The 10 Greatest Classic Horror Movies Ever
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Perhaps one of the best B movies of all time, The Evil Dead had a budget of only $375,000 but a genius director at the helmâSam Raimi, who would go on to direct âSpider-Manâ and produce âThe Grudge.â Though it initially got slapped with an NC-17 rating for its brutal violence, the plot of the film is somewhat laughableâfive Michigan State students are on vacation for the weekend and stumble across a demonic tape recording that releases evil spirits who plan to possess the students. If you can get past the gore, the movie and its sequels are definitely worth seeingâparticularly âArmy of Darkness,â though with its $11 million budget, it canât quite fairly be called a B movie.
Blood Shack (1971)
Does it really get any better than an absurdly comical horror movie with a rumored $500 budget? The best of the best might be âBlood Shackâ, otherwise known as âThe Chooper,â In the Ray Dennis Steckler gem, Carol inherits a ranch in the middle of nowhere and staunchly refuses to sell it to anyone who may want it, despite the fact that a legendary Native American creature known as âThe Chooper,â who appears to be part ninja and part grumpy old man, is living on the grounds and killing whoever happens to step wrong on the property. Comic gold is littered everywhere in the movie, especially in a seemingly random, stretched-out scene at the town rodeo. Why are they there? When will the plot return? No one seems to know.
Freez'er (2001)
Almost no one has ever heard of it, but Freezâer is truly a hidden treasure. If youâre a fan of puns, youâll enjoy the titleâJ.M., the filmâs main character, is devastated by his wifeâs death, can barely cope without her, andâwellâletâs just say a freezer is involved. The acting is absolutely atrocious, which is part of the movieâs charm; each line is delivered as if the character were reading it as part of a phonics program. âFreezâerâ was also written and directed by the same person, a near-guarantee of a fantastically horrible movie.
This film was the brainchild of Ed Woodâneed I say more? Fine, fine. Orgy of the Dead is exactly what it sounds likeâa man and his girlfriend go to a cemetery for inspiration (heâs a writer; pull your mind out of the gutter, please), but instead of finding great ideas, they find a bunch of expired exotic dancers, who put on one of the most gruesomely terrible performances in cinematic history for the couple. The movie doesnât quite have the makings of a classic, but if you can manage to get through it, youâll probably feel pretty good about yourself.
Killer Tongue (1996)
Itâs tempting to just let the plot summary from IMDB tell all for this oneâthe movie âinvolves a woman hiding out with four pastel-colored poodles in a desert gas station,â which is good enough, but then âa meteorite crashes near the station, transforming the woman into an alien being with a gigantic, voracious tongue, and her poodles are transformed into four drag queens.â Sign me up! The womanâs name, of course, is Candy.
Warningâif youâve harbored a secret fear of clowns since childhood, you should probably pass this one by. In a nutshell, murderous extraterrestrial clowns invade a small town and go on a total rampage, confined only by their clownish tendencies to kill with common circus foodstuffs such as popcorn and cotton candy. The townspeople are too dumb to figure out whatâs going on, so itâs up to a few sly teenagers to shut the freaks down. Itâs too bad the robots of MST3K never got to this movie, but itâs easy enough to fill in the snide comments by yourself.
C.H.U.D., short for âCannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller,â deals with the terrors of the New York City sewer systemâsurely the best fodder for a genuine horror movie in a long time. In a nod to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the C.H.U.D.s are similarly mutated toxic creatures that were once people and are now so ravenous and crazed that they prey on small dogs and the homeless, pulling them down into manholes and crunching into them on the spot. Awesome.
A list of top B horror movies would never be complete without at least one film that features competing monsters. Everyone knows that when one horrible monster doesnât make a movie awful enough, the solution is to throw in at least one more and see what happens. In Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove, that strategy works out beautifully. In classic Frankenstein style, the monsters in the film are manufactured by an insane human (oh, those humans⌠will they ever learn?) and make it their goals to spread as much havoc as possible. Did I mention that a werewolf is also involved?
With a title like The Blob you know youâre in for a treat before the movie even starts. A plot summary isnât even necessary for this glorious piece of workâsuffice it to say that a giant and malevolent gob of jelly is on the loose, and if youâre nearby, youâre in trouble. When you think about it, thereâs really no better idea for a horror movie villainâfaceless and shapeless is the scariest, after all.
Them! (1954)
Straight out of the vintage era, Them! is a movie about mutant ants that did the impossible by landing an Oscar nomination for best effects and actually winning an Oscar for best sound editing. Itâs well known that no part of any B movie is supposed to actually be good enough to catch the attention of the Academy, but as this movie was made in 1954, itâs slightly excusable. âThem!â is the gold standard for dozens of other B movies and nails every criterion you could ever ask for in such a filmâgreat plot? Check. âWTFâ moments? Check. Acting that doesnât make you want to die? Check. Party and popcorn potential? Double check. If youâre looking for one of the very best of the originals, dig up this sucker and start spinning