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Plot: A gobsmackingly dull yuppie attempts to inject color into his life by introducing a motley crew of pint-sized partiers into his mundane existence. Alas, they prove to be far more than they bargained for.
Frankie Freako is the long-anticipated return of the full Astron-6 team to a feature. Spear-headed by fan favorite Steve Kostanski behind the camera and led by Astron's own Conor Sweeney in the lead, the movie seems destined to please as they homage the many "tiny terrors" features that populated the 80s (and even found their way into the 90's). While Astron's irreverence, out-of-left-field spontaneity, and physical effects wizardry is on full display, something about the final result doesn't quite coalesce into the quality they usually churn out (as a team or otherwise).
Positive's first: The team manages to successfully evoke a look and feel that hearkens back to the 80's low-budget romps. The effects, though intentionally wonky, are very ambitious at times (most notably during the third act). On that subject, the home stretch of the flick proves to be the most entertaining part, even if it proves far too little, too late. Besides that, the most I can add is that it's not horrendous.
Make not mistake, I'm fully aware that the sub-genre they are aping is very one note and populated by borderline annoying antics but Astron's puzzling decision to lean into those threadbare foundations instead of innovating a bit really hurt the flick. To make matters worse, the whole affair feels unfocused and meandering, at times coming to a screeching halt as it tries desperately to keep dull, seemingly interminable, scenarios going. Nobody is asking this movie to be a master class in writing or filmmaking but if you're not going to keep viewers invested in what is going on at least make the creature antics enjoyable or funny. Yes, this little creature movie does very little that is amusing or humorous with its puppet protagonists. The designs of the creatures are fine enough but what little they get up to is so tame and repetitive that it only adds to the tedium of the aimless structure.
However, in my opinion, the movie's worst sin is the creative choices for its lead character. Conor Sweeney (playing a man named Conor, no less) is very palpably gung-ho in his portrayal of this mind-numbingly, groan-inducing square. Kudos for that BUT the issue is that the character is gratingly annoying, very unlikable, and just too dumb even for a movie that is honoring dumb (but fun) films the likes of Ghoulies. Kostanski has proven that he can take trashy fare like Troma movies and improve on their style with movies like Psycho Goreman (a delightful romp of nonstop laughs, fun, and crazy effects work). Hell, in that very movie he proved he can make a purposely frustrating character likable. Not so in this flick. Conor is unlikable until we get into the final stretch and, like the movie as a whole, that is not enough to save the whole portrayal.
A tiny monster movie where the monsters feel like filler and the main character is aggressively unlikable is a tough sell. One where everything feels like a messy hodge-podge of piss poor scenarios and shockingly tame "mayhem" is all the worse. To add to the list of positives, I will say that Astron member Adam Brooks turns in a short but amusing performance as Conor's sleazy boss (one of the few running gags that kind lands). Similarly Kristy Wordsworth as Conor's wife assuages his character's unlikability admirably well. The third act truly does shine, as aforementioned, gloriously wild effects take up the screen, the script finally feels like it has a purpose, and the film's villains are just a really fun addition. It really makes you wonder what could of been if they had fine-tuned everything up to then.
Frankie Freako is not a total loss. Some people will like it more than others, for sure, but does it deserve the love that some Astron-6 efforts earned? Not even close.
4/10
