What's up doc?

''What's up doc?''

A man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen.

Clive Owen: Smith

In this deliriously over-the-top masterpiece of outrageously clever mayhem, star Clive Owen is an unstoppable good-guy gunman who is given to asking the question "you know what I hate?" before doing something about it, with explosive shot out consequences.



You know what I hate? Dishonest, hypocritical reviewers like the ones sitting in certain screenings. Although there is positive grunts of enthusiasm and other appreciative sounds during the deliciously inventive stunts, laugh out loud jokes, gasped and groaned at all the right places, and generally appeared to be having a ball, they said afterwards that they didn't like said film.

What the hell is wrong with critics like that? Are they afraid the art-house crowd won't take them seriously if they express appreciation for a film in which a newborn's umbilical cord is cut with a gunshot, or a thug gets killed by having a carrot shoved in his mouth and out the back of his head? What, you mean Bergman or Antonioni never filmed a lactating hooker tearing out a ring from a Marilyn Manson look-alike's personal area to convince him to talk?
Not everything has to politically correct to be greatness, which is why some critics can't show their true feelings or views on said films due to not being Critical enough. Spinning lies and their own dream-land view of what they want others to credit their critic nature. All I want is honesty, so I'm going to give just that and hope everyone does too.

Moving on to the posters for Shoot 'Em Up, resembling something along the lines of Frank Miller comic-book drawings coming to life, the actual film has more in common with the work of another comic-book great: Garth Ennis, writer of such jaw-dropping hyper-violent heroes, such as Marvel's Punisher. (Although the awful 2004 Punisher movie included some supporting characters and plot points that originated with Ennis, it lacked anything resembling his very dark yet fiercely entertaining style. The guy definitely has a way of making vigilantes and their dangerous toys fascinating.)



DQ: Who are you?
Mr. Smith: I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous.

Owen plays Mr. Smith; A guy who is simply waiting for a bus when he gets drawn into one of the wildest, most crazy-violent action opening scenes of all time. By the time the bullets stop flying, Smith is on the run with a complete stranger's targeted-for-death baby and one hell of a lot of questions.
Smith enlists a beautiful Goddess, "Got milk" hooker (Monica Bellucci) to feed the baby. Despite some tough talk, she turns out to be increasingly placid bordering on sensual and maternal; More a kick-ass tomboy, which makes for a nice change in this kind of story.
Meanwhile, a sadistically evil genius mob Boss appropriately named Hertz(Paul Giamatti) dogs their trail with a never-ending army of hired killers and, yes, a couple of dogs. Giamatti scores as this badass with brains, who is shocked and hilariously furious about how Smith & Company keep managing to survive. "Do we suck this bad," he says at one point, "or is this guy really that good?."

Writer/director Michael Davis has loaded the film with one unforgettably imaginative image after another: spent shell casings bouncing off a pregnant woman's stomach, a gun dropping in an unflushed toilet, a hand with bullets between the fingers shoved into a fireplace as an improvised weapon. There are showdowns, standoffs, car chases, airborne gun battles and even a shootout in a firearms factory.
Best of all, the screenplay manages to both glorify in and yet subvert some of the things you'll be expecting. For example, it's a mega-body-count, blizzard-of-bullets barrage that's actually a plea for gun control at heart. Seriously. Also, although it has scenes referencing bits from movies as diverse as Lost Highway, The Transporter and even Raising Arizona. Shoot Em Up overall feels fresh and original.

''Eat your vegetables.''

This was simply an unpretentious and enjoyable film. No big message, just non stop and often ridiculous action. If you can enjoy a James Bond or Die Hard flick, you will find this movie well worth spending (almost) one and half hours of your life.
A proverbial Bugs Bunny, including literally mimicking the wascally wabbit, Clive Owen's Mr. Smith seeps cool, it's apparent that this is his shot at being James Bond (director Michael Davis always wanted to direct a Bond film) and he's thrown every snappy one-liner and unflinching glare that he possibly can muster. Paul Giamatti is the show stealer as the crazed assassin Mr. Hertz, who is ruthlessly vile, wickedly intelligent, and an inept family man. His role is constantly surprising and spontaneous, and his batty bearded grins are laughably priceless. Monica Bellucci seems selected only for her willingness to do nude scenes and her sexy Italian accent. The remainder of the supporting cast are merely targets thrown in front of machine guns and heavy firepower to keep the downtime to a minimum. Even sex scenes are blanketed by violence, gunfire, and a bit of humour. While everything is markedly seedy and gritty, these anti-hero sorts and wickedly evil villains fit perfectly into the underworld locales and environments.



Mr. Smith: [eating carrot] What's up doc?
Mr. Hertz: You wascally wabbit.

Some may consider Shoot 'Em Up's weakest component to be its ridiculous story and the robotic debriefing of plot twists. But then they would have missed the point entirely. Davis' film mocks the overly simplistic and oftentimes nonsensical story lines of humdrum actioners and makes no excuses for its own deliberate transitions and set pieces that roll from one action sequence directly into another. Much like the clever ridicule of stereotypical horror films by Wes Craven's Scream, the characters in Shoot 'Em Up are self aware of their positions in an action vehicle and work to make it as defiantly random as possible. Clive Owen's Mr. Smith constantly spouts off his dislikes of the normalcies regularly witnessed in the genre, and the comforting blend of hyper-violence, twisted humor, and extreme exaggerations never stales throughout the relatively short running time. Nonstop action doesn't always make a film, but it sure does help.

So much action permeates every scene in Shoot 'Em Up that to call it just an action movie would be an understatement. It's unrelenting action bravado of a particularly brutal temperament, masked by loads of dark humour(even the sex scene manages to have a vicious firefight halfway through). Shoot 'Em Up proves that carrots can be deadly weapons, limerick usage makes better bad guys, and no matter the amount of killing done, it can be redeemed by saving the life of a babe(or two!). Plus having a plot isn't always a factor for making an entertaining action movie. This is an action junkie masterpiece...On speed...And even then it doesn't stop!

''Let me give you a piece of advice. Never trust the people who stand to profit, plain and simple. They're the bad guys.''

10/10