Login
Class of 1999 is the kind of movie late night cable television in the late 80s/early 90s was made for. It was the kind of movie that made tweens from that era giddy with delight. Like its predecessor Class of 1984, it tackles our failed education system. But instead of taking a serious approach at social commentary, '99 throws all that out the window in favor of a big, dumb action/sci-fi extravanganza. And damn is it a lot of fun.
Class of 1999 dares to answer the questions: What if The Terminator taught high school? What if The Terminator put you across his lap and gave you one brutal ass spanking? What if someone made a movie using the leftover costumes and sets from Cyborg? Which incidentally was made using leftover costumes and sets from a failed Masters of the Universe sequel. Whew.
All you need to know about the plot is that tough as nails teen badboy Cody Culp (played by Bradley Gregg who is sort of like the poor man's Stephen Dorff) is fresh out of prison and back in high school. Only now the State of Educational Defense has created android teachers to deal with the students.
And this is where the film truly shines, the casting choices for the adults is damn near brilliant. SEE Malcolm McDowell as the concerned Principal Dr. Miles Langford. SEE Stacy Keach in a feral white mullet and wolfman contacts as head of the android program. SEE Pam Grier strut her stuff and show us her amazing bionic breasts (I'll gladly take them in any form). SEE Patrick Kilpatrick stare with an intensity that would make any student piss his pants. SEE John P. Ryan as the aforementioned brutal ass slapper.
The classroom scenes are pure B-movie enjoyment, the ensuing battle between gangs and teachers is breathtaking thanks to top notch effects (the f/x team previously worked on Die Hard and Predator!). The ending is pure mayhem with the teachers transforming into android creatures with flame thrower and rocket launcher arms. All in all it delivers great popcorn fun, makes you wish all B-movies had as much ambition and moxie!
