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"A race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!" as quoted by Bela Lugosi's character in another of Ed Wood's famously appalling films.
That quote pretty much sums up the plot...and the absolutely appalling screenplay.
Bride of the Monster is about a crazed doctor named Eric Vornoff who is experimenting with people to create his own "master race" of atomic people to rule the world.
Premise is weak, and executed appallingly! Performances are just woeful, with Lugosi visibly past his prime, Tor Johnson doing nothing more than zombie sleep-walking and a bit of roaring, and there's a few others that do nothing more than winge and moan, and add nothing to the story.
Script is horrible...I mean how did the actors ever agree to say such lines?! And the octopus...well it's so rubber and fake I believe even a novelty store would be fiercely ashmed to so much as glance at it. The attacking scenes...laughable. The opening attack scene was just dismal, with bad editing, bad acting and above all no believability at all.
The octopus never so much as touches the guy. All other attacks throughout the film are even worse...with an actor happily sitting amongst the tenticles and pulling the lifeless tenticles onto themself.
And don't get me started on the alligator...that scene was even worse. It was different in every shot, and is never seen in the same frame as the actor.
And what's more - a snake that looks out of place and suddenly turns all stiff and rubber a second before it's killed.
Regular on set goofs are visible, with shaking sets, and fake looking props. Heck, even when things get shot there's not so much as a bullet mark on them.
Those who've seen Tim Burton's biopic of Ed Wood will be familiar with the offscreen misadventures the crew faced.
The film is another trademark bad movie from Ed Wood...so bad it's very watchable and extremely funny at times. I watched it for its comedic entertainment value, and that's the only reason anyone should watch it.
2/10
