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The first film, Anaconda, was probably the worst monster blockbuster to hit cinemas since...ever. I have no idea why, but the studio seemed to think that a sequel to a dreadful film would be a good idea. But this sequel only lies in the name as there is no link between the two other than the central monster being an anaconda.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is a film that doesn't even work as a guilty pleasure; like its predecessor, the film is B-Grade, appalling and just plain dreadful. Watching the film necessitates a comprehensive disconnection from reality; it's plagued with inconsistencies and factual errors that arrive by the bucket load. The snakes shown here are far from realistic. They are shown to have a fondness for biting, to be fast moving and the size of a Sydney monorail. Usually one could excuse these things for the sake of entertainment, but these ideas aren't sold in a way that's anywhere near believable. Examples include bad CGI, crummy acting, artificial atmosphere, and a predictable script.
The plot isn't terribly good here either - a plant called the blood orchid is discovered in a remote deep jungle in Borneo. Apparently this particular plant is the 'fountain of youth' and only pops up for a very limited amount of time. Predictably, a pharmaceutical company wants to send a team into Borneo on a scientific expedition to retrieve the orchid before it disappears. Upon arrival in the jungle, the anacondas start eating people.
All the characters are terribly, painfully clichéd - there's the serious one that knows how to avoid being eaten, the dumb (or joking) characters who get killed first and a few babes who wear singlet tops to please the men. The whole movie can pretty much be summed up by looking at the front cover. There are no intriguing plot twists and no attempt to remove this from the "B-Grade horror trash" category.
I couldn't believe how bad all the filmmaking was for this production. For one, the directing is tremendously weak. Because the actors deliver their lines in such a shockingly bad way, there is also no passion in the performances and therefore the scares are non-existent. The music is usually meant to assist in the filmmaking and the creation of first-rate scares. Instead the music makes the film even more predictable. Every time the music gets even mildly intense we know that an anaconda is about to pop up and eat someone. It's all so predictable.
Heck, I'll even go so far as to say that the cinematography and locations were bleak. For the most part it felt like it was being filmed on a sound stage. That's not the desired effect on the viewer. And I think the principal flaw is the CGI. It made the snakes look utterly horrible.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid should never have been brought to fruition. The first film was bad enough, but it seems the studio figured they just hadn't tortured their viewers enough. This sequel is even worse than the first movie. And that's one heck of an insult. Interestingly enough, the monkey gets more close-ups than anyone else in the cast.
2/10
