10,000 BC Reviews

whatever this movie had going for it was wasted.

at least you know quickly that what you're watching has little connection to reality. its a cartoon...a violent one; which makes it a little hard to assess who the target audience was??

a group of pre-historic hunters are down on luck and some blah blah blah about a legend is narrated over the beginning. as soon as you hear the first bit of narration, you should already know its going to be a bad movie. they might as well have said (in a deep wispy voice of course) "remember the last fantasy story you saw? yup, this is the same thing." its just that everything here is so generic that its hard to not laugh. its a parody, right?

love story, check. male proving himself, check. silly outfits, check. storytelling voices...by everyone, check. it goes on and on.

i like fantasy movies. hell i like fantasy movies that can only be guilty pleasures. but this is intolerable.

they would have done better to go way over the top with everything than to try to ground this in pre-historic times. simply because once you hear the voices that the charactors use, you can't help but to be pulled out from the experience of theater. your mind, which allows the overly modern features of the cast...even the clearly beautiful for the sake of prettiness...to completely be part of the drama. but the voices are simply preposterous and have place on a show like saturday night live but not in an apparently serious fantasy movie. its a parody, right?

theres enough mindless drama to make the movie watchable. but i can't honestly say much good about it. its a adequate story which could be serviceable, but nothing else adds up here. i suppose the acting isn't actually bad, precisely because its how they were directed to be. camerawork and animation is decent, i guess. but none of that brings up the failures elsewhere.

the most important scene is the cover/ scene. (which in point, never happens in as an image) he saves a sabertooth tiger, and the tiger comes back to save him right afterwords. this in turn is proof of another tribes "legend" which we get to see as an appallingly disney cartoon version of a cave painting (though not on a cave). and then its all dropped completely.

stupid movie. too violent for kids, too dumb for adults. who is watching this? its a parody....nope, it just sucks.

(3/10)

So far, I am unimpressed with the movie releases for June 24. I shut Spiderwick Chronicles off before finishing it, and I feel like doing the same for this one. Currently 45 minutes into "10,000 B.C.", and I am very disappointed with it. This is from the director of "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow", and while I haven't seen "Independence Day", I can say that I enjoyed "The Day After Tomorrow" much, much more. Maybe I am just not in the mood for this movie, but I am not impressed with the special effects, the acting, or the story, and I don't feel like sitting through the rest of the movie to see if it gets any better!

Thankfully, I didn't have to pay to rent this, otherwise, I would want my money back! I can only hope that the rest of the movies I brought home are better than the ones I have watched so far!!