The Maestro

(Barney Stinson) But is there is a guy who dresses up in a suit and goes after hot chicks?

(Lily Aldrin) Oh, come on, Barney, it's an adorable half-hour of family television.

(Barney Stinson) Oh really? Well, I can think of a show that's better.

(Marshall Eriksen) (laughs) Barney's right.

(Lily Aldrin) (is sad)

(Barney Stinson) And the (airquotes) "football player"-- his big problem? That two chicks have an obvious yet unstated desire for both of them to date him at the same time, because they both like him, and they're both friends. And yet, (hand gestures) he can't figure it out. What he needs (more hand gestures) is for somebody to explain to him (vicious airquotes) "which one".

(Marshall Eriksen) (shakes head, amused) Dude. Neither. Because you asked.

(Lily Aldrin) (looks disappointed)

(Barney Stinson) And the (airquotes) "mom" was *clearly* not cut out to be a narrator.

(Future Ted) (voiceover) It's true, kids-- you have no idea how lucky you are to have me.

(Barney Stinson) (with feeling) And these things do not make the show worthy of my fiercest rage, but they do consign it to an eternity of tormented mediocrity.

(Marshall Eriksen) (weird laughter)

(Robin Scherbatsky) (gestures) Yeah, Barney's right.

(Barney Stinson) (fistpump)

(Robin Scherbatsky) And they really needed to get that kid to shut up. The demented kid who made that crazy sound. No.

(Ted Mosby) (suddenly surprised) Wait, you didn't like that kid?

(Lily Aldrin) (turns) You know, Barney, that show really does suck, doesn't it.

(Ted Mosby) (disoriented) Wait-- what just happened?

(7/10)