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So we've arrived at the third entry in the Jurassic World trilogy, and the sixth in the Jurassic Park series overall.
First, let me set up my own expectations. I was merely disappointed in Jurassic World at first, but each time I see it, I find myself disliking it more and more. And Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was so relentlessly, insultingly stupid that it makes me angry just thinking about it! So I was hoping for at least minimal improvement with this one. And… that's pretty much what I got. I'd say it's the best of the Jurassic World trilogy, but only because it mainly evoked indifference rather than anger. Which is fitting because that's the attitude the movie itself seems to have. It reeks of tiredness and apathy, like it's not trying very hard to be interesting.
I had two questions going in. One: how many feathered dinosaurs would there be? And two: how the hell did Blue have a baby?! I was under the impression that she was the last of her kind. I didn't remember any other raptors escaping at the end of Fallen Kingdom, let alone male ones. Well, the movie does address that. It's explained that her genome contains monitor lizard DNA, which can reproduce asexually. How very convenient!
As for my other question… Yes, there are a few feathered dinosaurs – and, as I expected, they're the result of experiments with pure DNA instead of splicing – but they get so little screen time that I'm not sure they'll help sell the public on the modern image of feathered dinosaurs, not helped by the fact that the movie itself isn't very good. I've said before that one good approach would be to use their unthreatening appearance to their advantage – play up how beautiful but deadly they are – and this movie kind of plays around with that idea. For example, the Therizinosaurus kills a deer at one point, not for food but just because it's in the way.
Aside from the near total neglect of feathered dinosaurs, the plot itself is also a bit of a letdown. It does finally bring back Lewis Dodgson, who was pretty underdeveloped in the first movie, but on the other hand, it squanders all the potential of dinosaurs running loose in the world by once again confining them to a designated area. It's like neither the corporations nor the filmmakers have learnt anything! It's also pretty laughable that the whole thing happens because of locusts! Dodgson's company, Biosyn, has created giant prehistoric locusts, which have escaped and become a plague, eating everything except Biosyn crops, which would allow them to corner the market on the world's food supply. Pretty much the entire plot revolves around those damn locusts. This is supposed to be Jurassic Park, not The Swarm!
One of the big selling points of this movie was the return of the old guard: Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler and Ian Malcolm from the original movies. In some ways, it is good to see them again, but they feel nothing like their old selves; the writers or director (or both) have warped them into something unrecognisable. And I still don't care about the World characters like Owen and Claire, so whenever dinosaurs were chasing them, all I could think was, "You can have them!"
This movie marks a few dinosaurs' first appearances in the film series, like Nasutoceratops, which first appeared in the Netflix show Camp Cretaceous, and Dreadnoughtus, which was introduced in the game Jurassic World Evolution. There's also a brand new addition in Atrociraptor – which, funnily enough, I first heard about in the documentary series Prehistoric Planet, which came out just before this film's release. When they showed up, I was most disappointed that they were featherless. I wondered if the feathered raptor that menaces Owen and Kayla was supposed to be a pure-bred one, since it's never identified in the film, but no, apparently it's a Pyroraptor.
And then you have the Giganotosaurus. I'm not going to sugarcoat this: it looks terrible! It looked far better in Jurassic World Evolution! I think we were all expecting it to fight the T-rex, like the Spinosaurus did in Jurassic Park III, and (spoiler alert) it does, but it's so brief that it's yet another big disappointment, like it was just an afterthought. In fact, the T-rex barely appears in this movie at all.
Like I said, for the most part, this movie got no rise out of me whatsoever. Even when something theoretically exciting was happening, I was completely indifferent. But one thing that stands out is a recurring problem where time apparently has no relevance. For example, during the chase scene in Malta, when a raptor breaks through the door a character just shut behind them, the person is much further down the stairs than the editing suggests they should be. By that same token, there's a moment when the Giganotosaurus is deterred and then turns back, and everyone has apparently had time to get up the ladder.
There's one phenomenally stupid scene where pterosaurs are attacking Kayla's plane, and Owen tells Claire to eject; the pterosaurs immediately go after her and destroy her parachute. It's like, what did you think was going to happen? Idiots!
Also, the scene where everyone sees the Giganotosaurus just feels wrong. Grant identifies it matter-of-factly, then everyone immediately starts backing away from it. It feels jarring, a very unnatural reaction, like they suddenly remembered they're supposed to be scared.
Now, my last couple of comments might be considered major spoilers, so you have been warned.
One of my big issues with Fallen Kingdom was the idea that Benjamin Lockwood, in creating Maisie, poured a ton of money and company resources into a selfish personal project just because he couldn't get over the loss of his daughter. Well, this movie nullifies that idea by further exploring Maisie's origin. Except the truth it reveals is arguably even stupider! Let's just say they seem to think it's a clever parallel with Blue's asexual reproduction.
The other spoiler I'll give concerns Dodgson. I wondered if he'd end up suffering the same fate he does in the Lost World novel: essentially what happens to Peter Ludlow in the movie. But instead, his fate is reminiscent of Dennis Nedry's, which is rather appropriate, since it was their deal that ruined everything in the first place.
To sum it up, if this really is to be the last Jurassic Park movie, then it's a thoroughly underwhelming finale with only the faintest hint of effort; the series ends not with a bang but with a shrug. (Hell, the ending doesn't even feel like a conclusion, but more like a deferment.) But I can't agree with those claiming it's the worst of the series. Not when Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom exists. Seriously, every second of that movie felt like an insult, to the original Jurassic Park and to the audience's intelligence! Like I said, I'll take uninteresting over anger-inducing any day.
My rating: 50%
