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Pop Quiz: The Ghost and the Darkness is to lions as *blank* is to sharks. Is the answer: A.) Jaws B.) A Sharks Tale C.) Open Water OR D.) Jaws: The Revenge ?
If you answered D, youre right!!! Because The Ghost and the Darkness is one of the most sh*t-tastic major-studio release films to ever be made and it is about man-eating lions. Val Kilmer plays Dudley Do-Right on safari except with a worse haircut and an awful British accent and Michael Douglas is terribly mis-cast (they may as well have pulled names out of a hat) as a renegade, tough-guy, arm-chair philosopher, back-woods, grade A, as in a**hole, bullshi**er. The film flirts with the idea of legitimately portraying various and sometimes clashing cultures of native-African tribesmen, Kenyan towns-people, and imported Indian railway workers (both hindu and muslim) but then ultimately settles into bland, thoughtless treatments perhaps slightly less offensive than your average South Park portrayal. But of course this all takes a back seat to the most uninspired of showdowns in recent memory between Man and Nature, capped off by a dull, lazy resolution that insults (more than this review ever could) the good-natured tenacity that carried us viewers all the way to the steamy, stinking end of this sh*t-bucket of a movie.
