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To say that this film is crazy and silly from start to finish is an absolute understatement. Hudson Hawk (Bruce Willis) and Tommy Five-Tone (Danny Aiello) are cat burglars who are blackmailed on a mission to steal Renaissance artifacts that contain diamonds. These diamonds are used to resurrect a Da Vinci alchemical machine that turns basic metals into gold. Of course, Hudson Hawk combines elements of tongue-and-cheek dark humor, Hope and Crosby adventure comedies, surreal humor, cartoony slapstick humor, and screwball comedy. However, a good chunk of why the movie doesn’t work is because the humor doesn’t impact the story at all or lead to anywhere, like the writers are presenting every over-the-top joke in a desperate attempt to grab the audience’s attention. Worst of all, the writers wave their keys so often that it leaves no room for the movie to pause, breathe, and examine character, so the viewers are kept out of the movie’s environment. Also, almost every minor character, including The Mayflowers (Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhard), Sister Anna (Andie MacDowell), the Mario Brothers (Frank Stallone and Carmine Zozzara), and CIA head George Kaplan (James Coburn) and his candy-named agents, are absolute hams, up to a point where they distract from the plot and jokes. To add insult to injury, no one seems to have a reason to behave that way, so the humor falls even flatter than before. It’s actually a shame because I wanted to like this movie, as the out-of-context clips I saw before viewing weren’t too bad and earned me a chuckle. However, in context, Hudson Hawk, while not without charm and with some impressive stunts, is all about behavior and restless humor, all without structure or meaning.
(1 ½ Da Vinci Horse Sculptures out of 5)
