Login
Let me stop for a minute and tell you how a Christmas film is made. Some Hollywood executives in July decide, "Hey, you know what, we should make a Christmas movie in order to make a few million dollars. Have someone come up with a script with the most mean spirited characters, unfunny jokes and have them all come together at the end so the true meaning of Christmas can come through them and have the script written in a week so we can start filming. Then let's get an A-list actor who is desperately looking for a job so that it can look like our movie is going to be awesome and cool even though underneath the layer it's really a lame film. Then we'll market it as a lighthearted family Christmas film that any child would want to see and make their parents pester them into seeing it, and they have to because it's a Christmas movie. And if it's bad, they'll excuse it because it's a Christmas movie. Sound like a good idea?" That has probably been on the mind of execs during a lot of Christmas movies that are made. They usually just throw it at you, hope you like it, and it's a Christmas film so it'll make money whether or not it's any good.
I will start by briefly explaining what's good about this film. Phil Hartman can be fun as the evil neighbor sometimes. Some of the jokes actually aren't that bad, and the film does have a good message tacked on at the end.
Now, what's bad about the film? Arnold Schwartzenegger is badly miscast in this film as the main protagonist. Sinbad is really grating. The kid is obnoxious. The film's plot is ludicrous. The acting is awful. Logic flies completely out the window with ninjas mall Santa's attacking Arnold, and having a living working jet pack. The film promotes conformity in every meaning of the word without anything to balance it out. The film takes completely idiotic twists and turns without any bit of wit, charm of logic. It's mean-spirited, unfunny, calamity of a Christmas family comedy that deserves almost every bit of criticism it receives.
To be fair, I can see why some people consider it a guilty pleasure, in fact when I was a kid, I did somewhat enjoy this movie. But now having rewatched it, now that I'm older, the film is terrible on nearly every account. Forget coal, this is what they should put in stockings if children are bad. Be very afraid of this film.
3/10
