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I cannot even begin to imagine what the makers of Jack and Jill were thinking (assuming they were thinking at all, of course). I'm not referring to the nightmarish gimmick of Adam Sandler portraying a man named Jack and his twin sister, Jill, as there is clearly a market for this kind of "comedy" (mostly restricted to children in the single-digit age-range). Rather, I am referring to the absurd amount of offensive humor in this supposed family film, including jokes about Mexicans, Christians, terrorists, etc. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. There is not a single funny gag in this film, and there is rarely a moment where the events onscreen aren't utterly grating or unbearable. My fascination with awful cinema knows no bounds, but Jack and Jill took my patience to the breaking point. I'm forever scarred. There's no going back; I will never be the same.
Jack and Jill are twin siblings (as I mentioned before, they are both portrayed by Adam Sandler). Jack cannot stand his nutty and emotional sister, but Jack's wife insists on letting Jill stay with them over the holidays, as Jill is clearly very lonely. Jack is especially crabby because Al Pacino (yes, Al Pacino is in an Adam Sandler movie) has refused to be a part of a Dunkin' Donuts commercial that Jack is directing. However, Jill becomes very useful to Jack when Al Pacino develops an intense love for Jill (?!?!?!), and the whole film gets worse and worse from there.
Now, to be fair, this film was never good. From the first second, to the last, Jack and Jill is just a long grind. A long grind that somehow manages to get worse and worse as the film goes on. A miraculous achievement (don't you dare take this sentence out of context). Just when you think Jack and Jill can't get any more offensive or awful, you get another racism joke. Another weird scene where 70 year old Al Pacino is trying to romance a 40 year old Adam Sandler in drag. Another celebrity cameo that makes you scream at the screen, "What obscene amount of money were you offered to accept a role in this train wreck?!"
And come to think of it, calling this film a train wreck may be a perfect analogy. Yes, it's horrible. Yes, it's depressing. But one can only watch in morbid curiosity to see what happens next.
And perhaps curiosity is fair. That is, after all, what drew me to this film. When a film has such an infamous reputation as this one, one cannot help but be drawn in. But there are numerous pleasures in this film, other than Adam Sandler portraying two of the most unlikable characters in all of cinema. In what other film can you see Shaquille O'Neal sensually licking a frozen ham? In what other movie can you Adam Sandler (as a woman) debating God's existence with an atheist? And in what other movie will you hear Al Pacino shot this most memorable line of dialogue: "I can smelly horny across the ocean!" Yes, this movie is actually PG.
I'm trying to figure out what the thought-process was behind the makers of this "film." Why is it a good idea to have so many offensive/raunchy jokes in a PG rated family film? At least in the first 10 minutes of the film (which feel more like 10 years), I felt like I was watching a family movie. After that, the screenwriters must have realized the idiocy of their decision to sign onto this movie, and decided to shoot for the stars, hoping to at least earn some "edginess points" in the process.
And yet, we still have the common staples of bad children's entertainment. Including (but not limited to), poop jokes, (dozens of) fart jokes, silly dancing, and slapstick.
Even the special effects used in this film to make it so Jack and Jill can be in the same scenes are done poorly. They're almost never in the same shot, and when they are, you can only see one of their faces. I can probably count on my hands the amount of times they both appear onscreen at the same time. Heck, The Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan from 16 years ago pulled the "twin" effect off better than this film.
Adam Sandler (who won the Golden Razzie award for Worst Actor and Worst Actress for this film) is, needless to say, atrocious. The character of Jack, is almost unbelievably rude, and a total jerk. Jill, on the other hand, is as obnoxious as you would expect, with the single most annoying and ear-bleedingly terrible laugh in the history of cinema (and you will hear this laugh numerous times in this film).
Al Pacino gets a surprisingly large role in this film, and while his performance isn't bad, per-say, he comes across as terrible anyways, purely because of the script. His role in this film seems somewhat ironic, interestingly, because he says in this film that he would never stoop so low, as to allow himself to be in a Dunkin' Donuts commercial. And yet, here he is, dating Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill!
Other celebrity cameos only leaves the audience wondering what Oscar contender they lost a bet on. The biggest question seems to be why Johnny Depp has a scene in this film, despite not saying anything funny (or anything that's supposed to be funny). Also, he's wearing a Justin Bieber shirt, because, you know, why not?
So, if you can't wait to see Adam Sandler in heels, making a run for the toiler screaming, "it's the chimichangas! They're making a run for the border!," then this will be all kinds of fun for you. But for the more sensible remainder of the population, this will be an intolerable slog. I think Al Pacino says it best at the end of the film: "Burn this. This cannot be seen. By anyone."
1/10
