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This game must be a joke.

In Big Rigs, your objective (really, the game has an objective?) is to drive through all the checkpoints with trucks, "big rigs", while delivering illegal cargo and escaping the police (there are no any police in the actual game, or no cargo/any objective) and get to the goal before your opponent does. You can pick from Custom Race (pick your own vehicle and track) and Random Race (picks your own vehicle and track by random).

The trucks, which have no difference to eachother minus the outlook:
* Thunder
* Megaone
* Thunderbull (which seems to have a trailer but it really doesn't)
* Sunrise W12 (which, actually, HAS a trailer even in the game)

The tracks:
* Devil Passage 1
* Devil Passage 2
* Forgotten Road 1 (there's not a Forgotten Road 2 etc, dunno why there's a 1)
* Nightride (crashes the game)
* Small Town Road

And now for the review itself. This game must be a fucking joke. First of all, the so-called opponent doesn't even move. The opponent just is still for the whole game while you drive somewhere around the track. You can't lose. And when you 'win' the whole game, you get this infamous victory screen (displayed below). Note that you can win the whole game by doing nothing, atleast sometimes. Also there are very, very long loading screens, which feature a car which actually isn't in the game.

And now for the physics. For example, when you try to drive on a bridge in Forgotten Road 1, you fall under the bridge. And come back again. Yay. Then, you can just be still and press arrow keys down and left/right. An infinite reverse donut which speeds up. When you let go of the button, it just stops immediately. And you can drive anywhere you want (with a horribly handling truck), even a hill straight up. And don't mind about obstacles, because you can drive through them! But, when you go to the edge of the track, it's just nothing. It's nothing that you can drive on. And then come back to the track. Oh yeah, I forgot to remind that the tracks feature the surrounding terrain on top of the asphalt. I think I've already proved how lame the programming is.

There is a speed meter (which actually works somehow) and a meter (called "Ultranav") that provides you the number of laps (it's always "01/01"), time and points (which really makes no actual use). And then there's the checkpoints marked. And don't forget the green coding on the right, which makes no sense. They probably forgot it there (even though I want to think this is a joke). And for the graphics, it's really bad. The brake lights float off of the truck models

And then the non-game facts. When you press the Escape button in the middle of the game, there's "Return to Game" and "Quit to Windows". If you press the latter one, you end up in the main menu. Then there's the options: you can set the quality of terrain, textures and effects and the density of nature. These don't really change anything, and when you click on the effects quality or the density of nature, they both change! It doesn't even save your settings. High Scores shows you the high scores, duh. There's a name with the high score, but you can't change the name, it's just "Driver1". Credits show you the makers of the game. The sound is made by Alex Burton. Poor Alex, it must be hard doing nothing. And then you can exit. That's the best part of the entire game.

As a complete, this is utter crap. This is just plain crap. It's horrible in every way you can imagine. There's nothing good about it. I don't recommend this game to anyone with a two-digit IQ. But, I want everyone to play this game, because it's free to download (it's completely free; you don't have to pay anything) and you can experience one of the worst games ever.

PS. Stellar Stone, the maker of the game, released a patch where your opponent actually moves, there are sound effects, and the broken Nightride track is replaced with a mirror version of Devil Passage 1 that doesn't crash the game. The "You're Winner" screen also reads "You Win".

UPDATE: Somehow, Small Town Road works now. The stage is even more bad than the other three: there are no hills or whatever to drive on. Notice the word "on". Instead, you drive IN the hills.

13 years ago on 15 July 2010 15:38