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"All you gotta do is go pick up a kid down in New Jersey, and drive him down to D.C. How hard can that be, huh? Can't be that hard, now, can it? No, gotta be a senior detective. Think like a traffic jam, throwing a car at me's gonna stop me? Huh?"
I'll be frank: my disappointment with the watering down of Live Free or Die Hard was the equivalent of being depressed following a death in the family. The latest plague affecting contemporary action films is the acquisition of the PG-13 rating from the MPAA to secure as much money at the box office as possible. I was unreservedly devastated when I learnt that the long-awaited Die Hard sequel would have the proverbial hardcore violence and foul language diluted for the attainment of a PG-13 rating. Understandably, I was therefore extraordinarily excited when I learnt of the uncut version. I never thought I'd ever say this...but give me the theatrical version any day!
This uncut version merely includes about twenty obviously dubbed swear words and a few shots being touched up with terribly fake CGI blood. There are a few instances when the swear words were genuinely spoken on set, but too often were there occasions when it's painfully obvious Bruce was just thrown into a dubbing booth and asked to swear as frequently as he could. Had the filmmakers lensed a reasonable quantity of practical blood effects and alternate takes that included profanity, this film could be damn close to rivalling the first Die Hard. As it is, this uncut version is a colossal disappointment.
The editor could have at least just inserted all the genuine f-bombs, leaving out both the dubbed f-bombs and the CGI blood, as that would have been the best edit. Furthermore, while I watched behind-the-scenes footage I realised Bruce Willis did a number of alternate takes. These extra lines never made it into this uncut version when they'd fit perfectly. It's infuriating that this uncut version also removed two of the greatest lines from the theatrical cut. One of these lines was replaced with something inferior; the other line was replaced with nothing at all. And the theatrical version suffered from numerous obvious moments of shoddy ADR. It seemed to me these shots were probably originally laced with profanity and would be restored for this cut...but these moments all remain exactly the same. It looks like the editor spent 10 minutes putting together this hack-job. It occasionally looks like a dodgy TV edit!
This is a wasted opportunity...pure and simple. If Fox gave me the entire cast, a few sets and a camera crew for a few days, I could definitely produce a worthy R-rated version. Heck, if I was given access to all the raw footage and an expert editor to give me a helping hand, I'd also be able to produce a more worthy version. Fox deserves a letter bomb for this!
As an uncut version, this deserves a dismal 1.5/5 rating. It isn't a total disaster as it's great hearing John McClane using the term "motherfucker" again (when it was spoken on the set, that is). As a standalone pic it warrants a 3.5 star rating simply because the suspense and tension is still there, as is the awesome action and the clever scenarios. All in all, this is a missed opportunity.
4.9/10
