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Today, November 16th 2020 I came to know about Abunai Sisters and being the way I am I just had to watch it, add it to my list and write about it. What I’m doing here is completely pointless because nobody in their right mind would bother to watch it or talk about it and thus nobody will read this. Newer viewers wouldn’t bother with it mainly because they wouldn’t know about it and also because it’s old by now.
As for the rest, they wouldn’t bother with it because a look at the poster, the score and the synopsis is enough to tell you that it’s not worth watching, even those like me who ocassionaly like to torture themselves and check out some of the worst anime of all times wouldn’t normally bother with it because it’s not as infamous as other titles such as Mars of Destruction, Skelter Heaven, MD Geist, Pupa and the likes.
But even if it’s pointless I’m writing this because I can and because I wanted to write a review for quite some time. And hey, if at least one person read this, then it was worth it.
With that said, there’s really nothing much to say about it, one look at the poster and the synopsis and you get the deal, two female agents who somehow are also celebrities protect some crystal from the villain from Spirited Away and her companion, a pervy version of Mr. Incredible’s boss. No really, the bad guys look like them.
Here’s where the first problem arise, how can secret agents be celebrities at the same time? Shouldn’t they be discrete? Well I guess being famous could be a facade, who would suspect of two famous women to be secret agents? Even then they sure don’t seem to be secret agents, as all they do in the show has more to do with their celebrity life rather than their work as secret agents. The series don’t tell you anything about what is this agency their work for, which is their rank there and what do they do there, heck, it doesn’t even appear.
You won’t even know who their enemies are and why do they want the “booby stone” as they call it, ok it is mentioned in the show that said stone brings eternal beauty or something but it sure doesn’t look like it when you watch the series.
You won’t even know why are these sisters celebrities, as all they do is goof around in their big mansion, located in some private tropical island with the worst security of all times as it allows the bad guys to appear and reappear every single time. They never sing, or dance, or do anything really. No personality nor backgrounds at all.
And of course, nothing in the series makes sense as the sisters have booby powers which allows them to increase their sizes and attack with them, while also have a booby alarm as they call it, which usually works, warning them about danger, but sometimes it doesn’t for plot convenience. Not story at all either.
But look at me, talking seriously about a show which clearly does not require to do so as is just a silly comedy, I am just as ridiculous as the series itself. Well, even if I am to judge the show that way, it is also terrible on that level, as the jokes consist in repeating the exact same formula in each one of the 10 episodes, the sisters are just chilling around, the bad guys appear with bad disguises and try to take the stone, the booby alarm sounds and make the sisters’ breasts bounce like crazy and they stop the bad guys with their own gadgets, the end.
There was an instance where, although the formula and the result were the same, they did it by playing volleyball which was fine for a change, until they ruined even this by doing the exact same thing in the exact next episode, only with ping pong, thank you so much show, for ruining even the tiniest variety you had.
If I am to compare this with episodic cartoons which repeat the same formula from…just about any era, even them have more variety with how their formulas play out in each episode. Heck, there’s not even a reason to compare it to cartoons, there’s Pucca, which began as a 2 minute per episode webseries, meaning, it has shorter episodes than this, and even that one has more variety than this.
The jokes themselves, apart from the nonsensical situations, have to do with an attemtp to make fun of celebrities’ life and first world problems, but it’s so explicit about it to the point of telling you the joke directly while the character saying it looks at the screen, it’s not subtle at all, thus is not funny at all, thus it fails as a parody.
I can’t even recognize the ecchi in the show as unique or creative, as we’ve seen boobs making crazier things and being even more deformed in anime, both before and after, even the likes of Valkyirie Drive: Mermaid, Manyuu Kikenchou, Seikon no Qwaser, Queen’s Blade, Eiken and just about any ecchi you either know or don’t know about is way better than this at least on that level and you are more excused to watch them than Abunai Sisters.
The sisters themselves are based after two real japanese sisters who are apparently models by the way, and thankfully they don’t look anything like their counterparts in the show. I don’t know what’s the deal with those sisters and if they were at the peak of their popularity in 2009 when this came out to excuse its existence but this show surely doesn’t work even as a promotional material, it makes them look stupid, superficial, and just plain ugly. We’re talking about Charlie’s Angel videogame for PSX levels of bad publicity here, if not even worse.
As for the production values, what’s there to say? They are atrocious on every aspect but if you are cursed enough to be reading this, don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is the worst CGI of all time. There are worse looking cartoons and videogames as well as there are worse looking anime, such as Urda and Digimon X-Evolution. Even then, those products are excused for coming out way earlier than this series and Urda was even made by a bunch of unprofessional noobs, while Abunai Sisters came out in freaking 2009 and was made by such a big studio like Production I.G, which made visual masterpieces both before and after this monstruosity. There just isn’t any show by them that looks as bad as this.
The sound is even worse, as there is barely music which is forgettable at best, and the sound effects are old and weak by 2009 standards. But the worst aspect is the voices, apparently there is a version with normal voices, but no, in the only one avalaible online they sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks, the fact that is english dub only makes it even worse because there are no subtitles to help you understand what is it that they are supposed to be saying.
Ultimately, being a Production I.G work is the definitive factor that makes Abunai Sisters so bad and so disappointing, if it was made earlier and by a worse studio, I would give it even a 2 out of 10. No really, once you watched so much bad stuff as I did you appreciate that, as a parodical comedy, this atrocity at least does not try to take itself seriously in the slightest, unlike things like Mars of Destruction, Skelter Heaven, Roots Search X, MD Geist, Midori, Pupa, Ousama Game, Evil or Live, Dies Irae, Hand Shakers or the most recent Kyouchuu Rettou or Gibiate (among lots of other examples), which try to be either serious, or dramatic, or deep, or epic, or horror and they all fail terribly at it. Nor does it insult a good and popular IP, as Souten no Ken does with Hokuto no Ken.
Even if I am to compare it with another “comedy” is at least better than Twinkle Nora Rock me for making slightly more sense and for having actual animation.
Thus Abunai Sisters is better than all of them for not even trying, but even then it does not deserve more than the lowest score from me for how badly made it is and for how much better stuff there is, it makes even the Charlie’s Angels PSX game look bad (and not terrible), it makes the Charlie’s Angels movies seem passable because the action has more stakes, way better battle choreography and gorgeous women, it makes the Totally Spies! cartoon series seem passable for having better comedy and more explored characters, then there are the ecchi shows which I already mentioned that are simply far more appealing than this.
Heck, even if I try to think in the people with the craziest and the weirdest of fetishes, there is a lot of stuff such as inflation in certain websites which makes this look tame, thus Abunai Sisters does not have any value even for them and excuses my score. (If you are not one of them and you don’t know what that is then good for you, now pay attention to a warning like this for once in your life and don’t google it, seriously, I wish I was as lucky).
1/10
