WARNING: This review will contain some profanity, so don't read if you're easily offended by cursing.
I have A LOT to say about this waste of cinema! I was highly anticipating this piece of shit when I saw the trailer for this movie and saw that RIDLEY FUCKING SCOTT was directing this abomination. It was number 2 on my Most Anticipated Movies of 2013 which is actually appropriate because this film is a bunch of "number 2." While Grown Ups 2 was originally the worst movie of the year, this one tops Grown Ups 2 because while it was a god-awful movie, I had no expectations for it.
The main problem with this movie is the dialogue. I have seen many movies with bad dialogue, but this movie might have the worst dialogue ever in a movie. The movie starts with Penelope Cruz and Michael Fassbender talking about finger-fucking and taking part in a poorly-made sex scene. The dialogue in that scene is so poorly written that I had no hope for this movie. The sex in this movie is about as sexy as Sarah Jessica Parker trying to seduce an iguana.
The talent in this movie was wasted wasted WASTED!!! With the exception of Cameron Diaz the acting wasn't bad, but the actors just didn't look like they were interested in the movie at all.
The way this movie was advertised was misleading as fuck. The trailer made it look like it was going to be a gritty crime movie, but the tone of this movie wasn't that dark and it was just a talky movie. Now I don't mind dialogue-heavy movies. Some of my favorite movies are talky, but when the dialogue is horrible, the movie just feels like a huge chore to watch.
Almost an hour and a half into the movie when we finally get a shoot-out scene, it is too short, not suspenseful and the blood spurting effects are faker than a reality show.
This could've been a great movie, but it is ruined by the fucking awful dialogue, waste of talent and the misleading advertising. They also end this shitty movie with the shittiest ending they can think of. I have never felt so let down by a movie! This might even be the worst movie I've ever seen because it is that fucking bad!!!
Fuck this movie! Fuck the writing! Fuck the advertising! Fuck the waste of talent! Fuck 2013 for being a disappointing year for movies and fuck me for anticipating this piece of shit!!!
1/10
