right where I am is, like, enough.

Angela: When someone compliments your parents, there's like nothing to say. It's like a stun gun to your brain.

Angela: Hatred can become like food, it gives you this energy that you can like, live off of.

Angela: What I like, dread, is when people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area. And you have to develop this, like, combination you on the spot.

Angela: What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like, your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second.