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"And above all remember: don't make any friends, Jack. You used to know that."
Wow, anti-social. Harsh, dude.
And, wow, what a moron I was to think that a film called "The American" with George Clooney was going to be a comedy. That illusion was more or less shattered by the time the opening credits rolled....
And, yes, corpses are incompatible with comedy, in my book.
So much for escaping-the-dark-past, and all that crap.
And I thought that I was going to watch George Clooney trying to be romantic-- watching George Clooney trying to be romantic can be funny, I think.... Oh! Soft-hearted assasin!-- but it ended up being more about him having these long artsy half-English half-Italian conversations with a priest and assorted other losers, and pretending to be a photographer who takes pictures in the mountains and having people calling him "l'americano" and telling other people about the people that he liked that he shot.... And basically just walking around alot, and having lots of really really dull non-conversations.
(And the only thing that I learned in Italian class was "gelato" and he doesn't have any goddamn gelato.... Just have a little gelato, dammit. It's like ice cream, only more Italian. And for God's sake, say something soothing for a change, the last thing I need right now is everybody's voiced and unvoiced gripes and griefs....)
I should really just stick with Steve Carell movies, if this is the alternative. There was no Steve Carell-y growing up experience.... Just lots and lots and lots of scenes with no dialogue.
{I remember once, when I still read foreign newspapers online-- to improve my artsy language skills-- I really liked this one from Spain, (and God knows why I gave a damn about politics in Spain, and so on), and it was called.... *smiles*, 'Espanoles!', no, no.... 'Este Pais', so, anyway.... One time they reviewed one of these really moron artsy flicks that people like George Clooney do, and I guess that it must have had the Spanish George Clooney in it, whoever the hell he is.... And the whole think had literally *no dialogue*-- and all because it was about the fucking ETA, or some such trash.... "We have created a movie without ideology." Yeah, or dialogue.... And knowing all that is almost as amusing as knowing that PC people in Spain aren't supposed to say "Spain"-- it's "this country" or something instead, and all because *Spain is different*.... And I suppose that you're not allowed to call the guys in the worker's council in Barcelona-- "Spaniards!"-- either.... *waves hands*, God, what fucking bollocks it is, knowing about all that trash.... Do you know what was the first thing that they taught us in Italian class? (Even before gelato!) The articles. "Not 'il americano', 'l'americano!', 'l'americano!' *guy rides off on bike*" Although, in class, I had to listen to the worst sort of ancient Italian shrew that you've ever met in your life.... God, if I could only even tell you about it....}
And, yes, I do think that I can escape history, Christ-boy. Now stop being so goddamn boring.
(6/10)
