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Plot: A young artist returns to her ancestral home only to find herself wrapped up in a love triangle that defies time and superstition. Slowly, she and her friend discover her role in the seemingly fated events.
Let's not fool ourselves, the bulk of Full Moon Features' output is pretty bad. Even then, their material has a number of well-loved (though incredibly flawed) classics that fans love. Hell, every known and then (especially in their earlier years) a genuine gem managed to shine through the rough. As a fan of Charles Band's lo-fi label, I've come to love many a strange entry, warts and all, and like many other fans bemoan that the era were these lovable misfit movies were more common is long gone. As of late, I've found myself revisiting some and discovering others and this is how I found myself finally sitting down to watch Meridian: Kiss of the Beast.
That I hadn't seen it till now is somewhat of a conundrum, given its relatively good reputation among Full Moon enthusiasts. Aware of its standing, I went in with about as high an expectation as one can garner up for these type of flicks. Directed by Band himself (at the height of Full Moon's power), written by the Dennis Paoli (who had churned out some of Empire and Full Moon's best stuff), edited by Ted Nicoleau (a fine director in his own capacity), scored by Pino Donaggio, and starring Sherilyn Fenn (extra points for utilizing cribbed makeup effects courtesy of the great Greg Cannom), the movie seems to be packed with all the personnel to make a better than average picture. In fact, for decades, the impression from a multitude of reviewer was that this was one of Full Moon's best efforts.
Well, either time has been horrendously cruel to it or people were deluded. Meridian has aspirations a-plenty but it showcases Band's signature sloppiness and corner-cutting like few of their more prestige entries ever did. Yes, there are far worse Full Moon movies but it is especially egregious that this one was made with so much talent behind and in front of the camera at a time when they put a bit more effort into their work. One can forgive a Gingerdead Man being absolutely awful because, well, it's Gingerdead Man...what did you expect? This (coupled with it's comparatively better reputation), made me wonder what anyone ever saw in it.
Band is at his most Cormanesque here with an obsession with castles, pretty women, and pointless scenes obscenely stretched to their limits. Oh yes, be prepared to see a lot of walking, a nearly ten-minute questionable sex scene, and paper-thin sequences that do their least to hold back a plot reveal that any viewer (even the least astute) will have figured out the moment the movie went from one glacial scene to another. Meridian is a whisper of a story that asks much of the viewer while giving little in return.
The best way to describe the picture is as a bodice-ripper gothic horror romance (complete with bizarre rape fantasy elements) but, typical of Band at his laziest, nothing is fleshed out....so, nothing feels earned by the end. Exposition dumps sweep in to fill in what could have been easily done on a budget the whole running time up until then. A brutally daft final sequence happens that carries no mystery or stakes and, boom, it's over. A final shot leaves the screen like the noxious fart of a shot that brought the events onto it.
Melodramatic but not entertainingly so, uninspired in its use of locations or its camerawork, poorly scripted and acted, and bereft of even the barest of intriguing production elements, Meridian is a shockingly boring affair that leaves you baffled if you ever heard the slightest praise it received. Insulting filmmaking. 1 out of 10 and that 1 is for Greg Cannom's neat beast makeup (even if it's poorly shot and thus robbed of its impact).
