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Once upon a time, Marvel’s entertainment industry was in a downward spiral, releasing bomb after bomb on television and on the big screen. Nowhere has there been a better example of this than Howard the Duck. Released under the mindset of George Lucas, this fish-out-of-water story follows the adventures of Howard, a duck-like alien, who gets transported to Earth and lands on the streets of Cleveland. There, he befriends a beautiful rock musician Beverly (Lea Thompson), who potentially becomes his love interest, and the aspired scientist Phil (Tim Robbins), who hopes to study him. The outcast duck also makes a fair share of enemies, including a group of street alley thugs, Beverly’s sleazy band manager, Japanese diner chefs who want to cook him, and a race of alien overlords, one of them possesses Dr. Jenning (Jeffrey Jones). While I will forgive the subpar ILM special effects, the creepy duck suit and the abundance of duck puns, the main problem with the movie is the inconsistent tone. The movie is too ridiculous and silly for adults and it’s too extreme and mean-spirited for children. There are far too many adult themes including Lucasfilm inside jokes, violent threats, use of profanity, alcoholism, bestiality, sexual themes and even a female duck with exposed humanlike breasts. By reading this, you guys don’t need me to tell you that Howard the Duck is the reason why a bad idea should stay a bad idea. In fact, shut your computers off and watch Guardians of the Galaxy instead.
(1 ½ Duck Titties out of 5) (It was either that or “Quiche Lorraine,” but “Duck Titties” sounded funnier and bore repeating. Duck titties.)
