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''Oh, you're a disgrace to the profession. You're not a mercenary, you're a fucking terrorist. You need two things to live in this business, your balls and your word. You don't have either! You know the difference between you and me, Karl? I still got both.''
Veteran-turned-mercenary Toorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.
Vin Diesel: Toorop
Babylon A.D., the story of Toorop, a veteran-turned-mercenary who takes the job of escorting a woman named Aurora from Central Asia to New York, stays fresh and witty in its first hour. What Toorop thinks is an ordinarily dangerous mission soon becomes much more when he discovers that his guest is carrying twin babies, thought to be the next Messiah figures. The movie begins frantically and the first hour is interesting — one can only help but admit there is little chance of a blockbuster after hearing zero publicity. All preconceived notions aside, there are actually quite a few great turns at its opening, including a border-crossing scene equaling intensity with any action film. Needless to say, after the 40 minutes my hopes were exceptional.
The movie could have got one of two ways, really. Either it stayed true to its first hour – gritty, surprising evil marked by mysterious characters or get lazy and forever be lost to theatrical mediocrity. Unfortunately, it was the latter. What started out great in this production failure ultimately pandered its way to murky depths of boredom.
The movie ended in the direct opposite way it began. We were met with intrigue and let out with unbelievability. We were ushered in with mystery and exited with apathy. Nothing kept me thinking, nothing kept me caring. The movie ended in a lump of lazy, backward thinking – as if we cared what happened to the babies? The last scene of the film was about as entertaining as watching mould grow on a piece of bread. Standing outside some house, Toorop held the hands of two very different looking children, in an act of true love, and a commitment to raise the children on his own. All this coming from a man whom we'd grown to love by seeing him throw innocent people from a vessel he was trying to board out of self preservation. Apparently Toorop turned nice in a flicker of a moment...who knew?
If I could be blunter, I would. There were many, many things wrong with this film outside of the fact that it was created on the floor of a cutting room. The fight sequences had to be ambiguously edited in order to show the least amount of production error and lack of footage. The characters, although almost brimming with development possibility, were left to hang like a basketball mid-flight, as if we were watching a trilogy without the courtesy of seeing part one and having no hope for part three. It was nearly torturous. Babylon A.D. isn't worth the bother of a sequel, a prequel, or even the time wasted to make this intrepid affair.
4/10
