MY Naruto story!

A resident of Cannabis Leaf Village, Naruto was your typical loud-mouthed brat, fuelled by far too many E-numbers from all that ultra-cheap orange juice he liked to guzzle by the gallon. Somewhat atypically, however, he harboured a schizoid paranoia about being the container of a demon fox. So, perhaps, it was a small blessing that his imagination was, at best, stunted; for, otherwise, he may have imagined something *truly* frightening.
Someone of a charitable dispostion may have called him 'lively', or perhaps even 'hyperactive', but most preferred to call a spade a spade, and Naruto an annoying shit. He may have been autistic, though nobody knew for sure, for he possessed no social skills whatsoever, and ambled through life utterly devoid of friends. Though he yearned for acceptance, it seemed to others that he went out of his way to court rejection, babbling incoherently about demon foxes and pulling irritatiing pranks his peers had long since grown out of. In short, they regarded him as the village idiot, someone whose stupidity would allow them to expolit him whenever they needed his lunch money, or a scapegoat for their more unsavoury antics.
In fact, so miserable and wretched is Naruto's life, I can no longer be bothered to write about it, so I'll cut a long story short: he died, having allowed himself to be beaten by his schoolmates, because he was stupid enough to believe they were trying to kick out the demon fox. As stupid in death as he was in life, he couldn't find his way to Heaven, despite the shaft of brilliant light and the call of angels. Instead, he migrated to his computer's modem, where he was dispersed across the internet. To this day, fragments of his retarded spirit search for suitable hosts to possess, in the vain hope of making a few friends. Usually, these hosts tend to be children in their early teens. Once possessed, they become dribbling idiots, utterly incapable of intelligent conversation or any sort of higher reasoning. Nobody knows why they tend to be American, but the most likely explanation is that Naruto got lost, even though, now as part of the internet, he could access Google Maps.

now THAT's a story :)

but Vox, their vocabulary and grammar are so primitive they won't be able to read thru his entire post. there, chaos averted. :)

better help them out by running it thru the English-to-12 year old translator:

A R3SIEDNT OF CANABIS L3AF VILAEG NARU2 WAS UR TYPICAL LOUD-MOUTHAD BRAT FUELAD BY FAR 2 MANY 3-NUMBRS FROM AL TAHT ULTRA-CH3AP ORANGE JUIEC HA LIEKD 2 GUZL3 BY TEH GALON!1!!111 WTF WUT ATYPICALY HOWAVER H3 HARBOURED A SCHIZOID PARANOIA ABOUT BNG TEH CONTANEER OF A D3MON FOX!!1!!! WTF LOL SO PERHAPS IT WAS A SMAL BLESNG TAHT HIS IMAGINATION WAS AT BST STUNTED FOR OTHERWIES H3 MAY HAEV IMAGIEND SOM3THNG *TRULY* FRIGHT3NNG
SOMEON3!111!111 OF A CHARITABLE DISPOSTION MAY HAEV CALED HIM LIEVLEY OR PERHAPS 3V3N HYPERACTIEV BUT MOST PRAF3R3D 2 CAL A SPAED A SPAED AND NARU2 AN ANOYNG SHIT!1!!! OMG HE MAY HAEV B3N AUTISTIC THOUGH NOBODY KN3W FOR SURE FOR HE POSESED NO SOCIAL SKILS WUT AND MBLAD THROUGH LIEF UTERLEY DEVOID OF FREINDS!!!1! WTF THOUGH HE Y3ARN3D FOR ACAPTANC3 IT SEM3D 2 OTH3RS TAHT HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY 2 COURT R3J3CTION BABLNG INCO3RENTLEY ABOUT DEMON FOXES AND PULNG IRITATING PRANKS HIS PERS HAD LONG SINCE GROWN OUT OF!!!!!1!1 IN SHORT THEY R3GARDAD HIM AS TEH VILAEG IDIOT SOMEON3 WHOS3 STUPIDITY WUD ALOW THEM 2 EXPOLIT HIM WH3NAV3R THEY NEDED HIS LUNCH MONAY OR A SCAEPGOAT FOR THERE MOR3 UNSAVOURY ANTIS
IN!!!!1!1!! OMG LOL FACT SO MIESRABLA AND WRATCHAD SI NARU2S LIEF I CAN NO LONG3R B BOTHERED 2 WRIET ABOUT IT SO IL CUT A LONG S2RY SHORT HE DEID HAVNG ALOW3D HIMS3LF 2 B BAETN BY HIS SKOOLMAETS B/C HA WAS STUPID ANOUGH 2 BLEIVA TH3Y WERE TRYNG 2 KIK OUT DA DAMON FOX!111!1 WTF LOL AS STUPID IN DAATH AS HE WAS IN LIEF HA CUDNT FIND HIS WAY 2 HEAEVN DESPIET DA SHAFT OF BRILIANT LIGHT AND TEH CAL OF ANGALS!!!11!11 WTF INSTEAD H3 MIGRAETD 2 HIS COMPUTARS MOD3M WHARA H3 WAS DISP3RS3D ACROS TEH INTERNET!!!1!11 OMG 2 THES DAY FRAGM3NTS OF HIS R3TARDAD SPIRIT SAARCH FOR SUITABLE HOSTS 2 POS3S IN TEH VANE HOPE OF MAKNG A FEW FREINDS!111! OMG WTF USUALY THESE HOSTS T3ND 2 B CHILDREN IN THERE EARLEY TENS!!1!!!!1 WTF LOL ONCE POS3S3D THAY BCOME DRIBLNG IDIOTS UTARLEY INCAPABLA OF INTALIEGNT CONVARSATION OR ANY SORT OF HIGHER REASONNG!!!!1 LOL NOBODY KNOWS Y THEY TEND 2 B MERICAN BUT DA MOST LIEKLEY 3XPLANATION SI TAHT NARU2 GOT LOST EVEN THOUGH NOW AS PART OF DA INTERNAT H3 CUD ACES GOGLA MAPS!!!11!1 LOL

Haha, I like that 'translation'! I particularly liked the addition of 'WTF LOL' after the bit about him believing himself to be possessed by a demon fox. It's pretty much what I thought when I first discovered that gem, anyway!

ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html

that's the site I used. that WTF LOL was added by an automated computer program. lol go figure. even a computer thinks the concept of a Demon Fox is simply insane. :)

Interesting that the automated computer program can give more pertinent responses than a supposedly living child...