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The title of All About Steve implies the film in question is about its titular character, but in fact this movie is about generic rom-com storytelling, drab jokes and attempts at syrupy melodrama. All About Steve was initially planned for release in 2008 and designed as a vehicle for both Sandra Bullock (who hadn't had a hit in years) and Bradley Cooper (who had yet to become a household name). But with the studio delaying the movie by a year, it was able to be sold as a comedy featuring the stars of the two biggest comedies of the 2009 summer season: The Proposal and The Hangover. However, even with other amiable actors in supporting roles (like Thomas Haden Church and Ken Jeong, the latter of which was also in The Hangover), no amount of star power could've saved All About Steve. It's a slapdash, interminable series of gags based around the shrillest, most obvious characters imaginable.
Bullock plays Mary Horowitz; a lonely, socially awkward cruciverbalist who has no friends, lives at home with her parents, likes to talk a lot, and spends her days writing crossword puzzles. The story kicks into gear when Mary's well-meaning parents set her up on a blind date with a handsome news network cameraman named Steve (Cooper). Mary is instantly smitten with him, but he's put off by her incessant jabbering and over-the-top advances. As the date is abruptly brought to an end, Steve makes the fatal mistake of making an off-hand remark about going on the road with her. Moonstruck, the naïve Mary writes a sappy crossword about Steve, loses her job as a consequence, and decides to follow Steve and his crew as they cover news across the Southwest.
Throughout the movie, director Phil Traill continuously demonstrates why the vast majority of his directorial credits have been one-off work for failed sitcoms (like abominable American version of Kath & Kim) and television dramas. His efforts for All About Steve are tragically vanilla; offering lightweight silly business occurring within an infuriating sitcom atmosphere. Worst of all, Traill never advances the movie beyond the first gear, which results in a tragically staid, boring comedy. Simply put, All About Steve is entirely without laughs. The attempts at comedy never even register as such... As a matter of fact, a laugh track would've been beneficial so viewers would at least know when they're supposed to laugh. There are so many talented performers in the cast, but the problem is with Kim Barker's awful script. For those of you unfamiliar with the name (you're not alone), Barker has only one other screenwriting credit to her name: License to Wed. Instead of improving over time, this writer is getting worse.
The fundamental problem is that screenwriter Barker never seemed to realise the film is meant to be conveying a sad story. All About Steve concerns a woman who's disturbed, emotionally unstable, and in need of help. Her behaviour soars past the "lovably goofy" level and up into the "genuinely troubling" stage, but the film observes her actions as if they're cute. Added to this, the whole enterprise is disgustingly mean-spirited, and gets its kicks out of torturing a poor woman in increasingly humiliating ways. Not long after Mary and Steve first meet, she throws herself at him in a sexual manner. Instead of a friendly, farcical moment, it's something to be genuinely pitied: this unstable woman is making a complete fool out of herself in front of a man who, initially, is willing to take full advantage of her. Similarly, Thomas Haden Church's character frequently toys with Mary's emotions and personal safety. Simply put, the handling of this premise is appalling. (500) Days of Summer is perhaps the only recent example of a rom-com that managed to deal with romantic infatuation without underlying creepiness. The character of Mary in All About Steve, however, has an obsession that transforms into stalking. It grows very creepy very quickly.
On top of all this, Mary is a haphazardly assembled collection of wacky character traits, and does not ever come across as a real person. And, quite frankly, if she were a real person, she'd be a person you'd really like to avoid. From the get-go, we understand why Steve is desperately trying to get away from her. We also understand why he becomes so terrified. It's consequently impossible to root for the happiness of such an obnoxious, obvious writer's construct. Probably the biggest crime committed by All About Steve, however, is that it neglects the two most important things about a romantic comedy: romance and comedy. The film precariously skirts between dark comedy, syrupy tearjerker, romantic fable and inspirational story with a message, and the unevenness prevents the film from finding a satisfying groove.
1.5/10
