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Not a takeoff of the source material so much a vague sequel, The Three Musketeers is a little over an hour but generally free from joy, memorable music, or anything with “oomph” that makes visiting Mickey and the gang so much fun. Sure, the fourth-wall jokes are cute, but they begin to pileup as exercises in futility if they’re the only funny bits that are working. Pete has his peg-leg back and is in villainous mode, with a delightfully deranged Clarabelle as his gal Friday, while Goofy and Donald round out Mickey’s straight man with their lunacy, but it just isn’t enough.
Perhaps the biggest strike against it is how the first half is zippy and full of anarchic energy, and then it all clearly loses gas. The engine is running no fumes by minute 35, but we’re only a little over halfway there. What should have been, and felt like, a natural climax is merely a point in the narrative where things start to repeat. Just how many times can Minnie either narrowly escape capture or need rescuing in 68 minutes anyway?
There’s a very charming and delightful short film buried somewhere in the rewritten opera songs, visual gags, and borrowed literary pedigree. It’s not the worst of the direct-to-video bunch, but it’s grossly inadequate a use of the company’s a-list creations. The Mouse deserves better.
