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Adapted from the graphic novel of the same name, Whiteout is a formulaic, sloppily-constructed thriller almost entirely devoid of excitement and thrills. The plot from the book is not altered considerably for the movie, but Whiteout has been crafted with such lifeless banality that it's almost impossible to become genuinely invested in the central murder mystery. This is strictly paint-by-numbers stuff, with an uninteresting story giving way to twists and turns sign-posted long in advance, and action as dull as dishwater. It's no surprise to learn that the project sat on the shelf for two years awaiting a cinematic release (filming wrapped in mid-2007), yet the studio should have instead done the honourable thing and buried all prints of the movie deep in the ice of Antarctica.
The plot of Whiteout could be accurately described as a combination of Cliffhanger, D-Tox and John Carpenter's The Thing, except not as awesome as that would imply. U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko (Beckinsale) is the sole law enforcement official at a research station in Antarctica. For the past two years, she has maintained order at the facility, and now her tour of duty is almost over. A few days before Carrie is scheduled to return to the States, a corpse is discovered on the ice not far from the facility. Of course, she chooses to stay and investigate, presumably because she's a dedicated cop, or maybe it's because this is the first murder in the continent's history, or, more likely, it's because she knows what's good for the movie.
In spite of the potentially intriguing premise and a visually arresting setting, Whiteout is a boring, factory-made whodunit which is quickly snowed under by stupidity, genre clichés, stale writing, and limp direction. Everyone involved was clearly working on autopilot, and the film feels like a tired television cop show story made noteworthy because of its setting. Every red herring and twist is familiar, and even flashbacks pop up routinely to clarify the most trivial of details. Heck, Carrie is even introduced in a gratuitous strip-and-shower sequence in which she's reduced to a mere fetishised object. And there isn't even proper nudity, which is especially disappointing considering that director Dominic Sena's last movie - Swordfish - is renowned for featuring a shot of Halle Berry's bare breasts. Also of interest is that Whiteout could have easily been a silent movie. There is dialogue of course, but most of it barely qualifies as anything but noise as characters always say the most obvious things. For instance, if someone walks inside an airplane, they say "It's an airplane". If there's a corpse on the ground with a hole in its head, the first words out of anyone's mouth will be something like "That guy has a hole in his head."
Production values are also notably poor - the score is all booms and crashes to wake up the audience every few minutes, the cinematography makes Antarctica look like a surprisingly dull place, and the production design perpetually screams either green screen or enclosed set. The digital effects are a disappointing mixed bag, with somewhat convincing storm effects undercut by the repetitive, dull foot chases they're used for. Sadly, the film is further marred by director Sena's inability to construct a decent, or even a coherent action sequence. Sure, the title of the film refers to extreme weather conditions that are supposed to disorientate the unlucky ones who are caught within it, but this is no excuse for how poorly shot and edited several of the outdoor struggles are. With everyone dressed alike in bulky snow gear moving at a snail's pace, constantly strapping hooks onto safety lines, these types of action scenes are not in the least bit interesting. A set-piece like this could work if the director was talented, but Sena is not.
All the actors look weary as they go through the motions. Kate Beckinsale does whatever she can with the material, but there's never a moment where the actress seems genuinely immersed in the material. Gabriel Macht follows up his dreadful turn in The Spirit with an even less successful performance here; delivering his lines with a dire lack of enthusiasm. Tom Skerritt is generically warm and friendly as the base doctor, but at least he knew how to make the most of his stock character. Meanwhile Columbus Short barely registers as the helpful Delfy, and Alex O'Loughlin is worryingly endearing as the Australian who's been plonked into the proceedings.
Whiteout is pure amateur hour, resembling a motion picture stitched together by a group of folks unaware of how moviemaking works. If you're familiar with John Carpenter's The Thing, the visual style for Whiteout will also be familiar to you. And if you've seen such TV shows as Bones and CSI, you'll be familiar with the crime-detecting style of this film. Simply put, Whiteout is merely a CSI: Antarctica episode which spends more time justifying the motions than actually enjoying the ride. The best thing that can be said about the film is that it's moderately painless. The whole affair comes across as just a made-for-TV movie, yet that's not saying a lot considering the time and expense involved.
2.8/10
