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I think Bryan Singer’s successes as a filmmaker are all flukes at this point. Superman Returns is a pathetic excuse for a big screen return of, arguably, the most well-known and popular superhero of all time. At times a complete rehash of the previous Donner films and at others a vague sequel. There is not one ounce of life, joy or thrill-making in the entirely too long film.
Superman has never been this glum, dull or out of character. He would never abandon the Earth without telling anyone for such an extended period of time, father an illegitimate child or be as vaguely creepy as he is in several scenes. Brandon Routh, however, is a fantastic choice for the role – his clean-cut all-American good looks really work for the role, and he’s got the right potential and mixture of nervous ticks and charm to play the Clark Kent role, his Superman needs some work, but that’s alright. It’s such a pity he’s stuck with such a poorly written and underwhelming take on the character. Superman is not Batman brooding away in some cave. Superman is the ultimate boy scout, and while I understand the need to make the character more human and palatable there’s a fine line between doing that and taking him completely out of character.
Kevin Spacey, on paper, seems like a great choice for the role of Lex Luthor, but he appears to be sleepwalking through much of the role and is stuck having to rehash Gene Hackman’s take on the character since he’s, basically, involved in the exact same scheme. That makes Kal Penn the Ned Beatty role, minus all the dialogue, and Parker Posey the Valerie Perrine role. The last thing I wanted to see in another Superman film was campy sidekicks for Luthor. Give me Mercy. And give me businessman Lex, no more of this land-crazy homeless mad scientist stuff.
And what can we say about Lois Lane’s new actress, Kate Bosworth? First of all, she’s got the worst possible wig and makeup job to make her look older, which makes her look matronly and homely instead of older. Second of all, she’s way too young for the role – especially if they’re going to saddle her with a ten-year-old son. Third, Lois Lane is stuck as the scatter-brained reporter, who’s amazingly skilled at putting herself in danger, but can’t spell or type very well despite being a Pulitzer Prize winner. That sounds believable, right? There’s not a spark of fire or ounce of spunk in this Lois Lane.
I was excited about the new Superman film when I first heard about it finally getting made. The original Richard Donner film is one of the my favorite movies, and I was excited about the rumors of the storyline being adapted from Death of Superman, which would have been a great way to reintroduce the fundamental aspects of the character and his world. What I got was a chick flick with Superman and his mythos (from 30+ years ago) shoe-horned into the mix. Bryan Singer – I never want you to go near a Superman movie ever again. And when they finally get around to making another Superman film – drop everyone but Routh, he’s got the goods.
