Lists  Reviews  Images  Update feed
MoviesTV ShowsMusicBooksGamesDVDs/Blu-RayPeopleArt & DesignPlacesWeb TV & PodcastsToys & CollectiblesComic Book SeriesBeautyAnimals   View more categories »
Listal logo
643 Views No comments

I don’t make love. I fuck… hard

Spoilers and vulgarisms zone!!! :D

A touching story of a young, rich and beautiful man with a complex personality, who loves to dominate in every area of their life, and about sensitive virgin, who loves to read serious British literature and who, despite appearances, is a very naughty girl, because she washed her teeth with his toothbrush. Both indulge in their desire and fly away by helicopter into the sunset to his house with designer bath and rococo bed to give up the pleasures of the body and fuck hard.

He is a master of fucking with abandon, she gets wet whenever he looks at her, she bites her lip, and her inner goddess dancing and doing various other strange things.

My inner goddess (if such a thing exists, because I don’t have confidence and evidence) laughs loudly at me now, because I gave yourself be tempted to read this book. I missed the phenomenon of "Twilight", perhaps because of my innate aversion to vampires and werewolves, but here, curiosity won, even though the "romance" of this kind are not to my taste.

The book really fast to read, from the beginning to the first sex passed quickly, even I was surprised when it happened and how many pages it has already passed. It took me a whole one day.

Generally speaking, it was a porn with a storyline, and sometimes I feel that this storyline is pushed just because that was something between sexual intercourse. And finally, this sex, which in the book is a lot... I tried to put myself in the erotic contacts of the main characters, and each time when I almost succeeded appeared some stupid thought of the main character in the style: "holy shit" or "Ha! My inner goddess is thrilled. I can do this. I can fuck him with my mouth.” And, unfortunately, every time this frail nucleus of my excitement was extinguished and not returning for a long time. Moreover, I think that the triangle Christian, Ana and her inner goddess is not acceptable!

When I have come to the conclusion that even sex in this book is not able to turn me on, then maybe I will focus on the complexity of Grey, on his many faces, I get into his story, the story of a fifteen-year boy who was submissive mature woman... But nothing, absolutely nothing wasn’t able to reverse my attention from the hyperactive excitement main character, and its constantly recurring shouts: "wow", "holy crap", "holy cow", "holy hell," "holy fuck" and the aforementioned "holy shit".

Summary of "holy" expressions of the first 74 pages:

“Holy cow – he’s so young.”
“holy crap, he’s so arrogant.”
“Holy crap – what was that?”
“Holy crap. What the hell is he doing here”
“I halt at his expression, his eyes darkening. Holy cow.”
„Holy Crap! He’s wearing a white shirt”
“Holy hell… what’s this about?”
“Holy crap, that’s personal.”
„Holy shit. He’s remembering the ‘gay’ question.”
“Holy crap - I just said that out loud?”
“Holy shit - they are first editions.”
“Holy crap, did I just call Christian Grey?”
“Holy crap. I pull my jeans up.”
“Holy fuck… he’s going to kiss me.”
“Holy shit! Christian Grey, he’s here.”
“Holy Moses, I’m in his arms again.”
“Holy cow – he’s leading me onto the dance floor.”
“Holy crap. I’m in the Heathman hotel…”
“No socks. No jeans. Holy shit.”
“Holy hell, he’s been working out.”
“Holy crap – my mouth dries.”
“Holy shit. What does that mean?”
“Holy shit. His other hand grabs my ponytail”
“Holy hell, is this his life,”
“Holy shit, what has he got in store for me?”
“Holy shit. It’s bad, really bad”
“Holy shit. Did I just say that?”
“Holy shit, that sounds so… hot.”
“We’re talking about cheese… Holy crap.”

Yeah, this is really a lot…

Even if this story was in itself a potential, had to be really strong erotic position, this awful language certainly destroyed everything. For the first nine chapters of reading was even funny, it’s impossible to count how many times the main character led me to laugh, then laugh replaced irritation.

In total, I have nothing more to write. One more note... at a time when women are excited by men like Christian and vampire Edward is probably really hard to be ordinary average man, who doesn’t shine, don’t live forever and isn’t rich beautiful Adonis with a complex inside and the specific sexual preference. You have heavy task, modern men, heavy, requirements suspended so damn high.

And now my inner goddess dancing hula with a sardonic smile and biting his lip and back to reading books about more affordable topics.

Did I read the next parts? I don’t know what is worse, to wade into this more deeply, or not know the ending. The question to think about.

Added by Villiana
3 years ago on 25 November 2014 11:57