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An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
Dennis Quaid: General Abernathy / Hawk
The man behind The Mummy series and Van Helsing explodes his latest project G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra upon audiences.
Although knowing Director Stephen Sommers you instantly assume CGI, effects and colourful meanderings will take precedence over any substantial material or dialogue. So what is the result? Well, it is an overblown fest of nonsense with no defining plot.
Sommers never truly develops his characters thus we can never relate to them. By all means you could argue he tries, by using flashbacks, used at the strangest possible interludes. The acting doesn't help matters either because performances range from dastardly villainy to macho good guys cracking lame jokes.
Going back to the flashbacks, which merely include a few of the main members of G.I. Joe and Cobra, the rest of the cast, which is many do not have the necessary fleshing out to define them.
Needless to say, Joseph Gordon-Levitt impressed me the most, if I had to choose a defining, stand out actor. He plays the nefarious evil Doctor whom is also the brother to Sienna Miller's Baroness, although supposedly recognizable to the untrained eye he instantly was spotted by me. He gives a chilling, over the top, twisted definition to bring to life his character. What else? He's clearly having fun and I guiltily admit watching him.
The rest of the cast range from the eye candy females there to drawn in the mindless male audiences whom don't know any better, and the strong, buff men used to draw the females. Yet, this is a very boyish film much like the Hasbro toys the film is based upon.
''They feel no fear. Cortical nerve clusters showed complete inactivity. They feel no pain. Concepts of morality are disengaged. They feel no regrets. No remorse.''
Sienna Miller utilizes the advantages of the push up bra and a sexy exotic black costume while red headed Rachel Nichols does exactly the same thing with her shaped body suit. G.I. Joe clearly is style over substance in a dizzying array of CGI mayhem.
Villain arms dealer Christopher Eccleston has a Scottish accent that quite honestly makes milk curdle with it's comical tones of stereotypicalist provocation. Whereas Dennis Quaid's Hawk expects us to believe he's an American General leading an Elite Unit of technologically blessed block heads.
Ray Park reprises a silent role from his days of The Phantom Menace, Marlon Wayans is the black guy cracking jokes, and Arnold Voosloo pops into this Sommers outing to whistle. Speaking of Voosloo, G.I Joe is littered with The Mummy old cast churning out odd cameos which essentially back fire because the film becomes a ''Spot The Mummy cast member!'' outing instead of just a contorted mess. I'm actually puzzled as to whether Brendan Fraser and Kevin J. O'Connor appearing randomly in scenes is good or bad.
As for Jonathan Pryce being cast as the US president someone is clearly having a lovely laugh at our expense.
Channing Tatum as duke, the so called lead man, shows not everyone in this World has the ability to act or say lines correctly. He's essentally a walking, talking bloke whom just found his way out of the gym.
He does succeed in being more wooden than a cemented lama which one night became fossilized by non-movement.
What's funny is that little kids, young teenagers and handfuls of geeks or fans of the toys will love this chaotic, colourful rainbow of action and CGI.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for me, was at times fun yet mostly a confusing experience. I mean, they actually fooled me into for a moment indulging a thought that the film may have a story to back itself up. The beginning has a period flashback in Scotland reminiscent of The Man In the Iron Mask yet the illusion is dispelled with the jump back to modern reality and G.I. Joe prominently shows it's true colours. A hyper actioned affair with no defining plot. Gigantic set pieces and CGI over-kill may impress the simple minded film junkies who need a quick fix but alas for those more intelligent viewers, like I, I can boldly say we're not fooled. Try again Sommers. Reading books might help Stephen discover what substance and story means.
''The time has come for the cobra to rise up and reveal himself. You will call me Commander.''
5/10
