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In this name-only follow-up to the woeful 2006 film The Marine, yet another WWE superstar makes his feature-film debut (Ted DiBiase Jr.), and in the same endeavour proves that he as unfit to carry a motion picture as all the other wrestlers-turned-actors before him. For The Marine 2, DiBiase is placed in the role of a different marine named Joe Linwood, who takes a vacation in Thailand with his wife Robin (Cox) following a difficult assignment. See, Robin is in charge of a large party at some new island resort, so this is a good enough excuse for Joe to tag along in case something goes wrong. As to be expected, something does happen - a group of terrorists crash the party and take Robin hostage, along with all the other rich people. Negotiations begin between the authorities and the terrorists, but Joe is dissatisfied with their efforts. Unwilling to sit by idly, he takes matters into his own hands.
It's unbelievable how wooden everything in The Marine 2 truly is. Not a single actor here - not even the headlining Ted DiBiase Jr. - displays any degree of enthusiasm in their respective performances. DiBiase is one of the most wooden action stars in history (even by straight-to-DVD standards), and after enduring 90 minutes of him spewing clichéd dialogue with zero conviction, the "acting" of Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme becomes appreciated. At least those guys look somewhat credible are action men. DiBiase, on the other hand, merely looks like a normal young lad in prime physical condition who's more likely to hold open the door for an elderly lady at the supermarket than single-handedly assassinate a group of highly trained killers. To his credit, he does occasionally try to act (for instance during a cheesy, melodramatic "don't die on me!" moment), but he just resorts to the patented Christian Bale "gravel voice" before returning to his ordinary line delivery. While DiBiase can obviously handle the action elements (especially evident during a terrific single shot showcasing some impressive fight choreography), anytime he opens his mouth he sounds as if he's reading from a teleprompter. In fact, his performance channels the Chuck Norris style of cardboard acting. This ain't the only Chuck Norris similarity - The Marine 2 plays out like a Missing in Action sequel, with an American protagonist and Asian stereotypes for antagonists.
At least for all its flaws, The Marine 2 is superior to its name-only predecessor and considerably more enjoyable. Swapping out both John Cena and the PG-13 rating, there are at least a few guilty pleasure moments throughout. Director Roel Reiné (Pistol Whipped) stages a few impressive, flashy action scenes considering the budget and DTD origins, but the film fails to heat up until the second half, and there's a distinct lack of both forward momentum and tension. The action sequences are mishandled a lot of the time as well - during one particular scene, Joe is in a shootout, and then everyone drops their guns in order to launch into a fist fight. When there aren't any silly situations like these, or any shoddy CGI explosions stinking up the screen, a viewer will be struggling to make out where the characters are in relation to each other due to the haphazard editing and the overused handheld cameras. The thin story is stretched out by plot twists which arrive like clockwork before things culminate in a laughable foot chase in which the hero knocks down a wooden foot bridge cover using his forearm.
Rather than aping the style of the original The Marine (which was a flat-out Commando imitation) this sequel delivers something that's part First Blood and part Die Hard. Hell yes, I'm well aware of how that sounds, but those responsible for The Marine 2 lacked the talent to create a film which lives up to the potential of this ostensibly foolproof concept. There's no sense of goofy fun which was present in the countless films aped by The Marine 2...this is just a highly generic mishmash of clichés which takes itself far, far too seriously. Meanwhile the villains - led by Temuera Morrison - are marred by unclear motives and even less personality; depleting all sense of danger from the proceedings.
Lots of stuff blows up, lots of people shoot at one another, and lots of guns are fired - The Marine 2 does have that going for it. But the movie is so jam-packed with tired action movie clichés that, despite the fact it's all marginally entertaining and somewhat watchable, it's hard to recommend. Fans of 2006's The Marine (all one or two of them) in particular should stay away, since there's no connection to its predecessor, and Ted DiBiase Jr. sets the credibility of wrestlers as actors back more than a few years with his stale performance.
3.6/10
