saga, soap opera

seriously?
you'd think after all the money they've made on these films they'd hire a writer, a director, and some actors. ok so i guess you can't jettison the actors in the middle of a story arch, but i bet they wish they could! and considering its based on a book you couldn't....well yes you could...hire a writer please.

after harry potter, its obvious they hired unknown actors hoping to cash in on them but whoever picked these dolts didn't have a clue what acting was. these pretenders had no potential and over the course of 3 movies now they've proven it. they've not developed at all. who ever picked the kids in harry potter picked 3 people that had the chops to develop and become better. with twilight we get less than after school special quality auditions as the main actors.

the plot: well twinkly ol' edward still gettin' his heroin fix with isabella swan (still one of the lamest character names ever). they're talking marriage now aka stay tuned for more crappy sexual tension to come. and hero jacob is sidelined again because....well just because good ol' bella wants to be dead aka vampire. oh and then theirs an army of new vampires coming to kill her. and the amazing fight scenes...are not. dramatic music doesn't equal good fight scenes sorry.
so for two hours they're protecting bella but then not. hiding her, using her as bait. falling in love but then not. but then yes but then no...and him but maybe not and then maybe yes...but maybe him instead..and..so on. by the end (actually well before) i hoped the redhead vampire behind the army would've ate her and ended the whole damned thing. but no such luck.

drizzle heavily with special effects filters, add dramatic score and middle of the road rockish soundtrack, and thats movie making for people who haven't seen good movies. which not coincidentally is who these are made for; tweens.

my girlfriend, who forces me to watch such boring trite fluff, had already seen the film. i said "you're making me watch it when you've already seen it?" and she says "i can't really remember much about it though". i can only hope to be so lucky!




2/10