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(Sheldon) "I'm the boss; I'll make the jokes."
I hate scientists.
So I decided to call this review, "I hate you, Sheldon."
(Because I hate him.)
(And I *never* knew any body like him.)
......
And you know why I don't really quote this show? Because it's fucking irritating the way they talk.... and that's why it'll never be more than average thing for me....
And why, even though you sorta can learn alot from it, I still don't really, like them all that much, I don't know.... but....
You are not the walrus. You're not John.
It's like Billy Joel, all history....
Or Miranda July, who apparently is a *director* now-- ooooh, I'm a chick who's a director, I'm not Jennifer Garner, I'm Ben Affleck!-- and an actress at the same time.... and I thought that she was a writer, but her short stories were all like she was trying to write a novel every time, and that's why she was only average.
(Who's heard of anybody who's won these damn awards, and who thinks that this crap that they put on every damn night is any good.... God damn. And you call something this sweet little title "Nobody Belongs Here", I mean, ".... More Than You", and each one is more angst-y than the next.... at least you could figure out the Fabulous Sarah Thorson and her fucking anxieties from reading the (pretend) bookjacket or whatever, and who has the guts to just to do that.... No, no.... it's all fucking clever.... Fucking cowardly, really, fucking Sheldon-- God damn you, Shut up and talk. Stop hiding behind these fucking words-- nobody cares, don't you get that? Nobody cares about you. I don't care what your fucking sob story is, just talk to me, talk to me about your life, or shut, just shut the fuck up-- I don't care about you; I don't like you.)
(And then there are the bitches who think they've been attacked by the nazis, that they're the same as people who've been attacked by the nazis, because they make less than that guy Cooper who hangs out at the comic store who makes less than that lady who runs that Macy's who makes less than Steven Spielberg who makes those creepy war movies that creepy old ladies watch, who don't go to Macy's. So that's their problem-- that they're not Sheldon, and, therefore, they're like the people who've been attacked by the nazis. Well, I wonder what the Fabulous Sarah Thorson would think of that. I wonder what anyone who's had real problems in their life would think of that. I know what I think of it, you know.)
I finally get it, now, you know.
To hell with whatever I said before-- I said to hell with it-- I don't even like Billy Joel or Miranda July.
Let alone Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco.
(And you know what really makes me angry, to think-- oh, so now buy the comics, oh, so now be the dandy militarist, so now write the slop academic stuff, so now to hell with the Beatles, Be the Social Beethoven!)
I get so angry sometimes.... and sometimes even at them. It's so irritating....
I can't even listen to them talk.
(I actually like The Fabulous Sarah Thorson, Asian Exchange Student & Somebody's Daughter, better, for all her angst, at least it's real and not dandy militarist and fake.... everybody's got an excuse and nobody can be bothered, *I* don't know....)
"This is why Sweden has no space program." No, this is why you have no love life, you fucking loser.
(Yeah, Howard's a big swinger-- he got hair, down, to his knee. *SARCASM SIGN*.)
And I sure as hell like the Fabulous Sarah Thorson better than the stupid fucking girls who want in on the Swedish space program and the dandy militarism to boot.... just shut up, nobody likes you.... *nobody likes any of you, God damn you, all, all....*
(Sheldon: But we talk like that for fun. *It's not fun*. Really-- hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease.)
You can learn from it.
(HE GOT EARLY WARNING.)
But it's like a school assignment sometimes, or just like reading a really long novel or something-- and on and on....
It's funny, because I sorta get them as characters, as people, but it's not from knowing everything that's ever been said by them.... and, to be honest, when I can hear their voices talking, imagine it, you know, it's almost irritating, because I don't really like them....
And I can write lines for them, you know, but I *don't* like them, and they always.... their conversations always end badly. I guess they're not as bad as some people, I know that, and that's sorta why you can learn from them, but....
What do I get from these people. Everything has to be action/sci-fi-- 100%. And thanks to that, all the bitter trash, the bitterness, and the shit.
And the shit that can't look the Fabulous Sarah Thorson in the eye, and tries to sell stuff based on her fucking feelings that they can't be bothered about....
And they aren't really as good as the Fabulous Sarah Thorson and her gorgeous fucking complexion, you know.
I don't know why it comes out the way it does sometimes, but....
I don't know.
It's all so fucking average.
Why do they always have to fucking sell to the most fucking average person-- 'the average girl thinks that....' and then it's good. Yeah, a *damn* average girl, you know.
But that's not working out so well for me, and that's not what I'm looking for, so maybe that's the difference between you and I.
Let me take you down, because I'm going to....
Pour some paint down a piano, ha.
Sheldon wouldn't think to do that in nine thousand fucking years.
Smart is the new.... passe.
.......
So I guess that's why sometimes I don't even like *television*, lol, because, in the words of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"-- nothing ever changes.
And it would be interesting to consider how many social evolutions have occured since 1955 (or even earlier, like, 1890) which have left Sheldon Cooper essentially unchanged.
Or, since the Jane Austen sluts, I mean, thought crime police, deleted my epic post called 'The Beatles and the Bennets'-- in brief: Paul & Jane, John & Elizabeth, George & Mary, Kitty/Lydia (they are actually one person) & Richard/Ringo, (although thankfully I kept my draft of that saved in two places, so that the lit sluts, I mean, thought police, didn't seriously disrupt my Jane research-- let us consider in brief The Alternate Universe Paradox Or Whatever:
John: All you need is love
Sheldon: That is scientifically undemonstrated!
John: You're a monster.
Paul: Is this what you call being romantic?
Lenard: Actually, it is.
Paul: *gives look, like, Really, Really Man* *walks away*
George: You know, your country is very interesting.
Raj: Oh yeah, my uncle taught me how to play the sitar when I was three and a half.
George: *produces a sitar* Let's play together.
Raj: *freezes* *"Oh shit he really knows how to play it."*
Ringo: I'm in a rock band.
Howard: Well, I know how to pick up women.
Ringo: Cool. Are you in a rock band too.
Howard: Uhhh.....
Beatles girl: I'm very romantic.
Penny: Yeah, me too.
Beatles girl: I listen to the Beatles.
Penny: *"Oh shit, she's actually romantic."* Well....
Beatles girl: You don't.
Penny: Well.... At least I'm not a.... scientist.
Beatles girl: Who do you hang out with.
Penny: *awkward silence*
Beatles girl: I'm going to Beatlemania 2013, wanna come?
Penny: *awks* I have to go watch Battlestar Galactica with the boys.
Beatles girl: *swoops up her coat and leaves*
Although she (Cuoco) was also in that one show that sucked, before she was in this show.... Galecki was in another show that sucked, too, *I think*.
So.... sometimes it's clever.... a little clever.... but, basically, it's average.
It's a very average show.
.....
I mean, the only episode that was any good was the one with the football party, and do you know what I like better? Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. (Which would be a great name for a Beatles cover band-- and the Beatles are the best band, because they have the best name, you know....)
And, thanks to one of my annoying friends, I remember all too well the *bad* part of *even the football party episode*....
.... It's just one of those things which was *almost* great.... I don't know, maybe *some* of the directors were great, or whatever.... but 'almost great' just isn't an excuse to me-- it's average.
Anybody can be ALMOST great, just like anybody can go through mediocrity, to be mediocre.
(8/10)
