Review of Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Meet Darren. He's sixteen going on immortal.

Loved this one. I wasn't really expecting much, so this didn't disappoint me. I actually loved John C. Reilly as a centuries old vampire, plus Salma Hayek was subtly funny as a psychic bearded lady. I was expecting more of Willem Dafoe, but he only had two scenes (spoiler :p), so I felt that his presence was a tad bit underused. Still, a good fantasy film about vampires and other forms of freaks.
Darren Shan (Massoglia) used to be a sixteen year old who led a perfect life. Popular, an A-student, excellent family, lovely sister....as opposed to his best friend, Steve (Hutcherson), who hasn't seen his dad in years and whose mum is a drunkard. Nevertheless, the two are close friends, even though Darren's parents want him to stay away from Steve, since they believe that Darren won't get anything good out of Steve. Both have their own fascinations: Darren loves spiders, while Steve is obsessed with vampires. During a carnival freak show, Steve recognizes one of the performers as a centuries old vampire, Larten Crepsley (Reilly). He immediately tries to get Larten to change him into a vampire, but one of the rules of the vampires is that children cannot become vampires. Larten tests Steve's blood, but he finds it to be "bad", thus infuriating Steve, who swears that he will one day make Larten pay. Unknown to Larten, Steve, and another vampire, Gavner Purl (Dafoe), Darren is hiding in the closet. He had sneaked into Larten's room in order to get a closer look at Larten's pet spider, Octa. When the three leave the room, Darren seizes his chance and makes a mad dash for the exit, taking Octa with him. Outside, he is ushered into the limousine of a mysterious man, who goes by the name of Mr. Tiny (Cerveris), as well as his intimidating henchman, Murlaugh (Stevenson). Darren is dropped off at the front of his house, but Mr. Tiny tells him that they will "keep in touch". The next day, Steve is bitten by Octa after trying to squish the spider with a broom. The bite proves to be fatal, and Steve slips into a coma. Desperate, Darren goes to Larten and strikes a bargain. If Darren becomes Larten's assistant, he will give Steve the antidote to the spider bite, thus saving his life. The catch? Darren HAS to become half-vampire (enough so that he can still walk around during the day) and leave everyone and everything he holds dear.
Fun movie, really. The freaks are fascinating and cool, especially Evra the Snake Boy (Fugit), who is actually a frustrated singer/rockstar/songwriter. The others are a thrill to see, and I loved the visual effects. Simply stunning, although there were instances when prosthetic use revealed itself. A good family film, despite it riding the wave of the vampire trend.