Leonard continues to insist he is a doctor

Zelig (Woody Allen 1983)


You're a doctor?
Yes, I am.

Perhaps you've read
my latest paper...
on delusional paranoia.
Turns out
the entire thing is mental.

Suppose I tell you
you're not a doctor.

I would say
that you're making a joke.
Incidentally, is it
always so bright in here?

I'm recording these sessions
on film, if you don't mind.

There's somebody
behind there, right?

That's right.
That's a camera.

Why don't we start
with simple reality.
Leonard, you're not a doctor.
You're a patient,
and I'm the doctor.

I wouldn't tell it to
too many people if I were you.

Leonard, you're not a doctor.

Is she going to be all right?
I've got to get back to town.
Really. I have
an interesting case--
treating two sets
of Siamese twins...
with split personalities.
I'm getting paid
by eight people.

"The first week's sessions
did not go too well..."
writes Dr. Fletcher
in her diary.
"Leonard identifies with me...
"and is convinced
that he is a doctor.
"He is guarded and suspicious.
"There is something
very appealing about him, too.
"He's quick-witted
and energetic.
"Perhaps it is his very
helplessness that moves me.
"I must keep flexible
and play the situation by ear.

How are you today, Leonard?

Fine.
I got to get back to town soon.
I teach a course...
at the Psychiatric Institute on masturbation.

I see.

I'm a doctor, and l--

Guilt-related masturbation.

Not guilt-related.
I teach advanced.
I'm quite a respected doctor there.

Let your eyes follow this pen.
Just let yourself
breathe deeply.
Relax.

You're trying to hypnotize me.

-Do you mind?

-Yes, I mind. I'm a doctor.

You're not a doctor.
I am a doctor.

Just relax.

I can't.
I'm due back in town.
I have this
masturbation class.
If I'm not there,
they start without me.