Command & Conquer.

Cooke: You scared, motherfucker? Well, you should be, because this Green Beret is going to kick your big ass!
Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!

A retired elite commando has only a few hours to find and rescue his daughter from an exiled dictator.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: John Matrix

If there were a number of Arnie movies I would watch as a child and for what they were, it was Predator, Terminator, Last Action Hero, Total Recall and Commando is yet another. There are no pretensions here, as director Mark. L Lester creates a thoughtless, macho, no-nonsense parade of exciting violence with plenty cracking one-liners along the way. The climax especially, as there's no mercy with a rampant Arnie taking on a small army, spectating all opponents dropping like flies in a glorious array of bullets and some garden shed tools. It's entertaining, addictive and yet wittily resourceful. It's a beautiful sight for action and Arnie fans alike. It makes the powerfully violent bloodshed in the Rambo films seem poetically meaningful, as a distant relative perhaps. No flashy edits, too-close camera-work and mechanical staging (found in most latter action films) taint the glorious proceedings.

Lester's no hold-bars approach shoots the vigorous activity well with expansive scope in the devastating set-pieces and exhaustingly taut pacing. Steven E. de Souza's silly script makes little headway, but plays it straight with its welcoming humorous tongue. Quotably campy dialogues and a barrage of puns. The cast do a respectable task of bringing the action and story to life. Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers the lines and action with heart-pounding vitality. Rae Dawn Chong perfectly holds her own and Vernon Wells is eccentrically palatable as Arnie's main foe. Dan Hedaya storms in as the head villain and a cute Alyssa Milano plays Arnie's kidnapped daughter. The support cast are just as interesting with the likes of Bill Duke, David Patrick Kelly, Drew Snyder, Bob Minor, Gary Cervantes, Branscombe Richmond, Matt Landers and a brief Bill Paxton. A muscularly robust engraved music score is courtesy of James Horner.

Arius: Your father appears to be cooperating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?
Jenny: Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in.

Commando simply stands alone as one of the most overblown, frankly silly pieces of film, which you will ever see. And this is the very reason why I love Commando so much. Schwarzenegger started his nearly decade long winning run of wisecracking hard arses with Matrix. The body parts of who the camera lovingly paws before the opening titles, he is simply a masculine GOD! A paradoxical man who can kill someone with a his little finger alone, shows absolutely no trepidation in taking on a heavily fortified enemy stronghold single handed yet has a doting daughter and is shown feeding a deer with her in the starting credits! Plus, this monosyllabic killing machine has the dry, cutting wisecracks of Oscar Wilde – come on!.. who are the filmmakers trying to fool?? All the plot-holes and shoddy production values simply add to the film's attraction and appeal.
Muscles, guns, knives and bullets, shooting and fighting, blood, bodies, death and black humour. This is just the kind of a lovable movie I enjoy to see Arnold Schwarzenegger in and John Matrix is just the type of crazy macho character for him I could call perfect in every way. The year was 1985, Arnold 38 years old and Twins", "Kindergarten cop", "Junior" and "Jingle all the way were all thankfully, still dormant fantasies of things yet to come. If you want to once again hear that beloved "I'll be back" line, marvel at all that brainless violence and hilarious dialogue..."Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last? I lied"..., then witness that final mass slaughter and see Arnold like the way we all want to remember him as, watch Commando and enjoy the ride. It's FUBAR all the way!

Matrix: Don't break radio silence until they see me.
Cindy: How will I know?
Matrix: Because all fucking hell is going to break loose.


8/10